Alone

Loving a person who can't love you back,
Is way lonelier than living alone....
~Grey's Anatomy


=as taken from ah kow's blog=


hmm
sighz..
in the end..
we are all alone
arent we


alone in a crowd
alone in a group
alone in a pair
alone by ourselves


solidarity is a fact of life

Renjani Photo Log

My Journey up Ranjani: Part 4~ Day 6 & 7

Finally Bali for R&R
I wish R&Rs was longer
next time we promise to plan for a 3 day climb
and 7days R&R
lol

First stop: Daddy's Cafe
for a huge Aussie Brekafast
yums!



And we are off to the beach








Surfer-wanabees ;p



and to end it off
a surfer cafe for dinner


Pictures taken by a mabok photographer






and before we know it
its time to say goodbye
to our comfy hotel room



Thats it...
althou loads of other photos
make up this wonderful experience
i dont think they will ever be enough
to express all that i felt
;)


cheers to beautiful Bali
and to its friendly, hospitable people

Renjani Photolog

My journey up Renjani: Part 3~ day 4 & 5
Summmit Push -- View from the top




Summit Sunrise




In daylight ;) after a long hard push ..
the snot, the fustration, the fear of falling into black oblivion..
it was all worth it




Hiding from frigging cold wind at the top .. brrrrr..
Followed by a slow decent to admire the amazing view
and photo-whore ;p












and down we go .. to sunny Bali !!
surf, sand and shopping !
yummy

*short news flash*

yippy !
Rinjani(yes Mr.Po.. i hope im spelling it right this time ;p)
Photo Log Part 2 is out~
Partly due to lots of patience
and partly due to the fact that
ill rather do anything but my research work
at the mo.


soo please scroll a few posts down to see it :)


grrr
im feeling the side effects of the Dimox tablet
its suppose to help prevent AMS (altitude sickness)
however in saving me from headaches
im getting diarroea :(


soo as Eug says:
you want to lau sai or to have AMS?
hmm tough choice there
*scratch head*


Going to meet dians at the gym soon
*waves*
im feeling strong
after dance and rock climbing yest
but i wish i got more time to boulder more
;p there is a urgh to climb more
to exert more
to feel the burn in the arms
but looks like i wont get to do it until i come back from Kili
sobzzz


*sniff sinff*
yesterday i was hit by a certain fear
a fear that i have not bought enuf stuff for kili
i really dnt feel that i have
i feel ill-prepared
but limited funds calls for some sacrifice
i was gazing at my mummy's credit card
in my hands yesterday
it was so tempting to buy the whole shop
*sighz*


i hate the cold
i cant even tahan being in a air con room
of like 16 degrees


i was imagining myself
dying out there
in the snow
in africa
...
brrrrr....


i think i watched too many disaster movies
:(
but the fear is there
constant and nigging at me
...


*bah*

i fear
i fear
i fear


but when i express the fear to people
it sounds trivia
like in hot sultry Sinagpore
the idea of freezing to death
just cannot be fathom...


boo ..
i fear the unknown
but does the unkown fear me ?

Extremist

Met Robin for dinner yest..
and althou we dont meet up often
he still found a need to gripe
and pull a damper on the whole mood


Somehow .. we ended up talking about fashion
and he said clothes are now to the point of indecency
that women today are wearing clothes..
but still seem naked


while I try to point to the fact that
in the end we are born without clothes
and in fact the reason clothes came about
other than all the part about Adam and Eve
and the apple and the shame ...
was probably due to some powerful selfish man
who wants to keep his women to himself
and therefore went about dictating
that clothes should be worn for modesty


But what is modesty
why is it that we need to be ashamed our our naked selfs
the questions intrigues me
from a sociology point of view
but he refuses to be drawn into a discussion
on the evolution of society
instead
a he gave a tirade of how he knows many women out there
who chosses to dress modestly for their own sake
and how ..I .. tend to dress to the extreme


In fact it bacome a point of how ..
I tend to do everything to the extreme
OKAY ..
so apparently .. i dress indecently
i committe myself to too many things
i shop to extreme
i trek to the extreme
i work to the extreme
i throw caution to the wind and jump into things
and end up giving up on other things
~like our relationship


okayyyy
soo in the end everything is always about him..
but i was tired
it was a old arguement
and i felt very tired
after being put down so many times in one day


soo in the end ..
i am not capable
~just crazy
i do not have a good dress sense
~ just trashy
i do not have a balanced life
~ just selfish


THANK YOU .. i feel soo good as a person now...
he is SUCH FUN to be with
*wheee.. twirls fingers in the air*


i am quiet
i am tired
i am sick of people trying to judge
and i am begining to loose a sense of myself


do people actually think that lowly of me..
usually i dnt give a shit
but its times like these
that you reel back in shock
and wonder what does the world think of you


haiz.. *chants*
this is my space
this is my space
this is my space
*breath*

to see what we want to see.. to hear what we want to hear

while trying to load more of my Ranjani pics
I gave up halfway
the constant disconnecting of my comp
is making the process tedious..
shall do it when im more patient ;p
and more sleep ..


More thoughts have poped up
that requires some attention
before i forget abt them altogether
many "bonding" talks have been had
and as usual
its half gossipy and half personal
.. ;p


some have led to some insights
or in a way set the path to some cerebral activity
that linked certain abstract feelings together
to reach upon a point of conclusion
that can be safely said to be a new perspective


while helping a certain confuse young man
clear his many-segmented heart
i cant help but to reflect
on my own predicament
and the many subjects that come into play
i only thank god that i am not a guy


From the tahan ..
i can only say :
All guys want to be heros
its just who they choose to be heros to
~ so gals should stop complaining about the lack of heros
~ and wonder who will want to be their hero
but the problem with this age old game of love is that
in the end
everybody is just knocking on the wrong door
soo in the end we should all just take a step back and
and backtrack
then everything will be right ..
rigth?.....


if only life was so simple


give me just one night
to have him by my side
to bask in his essence
and keep him close by
but i had that one night
and now i noe that
it was not mine to take
and it had never ever been mine
~cloudy 3.40 pm .. walking stoned~


soo after sciccors curry rice
and yummy ah balling
and a long talk with De
through a disection of my inner psyhic
and of many others
i have come to a conclusion
finally
after soo long
that i am ready to close that final chapter
of a long over-due book
and throw it back to the return bin


as for u ....


i was hoping you would be a better man
but i think
in the end
all is just a dream
and i just want to wake up now


=according to De=
bec im soo strong..
and am kinda guy-ish
i need:
someone confident
capable in many ways
both in sports and in interlect
able to engage me in deeper reflections
and amuse me with a store of views and stories
i need someone i can respect
whom i can depend on
i cannot stand emotional dependency
and i must be sure that he is capable of
providing me with what I want in life in future


=i would say=
his analysis is pretty sport on
pehaps as an after-though
~ he needs to excel in at least one area...
a sport .. an area of academic...
~ he needs to be a confident driver
to like speed but yet have full control of his car
i think that tells alot of a guy
~ to be spontanous and never staid


looking at it all
seems like a tall order
i do not think guys like these are hard to find
but as i say
it all depends
if they want to be your hero
BUT ...if the guy is soo good
what makes him think he will want you
ahhhhh
therein lies the ultimate question
Am i good enuf..?


whatdo yah think babes ??
am i asking for too much ..
*ponder.. ponder*


i know i have bore u all long enough
and soo i shall no longer dwell on such a
ego-manic topic
for i am NOT high-EMO
*according to Mr. Po:
it means~ requiring high emotional support*
lol


chaus
~to bath.. to climb .. to eat
if only life is always soo easy ...

Ranjani photo log

My journey up Rinjani: Part 2~ Day 3 and 4

DAY 3: UP TO POST CAMP 1 AND NIGHTWALK DOWN



A 6am wake up call to catch the sunrise...




