to see what we want to see.. to hear what we want to hear

while trying to load more of my Ranjani pics
I gave up halfway
the constant disconnecting of my comp
is making the process tedious..
shall do it when im more patient ;p
and more sleep ..


More thoughts have poped up
that requires some attention
before i forget abt them altogether
many "bonding" talks have been had
and as usual
its half gossipy and half personal
.. ;p


some have led to some insights
or in a way set the path to some cerebral activity
that linked certain abstract feelings together
to reach upon a point of conclusion
that can be safely said to be a new perspective


while helping a certain confuse young man
clear his many-segmented heart
i cant help but to reflect
on my own predicament
and the many subjects that come into play
i only thank god that i am not a guy


From the tahan ..
i can only say :
All guys want to be heros
its just who they choose to be heros to
~ so gals should stop complaining about the lack of heros
~ and wonder who will want to be their hero
but the problem with this age old game of love is that
in the end
everybody is just knocking on the wrong door
soo in the end we should all just take a step back and
and backtrack
then everything will be right ..
rigth?.....


if only life was so simple


give me just one night
to have him by my side
to bask in his essence
and keep him close by
but i had that one night
and now i noe that
it was not mine to take
and it had never ever been mine
~cloudy 3.40 pm .. walking stoned~


soo after sciccors curry rice
and yummy ah balling
and a long talk with De
through a disection of my inner psyhic
and of many others
i have come to a conclusion
finally
after soo long
that i am ready to close that final chapter
of a long over-due book
and throw it back to the return bin


as for u ....


i was hoping you would be a better man
but i think
in the end
all is just a dream
and i just want to wake up now


=according to De=
bec im soo strong..
and am kinda guy-ish
i need:
someone confident
capable in many ways
both in sports and in interlect
able to engage me in deeper reflections
and amuse me with a store of views and stories
i need someone i can respect
whom i can depend on
i cannot stand emotional dependency
and i must be sure that he is capable of
providing me with what I want in life in future


=i would say=
his analysis is pretty sport on
pehaps as an after-though
~ he needs to excel in at least one area...
a sport .. an area of academic...
~ he needs to be a confident driver
to like speed but yet have full control of his car
i think that tells alot of a guy
~ to be spontanous and never staid


looking at it all
seems like a tall order
i do not think guys like these are hard to find
but as i say
it all depends
if they want to be your hero
BUT ...if the guy is soo good
what makes him think he will want you
ahhhhh
therein lies the ultimate question
Am i good enuf..?


whatdo yah think babes ??
am i asking for too much ..
*ponder.. ponder*


i know i have bore u all long enough
and soo i shall no longer dwell on such a
ego-manic topic
for i am NOT high-EMO
*according to Mr. Po:
it means~ requiring high emotional support*
lol


chaus
~to bath.. to climb .. to eat
if only life is always soo easy ...

Ranjani photo log

My journey up Rinjani: Part 2~ Day 3 and 4

DAY 3: UP TO POST CAMP 1 AND NIGHTWALK DOWN



A 6am wake up call to catch the sunrise...




Got scratched by some plant and developed an allergic reaction...
so the first day past in a haze of pain, anti-histamin and wozzy head






Hungry Ghosts and morale food ;p




our porters had at work feeding us ;)




Our very own nature spa..






ahhh a waterfall beside a hot spring ..
what more can we ask for... :)
although the night walk to this campsite was super crappy
there were times in the night..
when you are exhausted.. wet.. cold.. slipping in mud.. perilously hanging for your life..and you wonder... when are we going to reach our destination


~life's like that


and our amazing campsite>>>
dawn broke ..and reveled to us
the magnificent visage






our wonderful tents ..
which are always pitched with sleeping bags and pillow
set out for us whenever we reach a campsite






Loch Ness Monster Sighting in Rinjani Lake..*wooo*




Wananbe photographer...
*i remembered to take the camera cover off okie ;p*




Getting ready for another long day of trek
our guide..who taught me berhasar indonesia..
and german and french .. all in an indonesian accent
half the time it all sounds the same to me..


and who half-proposed to me..
scared the living daylights outa me..
which was the reason why ..
i stop walking in front by myself..
and hid behind Heng the rest of the way... lol


thats all for now .. view from the top ..
coming soon ;)

Rinjani photo log

My Journey Up Rinjani: Part 1 ~ day 1 and 2


DAY 1: AUSTRALIAN AIR to Bali



I love airplane food .. ;) Spinach lagsana and the best buttery pastry .. which *sniff* i donated to heng .. bec he doesnt take veg! bah


From Bali we took a marathon road trip of a 3 hr bus ride to the Ferry, 5 hours Ferry ride to Lombok and a 2 hours bus ride to our hostel.. all the while I was concussed due to the anti-motion sickness pill i ate .. Zzzzzzzz




DAY 2: JOHN'S ADVENTURE HOSTEL


Althou shaged out .. the best welcome was waiting for us..



Banana pancake! yums.. with sweet pineapple and hot lemon tea...
it was to be our stable breakfast for the rest of the trip
but whos complaning ...
Lets not forget our cute band .. who played for us as we ate...
they were great.. althou with a limited song list..
they can beat the Singapore Idols flat..
even their indo pop songs sound good ;)




after lunch .. we went on a short trek to 2 waterfalls ..
magestic but freezing... brrrr







thats it for now.. the following days will be the real trek.. and as they say.. the adventure never ends...

