+attack of the 60 ft nerves+

the post that i was typing for the past hour
was mercilously murdered by my computer
when it disconnected as i was loading


so in memory of my labour of literrary effort
lets have a minute of slience
for something whose life
was soo aruptly cut short
even as it was entering the world


damn it i hate my computer
grrrrrr
*roars in despair*

now you all will never know what the title mean....
bawahhahhaah

~ sleep ~

had a solid 11 hours of sleep
well not too solid
i konked out by 11pm
woke up with a start at 6am
fell back asleep
and dreamt weird lurid dreams
that made me scratch my head
when i woke up again at 8am
dragged myself to the bathroom
but in the last moment
just as i was about to step in ....
i did a jerk-turn
and jumped into my parents bed
and back into the sweet arms of the sandman
till i finally got woken up by the another strange dream
at 10am


*wheew*
what a work out even before i even officially woke up
dreaming seems more tiring
for i was still sleepy the whole day
with one leg stuck in dreamland


my eye-bags gave me a scare
when i looked into the mirror
and i thought ..
this doesnt look like one who has slept for 11 hours
what had happened ?
i think all those dreams
kept my brain running on over-drive
soo technically i have a deficite
of 11 hours of non-sleep
:(
booo




i demand a refund from the sandman!!!
*shakes head*
nobody sleeps for 11 hours and look like a POW..
~ who hasent slept since the war started like 2 decades ago...
~ surving only by eating her nails
There must be QC !!


Hopefully will have a better week ahead
im looking forward to some pampering
and maybe some HOT french eye candy
courtesy of Melva ;p
you go girl...!
....and since its my pimp daddy's big day this week
this is dedicated to him :P
hehehe!



regardless of where i am heading
i hope it is in the final direction
of happiness


~ i am slowly forgetting ~
maybe not forgetting
but at least
i am no longer pining
no longer hopeing
no longer dreaming
of any possibility
with you


soo fly away little bird
you are free to go
to wherever you please
to roam the world
and maybe ...
hopefully ...
when you had your fill of the world
you will fly back to me
and tell me all about your adventures
and i will be happy
to listen and nodd in wonder


*farewell*

=roller coaster ride=

=I am on a rollercoster ride=
a week of highs and lows


the stress was getting to me
that i had the worst possible migrane ever
my eyes hurt soo bad
i wanted to yank them out
to sit in a corner and cry them out
to stick my pen into them stake my brain out
anything to stop the searing pain
burning right behind my eyes


people says im a superwoman
well i guess superwoman has her bad leotard days too
;p


but still there are the highs ..
*sleeping more
after surviving on less than 3 hrs on average


*we won 2nd place in the tri-challeng !!
my power team of shaun and ben
ben was a trooper ..
giving us a lead of second place
even thou he was down with food poisoning
i loveeeee my teammmmmmm ~~!!
my second medal from the school
i am soo loving my last year of uni
if onli it will never end ....
but i do wish my thighs will stop aching
*groanzz*



*Manda's 21st party at Westin was ..
R-rated at times lol
i cannot believe the things our caderas guys can come up with
i will never ever look at a Y-string the same way again
the whole thing is caught on film lol
maybe we can slip it out
it shall our very own SMU video
i hope dear manda
had fun ...
which is the most important
you can only be 21st once
but u can be only 22, 23 ,24 .. once too
soo yah


*finished our performnce for SMU Open House
while i had said im perfectly happy to dance without a partner
it really gave me a sense of achievement
to have danced the Ran Kan Kan with kevin
he is a really sweet darling partner
i thank him for his guidance
thinking back at where i started out
when i barely knew any salsa last term
i felt it did come some way
while im still far from being good
it still gave me a buzzz
the adrenaline during the performance
~when ceolho throws me high into the air
and i land with a smile on my face
....priceless