Got scratched by some plant and developed an allergic reaction...
so the first day past in a haze of pain, anti-histamin and wozzy head






Hungry Ghosts and morale food ;p




our porters had at work feeding us ;)




Our very own nature spa..






ahhh a waterfall beside a hot spring ..
what more can we ask for... :)
although the night walk to this campsite was super crappy
there were times in the night..
when you are exhausted.. wet.. cold.. slipping in mud.. perilously hanging for your life..and you wonder... when are we going to reach our destination


~life's like that


and our amazing campsite>>>
dawn broke ..and reveled to us
the magnificent visage






our wonderful tents ..
which are always pitched with sleeping bags and pillow
set out for us whenever we reach a campsite






Loch Ness Monster Sighting in Rinjani Lake..*wooo*




Wananbe photographer...
*i remembered to take the camera cover off okie ;p*




Getting ready for another long day of trek
our guide..who taught me berhasar indonesia..
and german and french .. all in an indonesian accent
half the time it all sounds the same to me..


and who half-proposed to me..
scared the living daylights outa me..
which was the reason why ..
i stop walking in front by myself..
and hid behind Heng the rest of the way... lol


thats all for now .. view from the top ..
coming soon ;)

Rinjani photo log

My Journey Up Rinjani: Part 1 ~ day 1 and 2


DAY 1: AUSTRALIAN AIR to Bali



I love airplane food .. ;) Spinach lagsana and the best buttery pastry .. which *sniff* i donated to heng .. bec he doesnt take veg! bah


From Bali we took a marathon road trip of a 3 hr bus ride to the Ferry, 5 hours Ferry ride to Lombok and a 2 hours bus ride to our hostel.. all the while I was concussed due to the anti-motion sickness pill i ate .. Zzzzzzzz




DAY 2: JOHN'S ADVENTURE HOSTEL


Althou shaged out .. the best welcome was waiting for us..



Banana pancake! yums.. with sweet pineapple and hot lemon tea...
it was to be our stable breakfast for the rest of the trip
but whos complaning ...
Lets not forget our cute band .. who played for us as we ate...
they were great.. althou with a limited song list..
they can beat the Singapore Idols flat..
even their indo pop songs sound good ;)




after lunch .. we went on a short trek to 2 waterfalls ..
magestic but freezing... brrrr







thats it for now.. the following days will be the real trek.. and as they say.. the adventure never ends...

*laters*

Long Live Disco !! ;p

===jaslyn, your closet's inspired by the '70s =====

Are you feeling hot? Because it looks like you've got disco fever! Even if you don't have a passion for platform shoes, you've got a lively and fun look that's right in step with the '70s.

Disco darlings knew how to hustle up outrageous outfits from tight leisure suits to big, bold butterfly collars. And a fun, life-of-the-party girl like you isn't afraid to take risks and stand out either. You may enjoy hitting the town in something more modern like a metallic dress, sky-high leather boots, or humungous hoop earrings. No matter what, you've got that special '70s something that makes everyone feel like dancing. Groovy, baby!

==================================================

lol
i cannot imagine that ...
Am i that retro ...
;p

in times of doubt.. duck *quack*

i sense there is talk about me
but i just dunoe about what
too many small-hearted people
with too little things to occupy them
perhaps


nobody ever asks me anything
i am always the last to know
if something is about me
shouldnt they
as Yun Feng so rightly puts it
get the answer from the horse's mouth
perhaps people dnt expect the truth from me


do i look that dishonest
or do i look that fierce
.....
only the ravens know
and the vultures wait and watch
for the bodies to fall
and then they pick their meal
in a corner
hurriedly before the hyennas come
the social hieracy works that way...


life is too short
to bother about talk



unless its a true communication
between 2 humans
that enriches the soul
and bring us closer together


my heart beated
plop .. plop .. plop
in huge big plops
as i stared into that face
those light brown eyes
why must life be soo complicated
sighz


sleep beckons
it will not be ignored
its time to say buenas noches
thank you for the shout-out
all the way from Barca
it really made my day





but of course

Bananas about bananas .. and pineapple and ect and etc..

chao dah yun
is peeling like mad
a walking pile of dead skin i am
leaving a trial of myself wherever i go
somehow that does sounds more romantic than it actually is


still reeling from a 2day whirlwind romance with Bali
the inner monster in me
grining my evil grinz
when i heard that it had been flooding (imagine that!)
in rainy Singapore
while we basked in the bright blue skys of Bali ...


While the trek itself wasnt all too hard
i had the bad luck of having an allegic reaction to some vegetation
and passed the first day groggy and weak
its fustrating not to be able to exert to your full potential
its like superman trying to fly
with cryptonite on his back
....
like poppey finding that the local mama-shop
had ran out of spinach
....
like batman
having heat rash in his skin-tight rubber suit


the depressing situation was made worse with a night trek
that saw us trugging along narrow clifffaces
with almost no light
our weak and weary limbs wobbling along
steep cliff faces


it was times like those that i begin to appreciate
the things i was made to go through in OAC
we never really belived in the bullshit
of activities to train our night confidence
of methods to train initiative and preparedness
and then BAM!
... all those bullshit dnt seem soo bull after all


The first day of muddy paths had given way to nice Alpine terrain
and a hot spring bath to start the day
it is amazing to bath under hot water flowing right from a crack in the mountain
while a waterfall sprayed icy mists just beside the hot spring pool
the experience is hmm.. like you are lounging in nature's spa
how cool is that ;p


the last push up the Ranjani summit at 2am
was hmm....
a test of personal mental strength
and as i stumbbled up loose stones
with the guides far in front
and everyone else far below
their headlamps
little specks of lights wavering slowly in the deep dark night
and the wind holwing at me
as i sat on a rock to rest
i felt the desolateness
of being alone
in the darkness
with no where to go but up


time to time
i would hear swearing floating up from down below
and as i fall on all fours
trying to grad a hold
in the constantly shifting stones
one wonders
how nice it would be to give up
....
give up .. give up ..give up
echos in the wind


anywaz.. giving up is never an option
and we should never consider it even in life
just have enough common sense to know when its smart to back off
backing off is not giving up
dnt let your ego tell you otherwise
backing off is just living ot fight another day
*smiles*


on the last day in Lomok
met a really interesting polish guy at my hostel
a fleeting aquiantance
but enriching none-the-less
a huge-hulking blonde
with arms bigger than my thunder thighs
holding on to olden values
and a love for the outdoors
he lectures on the sociology of fashion
and plans events for car shows
and makes use of summer breaks to travel
snow boards, pratices muay thai and played rudgy competitively
he has broken about every possible bone on the left side of his body
and yet
he loves to do what he does


it makes me wonder if i should just persue my interests
my passions
and not be too bothered about
societal status and all that crap
..
but still
at the end of the day this little girl
just wants to return to warm open arms
with a nice bed to snuggel into



maybe i should be a pet::
=========== jaslyn the instant companion ===============


comes with a wide array of wardrobe and accessories
- LV bags, ipod nano, Aldo shoes...
can be anything you want
from Jungle Jaslyn to Nerdy Jasly to Sexy Secretary Jaslyn
just groom her, feed her and show her some affection once in a while
and she will be the best companion as and when you need some TLC
speaks in 3 languages *comes with purring options*
shake well before opening
batteries not included

=================================================================

my Colourgenics profile

You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

and soo a little window of my heart closes

me: Boo
he: hi


and that was all...


there is nothing more..



i think he is lost forever ....


and so
i guess
perhaps its the closure im looking for ...


finally


never ever ever



again

Burn the floor and my tummy

This post is backdated to 23rd April 2006
due to the incapability of the writer
who pressed "save as draft" instead of "publish post"
the writer apologises for her general "pah-jiao-ness"
which is partly due to the general confusion of mutli-tasking
of packing, writing, eating, watching tv and trying to juggle the naggings of 2 parents at the same time....