*laters*

Long Live Disco !! ;p

===jaslyn, your closet's inspired by the '70s =====

Are you feeling hot? Because it looks like you've got disco fever! Even if you don't have a passion for platform shoes, you've got a lively and fun look that's right in step with the '70s.

Disco darlings knew how to hustle up outrageous outfits from tight leisure suits to big, bold butterfly collars. And a fun, life-of-the-party girl like you isn't afraid to take risks and stand out either. You may enjoy hitting the town in something more modern like a metallic dress, sky-high leather boots, or humungous hoop earrings. No matter what, you've got that special '70s something that makes everyone feel like dancing. Groovy, baby!

==================================================

lol
i cannot imagine that ...
Am i that retro ...
;p

in times of doubt.. duck *quack*

i sense there is talk about me
but i just dunoe about what
too many small-hearted people
with too little things to occupy them
perhaps


nobody ever asks me anything
i am always the last to know
if something is about me
shouldnt they
as Yun Feng so rightly puts it
get the answer from the horse's mouth
perhaps people dnt expect the truth from me


do i look that dishonest
or do i look that fierce
.....
only the ravens know
and the vultures wait and watch
for the bodies to fall
and then they pick their meal
in a corner
hurriedly before the hyennas come
the social hieracy works that way...


life is too short
to bother about talk



unless its a true communication
between 2 humans
that enriches the soul
and bring us closer together


my heart beated
plop .. plop .. plop
in huge big plops
as i stared into that face
those light brown eyes
why must life be soo complicated
sighz


sleep beckons
it will not be ignored
its time to say buenas noches
thank you for the shout-out
all the way from Barca
it really made my day





but of course

Bananas about bananas .. and pineapple and ect and etc..

chao dah yun
is peeling like mad
a walking pile of dead skin i am
leaving a trial of myself wherever i go
somehow that does sounds more romantic than it actually is


still reeling from a 2day whirlwind romance with Bali
the inner monster in me
grining my evil grinz
when i heard that it had been flooding (imagine that!)
in rainy Singapore
while we basked in the bright blue skys of Bali ...


While the trek itself wasnt all too hard
i had the bad luck of having an allegic reaction to some vegetation
and passed the first day groggy and weak
its fustrating not to be able to exert to your full potential
its like superman trying to fly
with cryptonite on his back
....
like poppey finding that the local mama-shop
had ran out of spinach
....
like batman
having heat rash in his skin-tight rubber suit


the depressing situation was made worse with a night trek
that saw us trugging along narrow clifffaces
with almost no light
our weak and weary limbs wobbling along
steep cliff faces


it was times like those that i begin to appreciate
the things i was made to go through in OAC
we never really belived in the bullshit
of activities to train our night confidence
of methods to train initiative and preparedness
and then BAM!
... all those bullshit dnt seem soo bull after all


The first day of muddy paths had given way to nice Alpine terrain
and a hot spring bath to start the day
it is amazing to bath under hot water flowing right from a crack in the mountain
while a waterfall sprayed icy mists just beside the hot spring pool
the experience is hmm.. like you are lounging in nature's spa
how cool is that ;p


the last push up the Ranjani summit at 2am
was hmm....
a test of personal mental strength
and as i stumbbled up loose stones
with the guides far in front
and everyone else far below
their headlamps
little specks of lights wavering slowly in the deep dark night
and the wind holwing at me
as i sat on a rock to rest
i felt the desolateness
of being alone
in the darkness
with no where to go but up


time to time
i would hear swearing floating up from down below
and as i fall on all fours
trying to grad a hold
in the constantly shifting stones
one wonders
how nice it would be to give up
....
give up .. give up ..give up
echos in the wind


anywaz.. giving up is never an option
and we should never consider it even in life
just have enough common sense to know when its smart to back off
backing off is not giving up
dnt let your ego tell you otherwise
backing off is just living ot fight another day
*smiles*


on the last day in Lomok
met a really interesting polish guy at my hostel
a fleeting aquiantance
but enriching none-the-less
a huge-hulking blonde
with arms bigger than my thunder thighs
holding on to olden values
and a love for the outdoors
he lectures on the sociology of fashion
and plans events for car shows
and makes use of summer breaks to travel
snow boards, pratices muay thai and played rudgy competitively
he has broken about every possible bone on the left side of his body
and yet
he loves to do what he does


it makes me wonder if i should just persue my interests
my passions
and not be too bothered about
societal status and all that crap
..
but still
at the end of the day this little girl
just wants to return to warm open arms
with a nice bed to snuggel into



maybe i should be a pet::
=========== jaslyn the instant companion ===============


comes with a wide array of wardrobe and accessories
- LV bags, ipod nano, Aldo shoes...
can be anything you want
from Jungle Jaslyn to Nerdy Jasly to Sexy Secretary Jaslyn
just groom her, feed her and show her some affection once in a while
and she will be the best companion as and when you need some TLC
speaks in 3 languages *comes with purring options*
shake well before opening
batteries not included

=================================================================

my Colourgenics profile

You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

and soo a little window of my heart closes

me: Boo
he: hi


and that was all...


there is nothing more..



i think he is lost forever ....


and so
i guess
perhaps its the closure im looking for ...


finally


never ever ever



again