And the lows
*a dip in my blipping day
i guess im not sad
just more jumbled
for when feelings are put to words
its hard to ignore pure facts
but at least
there is no vacumn occupied
by things left unsaid
that hangs in the air
like a heavy fog


the bubble of a fastasy world cannot last forever
*plop*
it will go one day


we are both lost souls
may we find a compass soon
for the river cannot meander forever
but for now
lets enjoy the journey and take in the view


i remember a question thrown at me by my JC teacher
in an interview for leadershp positions in my CCA
they asked:
if you are in a boat on a fast flowing river
and you reach a junction
one way brings you to a deadly waterfall
while the other brings you to ur destination
you team is certain its one way
while you are sure its the other way
so now
what will you do ??


-what i said-
given the lack of time to have a discussion
i will insist on my way
and then explain to my team mates
the reasons for my choice later


what would you do ??


* a little good feeling for the day*

Jasmine


Which Disney Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

-never again-

the sanctity of this blog has been violated
i feel somehow violated
is there something call blog molestation?


how will i ever want to write in it again
to paint the pictures in my mind
although they might not be a word by word replay of my life
every word i write
is a representation of my musings
blue as it may seem sometimes
it is still my beloved mind


i did not write whatever i write as a cry for attention
i did not publicised it with loud neon words shouting "read me"
it is a place for mi to share my thoughts with my friends
and whoever who chance upon it by fate
who hopefully will be rewarded with something that i can offer
my own perspective


trust is of the utmost importance to me
and if there is no trust
there is no point


everything must have a point
even in paintings
there is a always a point of reference
or the painting will seem flat
without depth
or perspective
2D is not how we want to live our lives
do we?


so should you actually try to pry again
to sneak a look at my conversations
that you are not privy to
and invade my privacy
then let me say
i am sorely dissapointed
and there is no point
for i do not like flat paintings


i do not wish to self-censor
any more than i already am doing
please give me the space
to paint my own pictures
regardless of how they turn out to be
for i want to be an artisit
at least in my own world


free is the expression of oneself
the freedom to fly beyond our earthly bounderies
but should there be chains
pulling us down with responsibilities
than we will all be like the collector's butterflies
pinned on a display
beautiful
but only for the pleasure of others

-the mysterious black hole-

last week was one of little sleep and alot of acne
the two go hand in hand
like the best of friends

however, one huge advertising presentation was nailed
the professor sent us an email
the client team - it was a good presentation


woohoo!!
now everybody can celebrate ;p


but i wonder..
the email seems pretty short
to the point..
soo was it curt and dismissive ?
or is it the german in him that make this email lack certain warmth


soo isit a ..
passable - good
okay - good
wow! - good
or
im soo impressed im speechless - good


i hope it was the last
but he doesnt look impressed
although i havent seen him look impressed
so i wouldnt know how that looks like
*rolls eyes*
maybe its the advertising industry
god-forbid if people see you looking impressed
then u will loose ur edge
such is the poker face world in which we live in


i wonder if that is the industry i wana work in
i wonder who will want me..
hmmmm
but now a job is not the most pressing problem
because
............



i forgot to file for graduation!!
lol
die .. im a such a blur f*
i should be shot
or maybe at least be given an organiser
a cute hot PA would be even better
one who speaks in many languages
and comes in a variety of clothes to match every occasion
i can bring him everywhere
*dreams*....


but i should stop dreaming
and come back down to the real depressing world
because
right now
i am not hired
my A*s are not comfirm
my dean's list is hanging on a precarious tread
i am single, dateless and undesirable
i have a no money to shop
i cannot clear my 80 hours


but actually its not about the clearing of hours that im sad about
its not being able to go
its my dream to trek in alpine conditions
and ... well
only sabrina knows why im really sad..


but i will have to quit dance to go
how does a girl decide :(
howhowhowhowhowhow....


there is still that emptyness
that struck soo suddenly today
i sit and wonder
and hurt
a little blue blinking tab on the msn
made it slightly better
but still
bitter sweetness
is not my favourite flavour