Burn the Floor
followed the basic rule of entertainment
: Sex sells
soo basically there will lots of boobs
bare chest
six packs
tight leather
and skimpy shorts


and in between
there are more staid ballroom numbers
which meant the show volley between
fast paced sex moves
and slow paced ballroom
but all in flashy cabaret style
with 1
I repeat 1 volcalist
soo it felt like a solo concert instead...


haha
oh my
ahh welll
it wasnt too bad actually
entertaining
and robin bought the tixs
which is sweet
and we saved a bomb
because while we had off-side seats
when the show started
audiences at the sides were allowed to move to better center seats
it pays to be prudent
or at least it pays robin to be prudent
for i am never prudent
it is not my middle name
it is infact
not in my vocabulary
;p


nah im kidding
i have my moments of weaknesses
for i enjoy life and the sweetness that it blesses upon us
like good sahsimi, Godiva chocolates and LV bags
but practicality is my middle name
until it comes to shoes...
which is not a neccessity
it is a life-style....
an art form
to allivate us from the blandness
of plain old boring flats ;p
poo


anywaz...
schools over and the partying that i promised myself
dint quite turn out thr way i wanted it to be
but ahh well
life is unpredictable
i mean
i am unpredictable ;p


my internal systems took a major overhual
and i basically puked
like i have never puked in my life
in front of people i barely knew
who hopefully
will not remember a single thing
perhapes 20 years from now


i dnt wana be walkign down the road one day
all chic and self confident
and someone goes
" hi! arent u the gal that mer-lioned at er jun's..
hahah we call it the night of Exorsist"


burghhh
*pukes green slime*
anywaz.. packing for Ranjani now
hope for a good trek
and a even better get holiday at Bali
i can hear the beaches calling meeeee
*whooosh*
sun, sand and surf...
here i come ;p

At last.. i am fulfilled

* Life of Pi*
by Yann Martel


After starting this book in the middle of the term,
I have finally managed to finish it
it was an amazing journey
through an unbelivable adventure
of an incredible person
an Indian boy named after a French swimming pool
whos father owns a zoo in a small French-controled area
of the British empire India
and who managed to survive a shipwrek in a lifeboat
with a full-size-male-bengal-tiger
and a hyena
and an orangutan
and a zebra
and many cockroaches
and flies
and sharks swimming ard hungrily outside
and a carnivoreous island
and ...
you get the picture

Its a wonderful and whimpsical tale of
a boy
with a love for animals and religion
both of which managed to save his life
in a situation which would have killed others


while the book had a wonderful rambling start
giving us a romantic portrait of a man
which is easy to like
whose courage we look forward to read and admire
however the end
somehow seemed darker
and you wonder
about the origins of the story
about how humans
can be personified into animals
and what is the line
seperating the truth for fantasy
it perhaps draws some association to the book Animal Farm


and that caused some kind of dissapointment in me
for I would rather belive in a whimpsical ending
a fairtale ending
then wake up with a splash of cold water
and realised it was all just a figment of an imagination
but still not wanting to spoil anybody's read
I shall say no more
it is none-the-less
a wonderful book
and I totally agree with Pi
on his view of religion
embrace all
for as long as the gods bring you closer to
to nature
and lfeel ove
~the all emcompassing love
for mankind
for yourself
... it is good enough
there is no best religion
there is no singular religion
for arent all religions borne on the believes of men


keep an open heart
that is something no amounts of chicken soup can give you :)

and i shll end with the pic of us being trapped on the train tracks
while a train comes rushing down at us





~ yeah rights ;p


but beside the bukit timah railway tracks lies
a very nice italian restaurant~Valentino
*will keep a mental note*

ciao

westside boys... ohhh Bernado..

i am finally not a student..
well not exactly
for arnt we suppose to be students all our lives
u should never stop learning
blahblahblah
ahh well


okie
let me rephrase that
i am finally not a undergrad


and soon
ill be a bonafide graduate
with a degree to boot
and .....


ill never be able to use my bus pass
ill never get student discounts
ill never get to mug like shit and sleep 2 hrs everyday
ill never get the sneak coffee into the library everyday
ill never get to wrek my brains about what to eat for lunch everyday
(its also either kopitiam or kopitiam or kopitiam)
ill never get to play yahoo games during boring lectures
ill never get to check out cute guys in betwwen classes
just when the guy population is actually increasing....
damn
ill never
ill
i


yeah ..
as amazing as it sounds
ill actually miss SMU
miss the crazy rush for projects
the sleepless nights
the coffee highs
the days spent wasting my time away at pick and bite
like i have all day
while a report waits to be written
just because i can ..


addios


But for now..
its partying time!!!
woohoo
had jap food galore and went into movies overdrive


next week:
will drink and make merry every night
everybody repeat after me..
tues: wine party
wed: mambo
thurs: nines sports bash
friday: MOS.. perhaps
or maybe some quiet time
with people whose company i enjoy ..


before i go to torture myself again
on the mountains of indonesia
on sunday
lalallalalal
which is thus not a good idea to wear my knees out with all the dancing
but ahh well
shall take it all in one druken step at a time
i cant wait to get abit sloushed
and dance till dawn


and with the sending of my last report
my pms ended
amazing
and i am now happier
and chocolates no longer rule my mind
amazing how our lives are controled by blood flow
guys are control by which of their heads they think with
depending on the blood flowing upwards or downwards
girls are controled whether they are happy or cranky montly
also depending if the blood is flowing upwards of downards


i think humans will be more efficient ccreatures
if our lives are not thrown into such havoc


anywaz..
had saw alot of blood and gore with
the movie "Hostel"
i think it might have put some ppl off back packing in eastern europe
for a looonggggg while
Quienten Tarantino is the master of gore
i like the way he views revenge
very old school
~an eye for an eye shit..


Revenge is also part of the theme for Westside Story
its like a broadway classic
~ with the usual .. gang of local boys agaainst
the gang of migrant boys
and 2 people from the opposite gangs falls in love
a guy and a girl
of course
duh


A La Romeo and Juliet
lots of dancing
and singing
and more singing..
and a hot spanish hunk
as Bernado
the brother of the said juliet "Maria"
who got killed by her romeo "Anton"
who got tipped off wrongly by Maria's good friend
and Bernado's girlfriend "Anita"
that "Chino" the guy Maria is suppose to marry
had killed her out of anger after finding out about them
which wasnt true
but Anton got killed by "Chino" in the end anaywaz
and in the end everybody was sorry ...

ahh sounds complicated doesnt it
lol


ahh well the story is kinda cliched
somebody must always die in the end
but i guess
when it was first shown
it wasnt such a cliche
soo given that
i must say i troughly enjoyed it
although the seats werent soo good
and i spent half the time
hanging out of the balcony trying to watch it
for a moment there
i wondered if i fell onto the audience
could they cushion my fall


but it was my virgin esplande play and
i must say its like worlds apart from the victoria theater
and the small theaters in london
which i visited
posh posh posh
no wonder there is no theater viewing culture in Sinagpore
it just looks too intimidating


right now i feel like a hot chocolate
boo
more chocolates
..
ahh well
i guess
chocolates has nothing to do with
....pms
lol


*a hug to everyone*
for completing the exams
still in one piece

Thats HOt .. *muacks*

jaslyn, your lips say you've got Feisty Flair

We're not just paying you lip service when we say you have bold style and a bright spark that shines through in everything you do. You love taking risks, from sporting a wild fashion trend to spicing up your life with salsa dancing or cooking classes.

A firecracker like you is never afraid to turn up the heat. So, it's no surprise that you use your lips to say "Yes" to most of life's exciting opportunities. And that's why your friends are always wondering what you're going to try or say next. It's part of what makes you so much fun to be around. Now that's spicy!

finally my first 8 hours of sleep for the year
* applause*!!!!


intoxicated i was
even with the stench of sweat
i could hardly breath .....



breath girl .. breath ..
for he is not worth it ;p

long live Italia..

