waiting for the rain to stop

An insane harmony of pitter patter woke me up
A crash and a bang and the white noise of rain falling down like a sheet

Ahh… perfect weather for a lazy Sunday
Just to kind to cuddle and snuggle in bed

Well, only if the plan is to snuggle by your self

I have no idea how in the first place it would seem so romantic
For a couple to spend a Sunday holed up in bed, rained in

Chances are ...

One, you can’t really fall back asleep with the incessant tapping of raindrops in no particular rhythm on your window still

And your man on the other hand is still out like a log, like how bears go to hibernate or boa constrictors after swallowing whole hogs

It is too gloomy to cast enough light to read a book

You don’t have enough willpower to get up and make some coffee to start your day, and because it seems too darn wrong to be up in the first place.

So what’s left to do but to stare blankly up at the ceiling, trying to decide if you should actually try go back to sleep or surf on your mobile

What did I do?

Thankfully the rain stopped as I was running out of things to like on Facebook.
Ahhh sweet Morpheus, back to dreamland I went

Leaving romantic notions to Ryan Gosling’s fans…

when words fail

how does one describe one's reality crumpling apart

that everywhere you look, the facade of things as you know it

is almost but a mirage



how does one describe feeling indefinitely alone

knowing that you are just but a touch, a call, a text apart

but unable to connect with anyone, to speak your heart



how does one's knowledge of oneself gets put into question

that somehow you are sure of who you are

but now can never ever be sure of what you really are



nothing is ever sure now

nothing will ever be sure again

is what I want to be absolutely sure of something ?

what if I am absolutely sure that I will never be happy?

does certainty absolve hope and believe



but the reason I hold on

it's cause I need this hole gone

as long as I dont face the light

no one will ever know that Im hurting

Danny Boy, and the Big Three Zero

When does a person becomes more than an acquaintance and more like a friend.


And yet how do you define a friend
What if you feel a sense of connection
But at the same time, you barely know him at all


who is someone whom you see at work almost every day
had a drink or two together, more than once or twice
shared a joke, a common enemy, and many late hours


Fate is a fickle mistress
No man nor beast can tame her


people would say, you were gone before your time
people would say, life has been terribly unfair to you


No matter what
I was glad to have known you


And I will ensure your memory lives on
Just by writing you down into this history of me


Danny Boy


On my birthday today
While I celebrate everything that has given me life thus far
I give a toast to you too


In this cusp of my big three O
One cannot help but be more aware of mortality
And again, cant help but be more dazzled by its wonder and glow


I fear death a lot more than when I was 13
But now, I enjoy life a lot more too
and love even more fiercely than before


Here is to life , to friends..
And to love



~ I started writing this out of grieve. But never finished it.
I think now is as good a time as any to finish my letter to Danny and to myself.

Life and death does seem to interview, to force us to reflect and to rejoice.






Sincerely
Yours

Are you there Blog. It's me ...

Hello old friend.

It's been a while.



I din't stop writing because I got bored.

Nor was it because I got busy.

I stopped writing because I was afraid.



I was afraid that being happy made me boring.

I was afraid that I wasn't growing as a writer.



There was a point in time when I reviewed my posts.

And I knew that I had to develop a style,

I had to grow in maturity, in craft.

All these were not happening.



And thus, here still I stand.

No more a better writer than I was 4 years ago.

No more a story-teller, nor wordsmith.



But I do feel that I have grown much as a person.

And I do hope I will find the time to share it with you.






Sincerely

Yours