The Italians reallly noe how to eat
thats what i tot as i walked home
something which i badly needed
as the food fought to be digested in my tummy ;p


had dinner with deming at nice quaint italian rest.
the deco is kischy..
with what seems to be clothes hanging from the ceiling
and renassiance pictures.. pasted on the walls
and mannequins.. dressed in lace.. and pearls
reallly cool
and the person attending to us
was guess what
a hot italian hunk!
woohoo
my eyes lit up as we entered
apparently its family-runned
he greeted us at the door..
and basically he did everything
from sitting us down
to serving us
to sending us out
ahhh... i smiled my best smile .. ;p
soo hard to find good service nowadays *winks*


hmmmm...
~buschetta with amazing tangy, spicy tomatoe and sardine toppings
~crab meat soup.. bursting with flavor
~squid ink raviolli with crab meat filling.. *amazing*
~fried calamari with fresh salad
~creamy tiramisu with sweet, warm apple pie
accompanied by light white wine ....


ahh this is life
if only meals were like that everyday
maybe i can marry into the family ..
and run a restaurant
lol
how fun
like from some movie..
if only there is the mafia involved ;p
like the Sopranos
hmm.. i always wanted to be a triad boss..
well that or at least the triad boss's wife ;p


its seems to be a week ..
no make its 2 weeks of indulgence
with JB seafood dinner
which in itself is unspeakable sin
where every single chelesterol and fat group is featured
its like they all queue up and wait to be ingested and
take their righful place on ur body ;p


urghssss i can imagine them smirking as we stuff ourselves with them
"ill have dips on her waist" ..
"nono i want her love handles..
i see lots of nice fats there to keep me company"
bleah
evil thoughts
evil thoughts


hmmm at least we worked out at the trek for a bit
Panti was boring as expected
but the nigth at the peak was kinda fun
all thanks to er jun and melvin lugging up beer and wine all the way
beer brings everybody closer together..
lol


its the international ice breaker
soo .. before the dinner was even done
we were all very happy people
and not minding how wet we are..
taking silly photos ..and singing


i mean.. sitting around a fire and singing!!
how campfire~nostalgia
but could feeel a little age gap
when we were singing chinese songs
the others are singing
theme songs from disney
...
i mean..
disney...??


okie ..haha but it was fun larz
and i shd not be an old fart
i hummed along when i could anywaz
and i had the best sleep in like weeks
even thou i slept at 3am
and the wind was blasting cold
long live army jackets!!
i was warm and snug in dreamland
thank you bk
i hoep u were not TOOO cold...


well we had milo heart to heart talk..
well not my heart anywazz..
heee
its good to be one of the guys
great i am officially the 8th guy gg to Renjani
woohooo *twirls fingers in the air*
;p


maybe that why i cant find a guy
lol
cause they cant find me!
ahh what brilliant deduction
clever Einstien Jas
now start figuring why its an apple that fell on newton's head
and not a pear


go figure....


*today ended a little dissapointingly..
i knew i should have been more proactive
i noe i can do it
....
but i depended on teh others too much
and soo in my lull of complacency
i think we left a bad impression
sighzz..
a little A flutters outa window :(
byebye.......
parting is such sweet sorrow
noo actually its not sweet
its been very bitter :P *

boo
blue
low morale
lowwwwwwwwwwww morale

The Curtain Falls

and where is my encore ?

when i finally finished my last presentation
it was only of resignation..
uncomfortable relief
for while all is over..
i would have wished to end my 4 years of SMU life
with a bang of a presentation
you noe ..
like a grand finale
the dramatic death scene that
moves everyone to a standing ovation


but alas
with onli 2 hrs for sleep
for the past 4 days
all we could puke out
was alot of blood and sweat and tears
and last nights dinner..
never have i felt soo close to
giving up in my life
- the F* it
and give in slipshot work..


but in the end..
we somehow pulled through
i have to thank my group mates..
esp to Kayboon for pulling the advertising project through
while we are like 2 indecisive sods
he has managed to pull the ppt through with amazing work
I have amazing respect for ur craft
come lets sing it with me
" R-E-S-E-E-C-T .. hmhmhmhmhmhm"
okie that is all i remember of the Diana Ross song


anywaz..
as the curtain falls
its still kinda surreal
i somehow dnt feel like i have done 4 years of work
and certainly dnt feel like a professional yet
ahh well
soo where is my encore ??


- i should be packing for my trek-
and i will .. :)

+attack of the 60 ft nerves+

the post that i was typing for the past hour
was mercilously murdered by my computer
when it disconnected as i was loading


so in memory of my labour of literrary effort
lets have a minute of slience
for something whose life
was soo aruptly cut short
even as it was entering the world


damn it i hate my computer
grrrrrr
*roars in despair*

now you all will never know what the title mean....
bawahhahhaah

~ sleep ~

had a solid 11 hours of sleep
well not too solid
i konked out by 11pm
woke up with a start at 6am
fell back asleep
and dreamt weird lurid dreams
that made me scratch my head
when i woke up again at 8am
dragged myself to the bathroom
but in the last moment
just as i was about to step in ....
i did a jerk-turn
and jumped into my parents bed
and back into the sweet arms of the sandman
till i finally got woken up by the another strange dream
at 10am


*wheew*
what a work out even before i even officially woke up
dreaming seems more tiring
for i was still sleepy the whole day
with one leg stuck in dreamland


my eye-bags gave me a scare
when i looked into the mirror
and i thought ..
this doesnt look like one who has slept for 11 hours
what had happened ?
i think all those dreams
kept my brain running on over-drive
soo technically i have a deficite
of 11 hours of non-sleep
:(
booo




i demand a refund from the sandman!!!
*shakes head*
nobody sleeps for 11 hours and look like a POW..
~ who hasent slept since the war started like 2 decades ago...
~ surving only by eating her nails
There must be QC !!


Hopefully will have a better week ahead
im looking forward to some pampering
and maybe some HOT french eye candy
courtesy of Melva ;p
you go girl...!
....and since its my pimp daddy's big day this week
this is dedicated to him :P
hehehe!



regardless of where i am heading
i hope it is in the final direction
of happiness


~ i am slowly forgetting ~
maybe not forgetting
but at least
i am no longer pining
no longer hopeing
no longer dreaming
of any possibility
with you


soo fly away little bird
you are free to go
to wherever you please
to roam the world
and maybe ...
hopefully ...
when you had your fill of the world
you will fly back to me
and tell me all about your adventures
and i will be happy
to listen and nodd in wonder


*farewell*

=roller coaster ride=

=I am on a rollercoster ride=
a week of highs and lows


the stress was getting to me
that i had the worst possible migrane ever
my eyes hurt soo bad
i wanted to yank them out
to sit in a corner and cry them out
to stick my pen into them stake my brain out
anything to stop the searing pain
burning right behind my eyes


people says im a superwoman
well i guess superwoman has her bad leotard days too
;p


but still there are the highs ..
*sleeping more
after surviving on less than 3 hrs on average


*we won 2nd place in the tri-challeng !!
my power team of shaun and ben
ben was a trooper ..
giving us a lead of second place
even thou he was down with food poisoning
i loveeeee my teammmmmmm ~~!!
my second medal from the school
i am soo loving my last year of uni
if onli it will never end ....
but i do wish my thighs will stop aching
*groanzz*



*Manda's 21st party at Westin was ..
R-rated at times lol
i cannot believe the things our caderas guys can come up with
i will never ever look at a Y-string the same way again
the whole thing is caught on film lol
maybe we can slip it out
it shall our very own SMU video
i hope dear manda
had fun ...
which is the most important
you can only be 21st once
but u can be only 22, 23 ,24 .. once too
soo yah


*finished our performnce for SMU Open House
while i had said im perfectly happy to dance without a partner
it really gave me a sense of achievement
to have danced the Ran Kan Kan with kevin
he is a really sweet darling partner
i thank him for his guidance
thinking back at where i started out
when i barely knew any salsa last term
i felt it did come some way
while im still far from being good
it still gave me a buzzz
the adrenaline during the performance
~when ceolho throws me high into the air
and i land with a smile on my face
....priceless


And the lows
*a dip in my blipping day
i guess im not sad
just more jumbled
for when feelings are put to words
its hard to ignore pure facts
but at least
there is no vacumn occupied
by things left unsaid
that hangs in the air
like a heavy fog


the bubble of a fastasy world cannot last forever
*plop*
it will go one day


we are both lost souls
may we find a compass soon
for the river cannot meander forever
but for now
lets enjoy the journey and take in the view


i remember a question thrown at me by my JC teacher
in an interview for leadershp positions in my CCA
they asked:
if you are in a boat on a fast flowing river
and you reach a junction
one way brings you to a deadly waterfall
while the other brings you to ur destination
you team is certain its one way
while you are sure its the other way
so now
what will you do ??


-what i said-
given the lack of time to have a discussion
i will insist on my way
and then explain to my team mates
the reasons for my choice later


what would you do ??


* a little good feeling for the day*

Jasmine


Which Disney Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

-never again-

the sanctity of this blog has been violated
i feel somehow violated
is there something call blog molestation?


how will i ever want to write in it again
to paint the pictures in my mind
although they might not be a word by word replay of my life
every word i write
is a representation of my musings
blue as it may seem sometimes
it is still my beloved mind


i did not write whatever i write as a cry for attention
i did not publicised it with loud neon words shouting "read me"
it is a place for mi to share my thoughts with my friends
and whoever who chance upon it by fate
who hopefully will be rewarded with something that i can offer
my own perspective


trust is of the utmost importance to me
and if there is no trust
there is no point


everything must have a point
even in paintings
there is a always a point of reference
or the painting will seem flat
without depth
or perspective
2D is not how we want to live our lives
do we?


so should you actually try to pry again
to sneak a look at my conversations
that you are not privy to
and invade my privacy
then let me say
i am sorely dissapointed
and there is no point
for i do not like flat paintings


i do not wish to self-censor
any more than i already am doing
please give me the space
to paint my own pictures
regardless of how they turn out to be
for i want to be an artisit
at least in my own world


free is the expression of oneself
the freedom to fly beyond our earthly bounderies
but should there be chains
pulling us down with responsibilities
than we will all be like the collector's butterflies
pinned on a display
beautiful
but only for the pleasure of others

-the mysterious black hole-

last week was one of little sleep and alot of acne
the two go hand in hand
like the best of friends

however, one huge advertising presentation was nailed
the professor sent us an email
the client team - it was a good presentation


woohoo!!
now everybody can celebrate ;p


but i wonder..
the email seems pretty short
to the point..
soo was it curt and dismissive ?
or is it the german in him that make this email lack certain warmth


soo isit a ..
passable - good
okay - good
wow! - good
or
im soo impressed im speechless - good


i hope it was the last
but he doesnt look impressed
although i havent seen him look impressed
so i wouldnt know how that looks like
*rolls eyes*
maybe its the advertising industry
god-forbid if people see you looking impressed
then u will loose ur edge
such is the poker face world in which we live in


i wonder if that is the industry i wana work in
i wonder who will want me..
hmmmm
but now a job is not the most pressing problem
because
............



i forgot to file for graduation!!
lol
die .. im a such a blur f*
i should be shot
or maybe at least be given an organiser
a cute hot PA would be even better
one who speaks in many languages
and comes in a variety of clothes to match every occasion
i can bring him everywhere
*dreams*....


but i should stop dreaming
and come back down to the real depressing world
because
right now
i am not hired
my A*s are not comfirm
my dean's list is hanging on a precarious tread
i am single, dateless and undesirable
i have a no money to shop
i cannot clear my 80 hours


but actually its not about the clearing of hours that im sad about
its not being able to go
its my dream to trek in alpine conditions
and ... well
only sabrina knows why im really sad..


but i will have to quit dance to go
how does a girl decide :(
howhowhowhowhowhow....


there is still that emptyness
that struck soo suddenly today
i sit and wonder
and hurt
a little blue blinking tab on the msn
made it slightly better
but still
bitter sweetness
is not my favourite flavour

Food for Thought - a fallacy that we are all guilty of

By nature, humans have trouble with 'becomings'. Our minds attach labels to things in the surrounding world, and we interpret those labels as discontinuities. If things have different labels, then we expect there to be a clear line of demarcation bewteen them.


How many times have you been in a discussion in which somebody says "We have to decide where to draw the line"" For instance, most people seem to accept that in general terms women should be permitted abortions during the earliest stages of pregnancy but not during the very late stages. "Where you draw the line", thou , is easily debated - and of course some people wish to draw it at one extreme or other. There are similar debates about exactly when a developing embryo becomes a person, with legal and moral rights. Is it at conception? When the brian first forms? At birth? Or was it always a potential person, even when it 'existed' as one egg and one sperm?


The 'draw the line' philosophy offers a substantail political advantage to people with hidden aggendas. The method for getting what you want is first to draw the line somewhere that nobody would object to, and then gradually movie it to where you really want it, aruguing continuity all the way. For example having agreed that killing a child is murder, the line labelled 'murder' is then slid back to the instant of conception; having agreed that people should be allowed to read whichever newspaper they like, you end up supporting the right to put the recipe for nerve gas on the Internet.


If we were less obsessed with drawing labels and discontinuity, it would be much easier to recognize that the problem here is not where to draw the line: it is the image of drawing a line is inappropriate. There is no sharp line, only shades of grey that merge unnoticed into one another- despite which, one end is manifestly white and the other equally clearly black. An embryo is not a person, but as it develops it gradually becomes one. There is no magic moment at which it switches from non=person to person- instead, it merges continuously from one into the other.


- qouted from the Science of Discworld by Terry Prachett, Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen- Terry: while he writes about fantasy, his stories are always insightful about the true nature of human behaviour and the laws of society.


While as children
adults find a need to help us understand the world
by simplifying things into black and white
but as we grow
and learn
and experience
we should have learnt that the world
is never in monochrome


Instead it is alive, vivid
painted in many different colours
Just like in the movie "Pleasentville"
While colours bring about confusion and uncertainty
it makes life soo much more rich and textured


Life is not just about shades of grey
i feel
Life is filled with a riot of shades and tonnes and light
and we as Men and Women
should live through these colours
and stop worrying about
'Drawing The Line'

compulsion..

My my.. i had my fill of intense men these past few days
Joaquin Pheonix, Eric Bana, Ralf Fiennes, Jake Gyllenhaal..
Robin..;p
It must be the highest concentration of movies
i had ever watched in such a short span of time


But the most intense award definatly goes to Joaquin Pheonix
He was up to his usual brooding antics in walk the line
but he had applied himself with such craft that
there were times when i see the agony in his eyes
and i could feel myself falling in love with him


Therein lies my problem..
why does my heart goes out to Joaquin?
Do i like my men constantly suffering??
Those men in constant turmoil with themselves
who have too many inner demons to deal with
that it shows in their eyes..
the haunted soulful look ..


Looks like I must have some serious issues man...


Anywaz Munich is great great story
told from a different perspective
about the long-standing war between Israel and Palestine
I have never been a fan of Eric Bana
Always thought his body has always been too bulky to fit his face
Especially for The HULK *gag*
But his gaunt look in Munich becomes him.
And I must say the grey-tinted lighting
and the stylish costumes
have made a fan out of me...


And somehow the movie has given me the urge to cook
no other movie has given me such compulsion since
some long-forgotten ..
straight-to-video ..
Sarah Michelle Gellar's movie
on the magic of cooking


I think its the constant sceenes of Eric cooking
huge meals for his assasination team..
and how they bond over meals
good food unifies the world
If everybody sits down over a meal
anything can be settled ;p


if only...


hmmm... maybe i should go food shopping:
mozzarella cheese, smoked salmon, pesto sauce, pasta, portebello mushrooms..
bell peppers, rocket lettuce, pumkin, spinach...
hmmm i can see the menue in my mind already..
ahh but now my stomach callls
and no amount of imagination can satisfy it
soo it will be bah pao for now ...


the sight of shore moves further away... the sands have shifted.. everything has changed .. but i cannot control it... powerless is what i feel.. helplessness... maybe not...

Brokeback Casanova

A love story that should not be told
Not for the squeemish or the homophobic
But seeing 2 guys make out is both
cring-worthy and yet sexy at the same time
so thats how i ended up with 1 eye closed and 1 eye opened
for the whole show ;p


even with a starbucks mocha valencia in one hand
i could actually feel the cold bealkness of Brokeback
Althou i think the feezing aircon played a huge factor
hmm


maybe it was an agreement between the movie studios and the cinemas
: *you blast the aircon higher when screening our movies soo that the audience can really experience the show..*
soo next time you watch a show about the Sahara
dnt be surprised to start sweating ;p
or feel ur feet wet when u watch a show about flooding
that would be cool
:: the ultimate movie experience
:: almost as real as being in the movie ;p


but that somehow seems to be cheating on the director's part
then it wont require much cinematographical genius to engage the audience
and to make them feel for the movie


But i digressed
like i always do ;p


I can really relate with the movie in a sense
i could understand how the extreme elements in the wilderness
can bring people closer together
its like when i go for the extremely tough treks
even though we are only together for a week
but feelings can be intense
not that i actually wanted to french dian liang or meiling at any point in time
lol
althought there were points of dispair
when you just feel utterly in need of human affection
to remind you that you are
only human....
when i really wanted to devour the person beside me ..
maybe i was just feelign hungry i guesss ..
hahahaha
just is highly likely ...


since im constantly hungry when on treks
I should go more often
its the only time you can eat as many chocolates as you want
and not worry about gaining weight
not when you are worrying if you can survive the next upslope ;p


Incidentally i watched Casanova
which starred *Heath Leadger*
(no i do not know how to spell..thanks you very much) too.
His persona was soo differnt in both films that I was ready to give him an Oscar at the end of the show.
but it is not mine to give ..of course
although it was a little cliche
a little disney-like-fairy-tale-ending
a little silly
but still
entertaining and sweet
awww..


maybe because we have all heard the storyline before
~the feminist falling for a don juan with
and the don juan giving up his philandering for true love..
yeahyeah
maybe we are all jaded


there was a report about how some korean art students staged a play
- a fake marriage on a train
aimed at inspiring people ~ touching their hearts
reminding them on the beauty of romance
there was a huge outflow of support for the supposed "couple"
but when the truth was out
the backlash was twice the magnitude
the koreans felt cheated and that the students should haev staged it at a theater or sumting...


Sighz
come on
cant they see that
their out pouring of support was a sign of success for the students
that they have managed to touch the hearts of others
and inspired many
that all the passengers on the train that day
have been touched in some small way
and their lives enhanced.
to have it played in the theather would not have the same effects at all
a waste


it is a pity that shows the closed mindedness of a society
the rigidnesss
the coldness
bah!


i wonder how would singaporeans react if it should happen here
probably they would react in the same way
but i sincerely hope that not all sinagporeans would be so
utterly void of imagination
that instead people would applaud such an amazing act of charity
that youths of today still would think of enhancing the lives of others
and only for themselves


i give my seats up to old ladies
yes
but my act of kindness
is nothing compared to vast amount of heart
that those stduents have
because that requires a differnt set of social conciousness
that great people posess


~a day of lazing but not a day wasted~ :)

Butterfly = Cho

From now on my geisha name is Hotomicho
hahahha
oh my..
my pimp daddy messaged me and ask mi to choose my geisha name
and i said Sukiyaki Yoshinoya Tempura


but he refused
says geisha arnt supposed to have food names
but I said I love sukiyaki!!!


after some harranging
i have decided on Hotomicho
Hotomi = double beauty
cho = butterfly
soo now im a beautiful butterfly


woo flutter flutter
i certainly dnt feel like one ;p
but one can live in the world of make believe..:)


He bought for his harem thongs for V-day!!
how sweet can it be ..
i am amused when i think of how he can walk into Topshop and
start picking up a bunch of tongs off the shelves ;p
what on earth were going through people's minds as they take sneaky peeks at him ....
hmmmm


Anywazz V-day is like christmas right
just that the gifts have a more consistent theme ;p
chocolates. flowers. thongs. chocolates. flowers. thongs.
;p
but i dint recieve any chocolates this year
which is good considering the amount of food i ate that day :(
It was good quality fats as my PE teacher once said
Foie Gras. rich pastas. chocolate deserts. wine.
after 2 full italian meals
a fruit diet the next day sounded amazingly appealing
but i love the rich flavor of the cusine
and the rich culture that permeates through the food


With Vik at Restaurante De Valentino..
the chef comes out and chat with his customers
Serves the food himself at times
Greets some of his guests with a loud "Bon Giorno"
soo addroable
he looks like a older, plumper , italian verison of Jamie Oliver
I guess if i eat his food everyday I would be that plump too ;p


Dinner with robin at Da Paolo was poshhh
a total opposite of Valentino
the crowd was yuppy-snooty
one lady sent her food back with just a
:" a fly landed here, send it back"
ohh myyy
u wonder with all that money
shdnt they learn to be nicer
or does money give you the illusion of power
and people like to abuse power :(


the day ended with a nice beach walk at east coast
which incidentally was very crowded
at 12 pm !!
and ice cream with baileys
a sinful day
but its meant to be right...
*winks*


On a seperate note
I must say it is soo sexy to see a guy in full control of his car
A guy driving manual at high speed on the roads is just such a turn on
lol


~thanks for all the flowers.. its feels like spring time in my room..~

*stawberry kisses for dl for being soo sweet for soo long... althou I cant be your valentine... i hope you will find someone to kiss with that sweet-lip-glossed-lips ;p*

Hmm *weird*

Thats weird ..
my last post was deleted..

Ahh well
I wonder..
maybe its a sign
he created a fuss after i went out for dinner yest
even thou he met uo with 2 gals
messaging me incessently
i think he is insecure
but he was the one who wanted to break up in the first place
to let us take some time off
to see if we see each other in the same future


seems like he sees me as more of a posession
that if he cant have me.
neither can other guys
scary ahh
i hope he doesnt go psycho on me


i think i attract pyschos
i wonder why
help...

psychopsychopsychopsycho....

Ting Hai * listen to the sea*

The sound of waves breaking
The starry night sky
Fireworks seen from afar
Luscious crabs for dinner
Walking along barefeet holding my heels
Chasing the waves..

It was soo peaceful
sitting there on the breaker
school seems soo far away
if only it came with a movie soundtrack in the backgroud
Ah Mei's Ting Hai would be good
But this is real life after all..


there were squiggles in the sand
written by people long gone
there messages of love
hearts doddled everywhere
safely out of the way from the swarming waves..
who knows how long the message will stay
it would be great to see it slow fade away ..
bits of sand moved by foorprints, wind and rain ..


Inspired by them ..
I took my heels
Bend down and wrote the first thing in my mind
Salsa...


then .. looking at it ..
i added
La Vida..


then decided to sign it off with Jaslyn ..


hmmm not very inspired i guess
and not a message of love
but could it be??


haha perhapes its my little love note
to rythm and passionate moves
and to the friends that i have made through it


My virgin salsa performance was a fleeting momemnt of glamour
but the performance high was amazing
the buzzz in your ears that keep u smiling
in front of friends and strangers


I might not be the most coordinated person
a kultz is more like it
but for a few precious moments
I felt like a DANCER
hahaha
its a foreign feeling
but i could get use to it ;p

~The pics took after the performance were hilarious
everybody trying to be sexy with the guys' hats
i think there is sumting about a hat
that makes you wana pose
or maybe its just me ;p

*will pose them up when i get them*
i am incorigible
maybe i was a pornstar in my previous life
lol


~more dancing tonigh~
woohoo !! Vday party at LADC
but im sure nothing can beat our wine party ;p

Confused

urghhh
lots of things happened during cny
and now im feeling pretty messed up


shall look for retail theraphy tomorrow
but i think somethings even shopping cannot cure
now im no longer love-sick
neither am i physically sick any more


im just feeling kinda sick
its that deep feeling at the bottom of your tummy
where you noe there are things you have done which you should not have done..
or should you ..
blah..
i dint really like myself very much at this moment


nonononono

Farewell ...

Goodbye
I dint get a chance to say i love you
but actually i have never had
neither did you


But in both our hearts
we know that we have a bond that is beyond words


I thank you for these 23 years of care
And for the wonderful childhood you have given me
the memories will last forever
deep in the burrows of my heart

goodbye grandad
I may not be religious
and I claim not to believe in life after death
But in my heart I really do hope
you will find happiness somewhere
with grandma by your side

I finally understand the deep eloquence of those 3 words
>>Rest In Peace


may you


for it is for the rest of eternity.....


* a quite pause please .. to reflect on our lives and recollect all those that we love and bask in the deep feeling of being loved ...*


I am not the type to say "I love you"
not even to my parents
I believe in actions more than words
soo take sometime today to spend a moment with your love one
even for just a moment
the deep sense of connection can transcend words

and S.H.E sang ~ you are only lonely...

The msn conversation went like this :


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~hehe still no Danna
~nobody want


Junyuan says:
~is not nobody want
~is nobody can afford


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~haha why
~not very ex what ;p


Junyuan says:
~really hahaha.. how much


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~haha err once in a while feed me.. buy me nice kimono..
~bring me out to watch sumo wrestling can liao


Junyuan says:
~hahahaha sounds reasonable


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~yah lor
~dunoe why pppl dun wan


Junyuan says:
~ppl blind


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~hahaha
~yea i guess.. many many blind ppl out there


Junyuan says:
~ALOT


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~u are not


Junyuan says:
~i have good taste


Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~yes definately ;p
~for that i will help u earn more $$


-------end-------------------------

I love my pimp daddy ;p
lol
okiezz..
seriously
why there are alot of blind men out there??
whywhywhywhywhy


they see you but they dont see you


when when when will they see...


i cannot wait all my life


i have been waiting all this time


*when will you look up into the sky and see me in the horizon..
before i fly out of view and out of your life*

AHhhh CHoooo!

Woke up to a huge sneeze today
Gzeee
What a rousing start to a day
my eyes refuses to open fully
my eyelids obstinately glued together
forcing me to move around the house half-blind


you know... one of those days...
when your mind is awake but your eyes remain stubbornly asleep
The constant battle between both
causes a series of bumps around the kitchen
while you try your best to function in semi darkeness.
Hopeing that its your toothbrush that you are using
and not one that is for cleaning the mold off the tiles..
Thats its coffee you are making
and not weird concoction of milo, salt and floor.


Those are the days when you would gladly go back to sleep with your eyes..
But alas ..
back on the computer doing research for Proton Cars
Soo exciting .. ;p
I could hardly contain my excitment
my hands are shaking


noo..
hmm i think its just the coffee
extra strong with a hug dash of milo
a heartlanders mocha ;p


We are supposed to do an advertising project on Proton
and I tell that to people
they laugh and say its hopeless
what encouragement ;p


They say: isnt that suppose to be a lousy Malaysian Car
yes we know that
and the challenge would be coming up with a rebranding effort for it
but they are like ..
But is a Malaysian Car !
okie enough said


the first spirit of fight and fire are gone
leaving us with abit of dejection
and a huge headache
good luck to us....


But nevermind me and kb shall perserver
and come out with something edgy for it
and we are suppose to slodge through it for the CNY
sooo much for a festive season


Maybe we can do a "ah beng" branding for it
and it will be the next EVO or Subaru WRX..
our tag line would be *Zng Your Car*
hmmmmmm


*had a serious moment outside my door yest*
I think someone is not very happy
to play such a small role in my life
but i really have no time !!


The past 2 weeks have been crazy
but soo many things happened ..


~Grand Openning: Days of hard work and time put in for 1 minute of fame
and even then ..
i could hardly keep the smile on my face
i dont think im a born performer
but nobody believes it when i say im shy ;p


But the rock concert after that was pretty fun
thou i think its the was voldka
and the beer


i tried to teach alvin, hoseng and bk to play drinking goggles
why i do not know too..
for i actually suck at drinking games..
but i found someone worse than me..
hoseng ..
heheh
good to feel unstupid for short while
but they always learn ;p
somehow guys pick it up faster
maybe im just slow ;p

I AM SLOW
hahahah
in Darwin's theory of the survival of the fittest
ill probably be extinct

but im not.
soo ..
hmm maybe i have evolve some other features of adpatation that i am unaware off
i wonder what they are
hmmm

okie.. dance beckons..
++ to be continued ++

* my heart skipped a beat*

damnnnn

Another insightful insight

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly
motivated. Sharp
thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves
attention. Deep
feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm
Standpoint. Needs no
motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left
brain). Loves to dream. Strong
clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in
the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts.
Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless.
Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift


What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla


which according to bk is rather true.. i agree with him ;p

* i wana slip into oblivion*

Sleeepy
but cant sleep
work to do
work to do


There is a fission of fustration
in my heart
I feel like yelling out loud
Enough is enough !!!


If only this world will fade away
but not to another day
to stay as it is while i contemplate
the reason for my state


I have an obsession that cannot be fulfilled
it eats into my very being
I just wana get drunk
and slip into oblivion


Depraved
for passion
untamed, unreigned, unrestrained passion
to consume my very being
and make me whole


GHM


~disclaimer: this is not meant to be a poem or a song or any form of artistic expression..those are best left to the experts or the seriously disturbed.. whichever comes first...
this is just the way i think ~

:: Rain before Dawn ::

:: Prologue ::

Heard some really sad news yest.
Althou i sorta suspected ..
but never thought of asking ..


:: Main ::

Ahh..
good things never last..
but as they say
is it better to own it once
than never to have own it before ??

~Lets all look forward to the next dawn

So do not fear the loss
For a forsaken sunrise
will lead to a regretful sunset

Regardless of how saddening a sunset may be
at least you have seen the beauty of a sunrise
and it might be enough ..
just


me..
I rather live in my world
where
for one moment
just one moment
everything is captured in a snapshot
in my mind... that would be enough

i hope

i am moving on..
keeping a snapshot in my alblum of many
perfect sunrises ...

for now


:: Epilogue ::

But can I do that for the rest of my live
living for each perfect snapshot
and then not owning it
fustrating
it is..

indecisive..greedy... weak
would be what my friends think

maybe..
maybe not


:: Author's Notes ::

~im just a photographer in the journey of love
care to pose for mi ?

~An apology to those who do not understand a feaking thing i was writing about..
(while i highly doubt that you will continue reading till this part of post)
Due to the sensitive nature of the issues touched upon ..
the author has decided to write in highly metaphorical sense
and also as Eric has pointed out..
i am poetic by nature.. ;p
yeah right
more like highly nonsensical by nature

Thanks to : Jeremy
who helped on the spelling of "Epilogue"
*However he holds no responsibility to other spelling mistakes in this post*
The author is just dyslexic by nature.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

OAC gathering

soo gald to see my OAC mates again..
this is the first gathering with the same number as the gals
which is amazing considering that we have 5 guys and 12 gals in the club ;p

and onli with them can i eat Seoul Garden ...
althou it wasnt particularly good food
but it has its memories .. :)

Journey to the MOS

Back in 2005 ..
for this blog took a longgg time to reach its intended destination...
residing under draft status
.. spending a lonely new years eve by itself ;(


>>
Ohh doesnt Christmas fill you up with such warmth and cheer
that you want to just give everybody a big huggg
...
yahh rightt..
depending on who is near u i guess ;p


Another christmas came and left
And somehow year by year the magic of Christmas fades
a pale form of what it was when I was small and christmas trees were tall
yeahhh
now im not soo talll ... and christmas trees are still very tall
i still cant hang the lights without help from a laddle ..;p


Christmas eve was spent hanging out with sab and cora ;p
planned to go MOS ..finally
BUT the queue was amazing
it defys logic..
it just wasnt moving
everybody just looked they have been standing there like.. forever
it seems as if everybody came at the same time
"whomp" and the queue just fell from the sky into place


To avoid spending Christmas eve waiting for in a queue ...
although the crowd looked like they were having loads of fun *rolls eyes*
we went ta MOMO ..
and they were playing christmas songs !!
urgh?! hello.. 10pm already..
but it was then the first tingle of the christmas warmth wiggled its way through my body
ahh.. finally some christmas spirit in my cold cynical heart ;p


But since no one was dancing .. we decided to walk back to Clark Quay
and galk at the queue at MOS
hopping for some eye candy
and maybe some kind .. but very foolish but still very cute soul
would invite us to join them in the queue ;p


Anywaz.. we noe how that would end up
for naught of course
;p
soo in the end we opt for having some munchies at TCC to while the time away
and we talked
and talked
and talked


and suddenly.. people around us were shouting
"Merry Christmas!!"
....
i guess the christmas crept up on us..
and we dint even noe it..
but it was a nice cosy way to spend it..
we then proceeded to party the night away at momo
getting picked up by some young .. er boys
hiaz..
some things never change ;p


>> Then .. with music still in our blood
we planned to go MOS on the following Wed..
but alas ...it was another failed attempt ;p
and we missed the whole gp of salsa ppl who went there..
dang..


>>finally ..
on Friday .. we decided to go by hook or by crook ;p
Had a salsa gathering at the beach during the day
and got gloriously suntanned.
First time having an actual potluck on the beach
Usually when ppl say they will bring food..
it usually consists mainly of chips ..;p
but surprise ..surprise
baked rice-nuggets-spring rolls-jelly-sandwiches-punch-pizza.
wowz.. im impressed.. and very full
my little contribution was corn chips, salsa, and squeeze cheese>>
a most ingenious piece of food technology .
who ever thought you can squeeze cheese outa can..
and into ur mouth .. hehe


plus.. short bursts of beach captain's ball and frisbee..
mixed in with a bit of rugby whenever possible ;p
swimming with rita
being fed stawberries by sabrina..
dancing salsa in the sand with fadz
what a rose-hued day
i cant wait to see the pics they took


MOS>> me, sab, cora, yunfeng, rita, joyce..
queued freaking 2 hrs to get in
and .. hmm...while the interior deco was amazing
them music left me wanting
1 word : uninspiring


>> News years day after
was a quiet affair ..
catching fire works at the padang
Sky flowers.. amazingly pretty
one of those things ..
that even wide screen tv cant convey its magnificence, its beauty, the scale of its enormity ...


2006 >> Soo when's the next party ??
School has been freaking busy
i think im soo gg to die this term
classes are competitive with demanding professors
gym has become an obsession that i cannot ignore
salsa practices are becoming a chore
cant wait to do muay thai again this week
itching to give the good old sandbag a whack
Loreal e-strat is tedious.. and getting boring
Loreal brandstorm has just began
Research work is piling up
Marketing for muay thai is taking up too much time
I am fighting a sugar craving that even willy wonka cannot satisfy
My heart .. is running on its own mind..
dragging a confused me along
yoyoing between sadness.. happiness.. hopelessness and whistfulness
my brain is still on holiday and refusing to come back
in conclusion .. im going .. bonkers


But whats new ;p


>> 1 last party before true mugging begins: Lights Out bash at MOS
Hopefully with R&B at the main dance floor..
it will be more bearable
plus with lots of other friends there
let it be happening..
pleaseeee.....

BORING BROWN

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Pah!.. i sound boring ;p hahhahah man.. i cant believe it

*Ambrosia*

I <3 celeste's aviators..

My try at being lao dah .. with sabrina as my ..ermm mistress??? hahhaha

Pride and Prejudice

Pride complicates matters
it brings upon
words that shouldnt have been said
sliences that should have been filled
actions that should not have been taken
things that we should have done


and most of all regret


If you are lucky enough,
like Elizabeth Bennet
you get to remedy it before its too late..
but its never too late right>>


hmmm ..
in the real life that we occupy ..
sometimes unhappily soo
we do leave things till its too late
and forever hold that little pang in the heart
for things unfulfilled ...


The film was great ..
while although not totally juciy like the book
it was enjoyable to see an adaptation that dint try to be "creative"
although mi and simin agreed that the whole show would be much more "watchable" if the actors were better looking. ;p
They made Biggings look like an arse from 'dumb and dumber'
Jane look like a 'crossed-eye more plain jane'
and Darcy unfortunately looks abit pudgy ..
he lacks the sharp sardonic air ..
I think Ewan Macgreggor would be soo much better ..
even Ralph Finnes..
and where is my Liam Neelson
*blah*
but thats sterotyping right.. hmmm


I guess to do the other actresses justice..
you just cannot look good when you are acting opposite Kiera Knightly
she is just too beautiful ..
perhaps the whole show was cast around her
;p


But it is lovely to hear english spoken soo
I love the way the old english language flows ..
and the cutting brittish accent
every word dripping with meaning
the subtilities of the language make every conversation laden with underlying themes
I have read pride and prejudice like 5 times.. and each time is a treasure hunt,
you rediscover gems and find new hidden meanings ..


just the other day at Kyno...
while browsing for Terry Pratchett books
I found a gaggle of teenage boys gushing over the author
at first i tot .. 'how tiresome .. what daft boys'
but since i was there.. i evesdrop while browsing
> a skill perfected by the female race eons ago ;p


And guess what ..
yes they were british
and somehow ..
even their gushings.. seem more ....cute ;p
hahha
im an accent-ist
find me a hot english bloke anytime ..
im just sit and hear him speak all dayyyyyyyyyyyyy/...


;p


::a day of sloching at home::
not so much outa my own will
but .. more of the will of my tummy :(
seem to have contracted some sorta gastric flu ..
yest night was a torture..
waking up to a persistent cramp in the abdomen
falling aslp in the toilet a couple of times..
but still my tummy has not left me in peace
*blah*


soo today im home-bound
shall do whatever domestic stuff that is required of mi
>>like finally cleaning my room ..after 1 year ;p
>>my shopping bags are creating a black whole in the center of my room
i keep heaping them into a pile..
but they never seem enough..
soon it will occupy a alternte dimension of its own
and start consuming the rest of my room ;p


*yawnz*
Yunfeng says that Mr Darcy doesnt exist in real life..
I shall beg to differ
he is the closest character to real life
for while he has his flaws .. he works towards whatever he feels is right
and for the best of Elizabth
Soo Mr Dracy shall remain my dream prince..
for now ...
and in my reality ..
Ewan is Darcy :)
coo


*might have to skip mambo tonight*
soo soori ben..
cant be a bunny for ur bachelor night
im sure you can find bouncier bunnies out there .. ;p
hehe


For now i need to busy myself on research about anti-money-laundering laws
how interesting
Zzzzzzzzz..


:: hope is a dangerous thing to have .. but i hope ...i hope that the memories i have left in the dregs of your mind.. will leave a lasting imprint with sprinkles of stardust and glitter ...that will bring a smile to your face whenever you think of me ...::