Dare to Dream

Just visiting the booth yest with sabri and lijen
and brought them on a tour of our arduous journey
it brought back many mixed emotions, nostalgia and pride


If you happen to be in the vicinity of SMU Kopitiam
Just walk through
and be awed by the magnificence of Africa :)


Hakuna Matata


Here a collage I did of the mountain




Like Mr. Wilson our guide said
" Mountains will never meet, But people do"


~may I see you on another mountain top~

Every time in our lives have their place

So says someone when I comment:
"ahh.. To be a student again..."


ahh well.. for a no-longer-student
I have been down to school more often than some still-students this week ;p
Evidently..
All the work had got to me last week
but thanks to all who had sent e-hugs my way
and to someone
who gave me a real huge sweep-me-off-my-feet hug
nothing beats the real thing man.. I'm sorry :)
that will remain in Caiyun's Hall of Hugs for a long long time


Because I don't foresee any more tall-dark-handsome guy
sweeping me off my size5 feet anytime soon....
maybe if I buy taller heels
I might stand a better chance
;p
bah


anyways.. its good to feel the load off my back
although it was not my best
I tried my best
let the others settle the rest :p
a tad irresponsible?
perhaps ..


But I have already threw everything into the wind
gotten out my cocktail dress
and my man-eater shoes..
feeling ravenous
all ready to party..


until I realized..
my moolah aint in yet
all plans of manicure, facials, spa, dinners
came crumbling down..
*sobs*
thus this week of "Pamper Caiyun Week" came to naught
next week .. I promise myself
which will also coincide with
my self-proclaimed "pamper dians week too"
because the poor gal looked like she needs a major break too :(


HOWEVER..
noo moolah did not mean no fun
I had loads of fun nightbiking ..
to feel the burn as we ate up the hills of Singapore
*kick-ass shiok*
to discover an eye-candy
*priceless*


Discovered.. a great new chill-out place!!!
The Cheesecake cafe
down at East Coast
what can be better
renaissance meets Mediterranean meets Bali resort deco
scrumptious cheescake in all possible flavor
think: peanut butter cheesecake.. Caramel cheescake...
and great company..
*me of course*
I come with the deal.. Ok ;p
lol


and *claps* to Ben Boh
for a great performance down at Timbre
we had good "cheap" wine
amazingly thin crust pizza
good company and of course
great music
it was really ..
"happy" ;p


although everytime..
everything I'm "happy"
people think I'm drunk
sad sad sad..
perhaps no one sees the real cloudy..
or it could also mean
I am seldom truly comfortable-happy
with many people..


lalalalala
ahh well..
though I seem to have developed a taste for red wine
being a staunch white-wine person.. till like last month
it is disturbing to find that
I long for the deep, rich taste of red
and the buzz that it brings with it
....
I hope I'm not turning into an alcoholic..


whoopee news flash: my pay just came in:
lalalallalala
happiness
thou nothing beats a hug
a real one of course :)



~ you occupy my mind ..~

*stormy*

I never thought ill say this
but i am tired
i am sooo soo tired
my brain is numb
my heart is aching from emptyness
cloudy needs a hug*

poo

To forever 21: wine like water ..

A Saturday morning of effort
with the pisco sour still sloshign in my system
wishing I was rock-climbing instead ;p
the fruits of my labor:
Posters for SMUay THAI..









=================================================
Never drank soo much wine in such a short span of time
It was truly a festive week
While the crazy partying of the past week
had turned towards more Chill-Out mellow this week
The enjoyment dervived is just as rich


WELL it does seem like there is a theme every week
doesn't it ;p LOL
Rita's surprise party
was truly a surprise
which is unusual for smux's track record
LOL
but her sister was really great
with hor douves from Marmalade Pantry
chocolate fondue fountain with lots of fresh fruits
and LOTs of wine...


jackie and gang.. with their helium balloons antics
performed an acapella of the birthday song with
helium-pitched voices!!
like a group of ah beng chipmucks ;p
and I have never seen Joel moved sooo fast
to smash the cake into rita's face..
~ its like watching a lazy cat lounging
and "foom" ..the next thing you know
it has a mice in its mouse


the poor girl had cake in her hair, on her shirt, all over her face...
thou I must say that she really smelled good after that
*yumm...
~ the latest scent: Chocolate Cake..
makes every girl irresistible"~


it wasn't till later ..
while chilling in the aftermath..
did her sis point out that she had cake
in her ears!!!
eeew..
if only we had a hot hunk there
to lick it out for her ...
next year.. ok gal.. hehe
;p


The supposedly wine party the next day
had dwindled till it hung on precarious fate
but still the few of us
with a thirst for the nectar of gods
persevered with dogged determination
while I couldn't contribute any wine
zhuang and I probably bought enough cheese to feed
a whole lab of mice (whatever that means)
which probably would have provided some entertainment
for the huge fat resident cat there
its tail, an entity by itself
*meow*


fruit and nut cheese rocks!!
soo does feta and Brie and cambered
just when I though I ate enough cheese to last me
till next year
and maybe a half ..


we ordered a huge cheese platter at Simin's Bdae Dinner!
squeak!
One Rochester (www.onerochester.com)
was relly chi-chi chill
with veryyyy friendly service ;)
We opened like 3 bottles of wine
my fav~
Saint Claire with a berry aftertaste..


Simin ordered 2 cakes from Awfully chocolate
with guess what written on it ?
:: Forever 21 ::
woot!!!
you rock gal !!!
and thank you for the great evening


That will be the first of many
high-crasss evenings to come ok
..its time we upgrade from
SMU kopitiam ...
hehe


And that was how i spent my week
~on a high spirits... ;p
but not before i took some time to have dinners with my mum
its been a long time since we shared a meal alone
considering that all my crazy antics
have probably drove her to paranoial ..
I should balance my play with some family bonding
then she will know me better and
maybe trust my judgment more...


I am not a person who easily opens out
im slow burn


I shall end with a shout out
to all the women in my life
you all rock! ;)
*muacks*

<3<3<3

My "work"

=yippy finally posted the final postcard!
thanks to sabri and jen for your feedback=


What kept me busy over the weekend:
Here is a preview of this season's Muay Thai Marketing Collection
Currently still under "work in progress"
It will make its runway debut on Vivace

::Postercards::











:: Poster ::





Hmm i know there is more to do..
> more posters and emailers
> Banner
> Kilimanjaro Magazine Layout
all due by friday !!!
and of course there is my "real" work


Yesterday left me abit lacking of inspiration
soo many things pending
it felt like i was back in school
things piling up till im gasping for air


Its times like this that you yearn for something more
than a hot chocolate and a soft bed
I need a muse to amuse me
to excite me
to push my creative limits
to open up my mind


I know it sounds alittle dirty
perhaps it is mean to be....
lol


Alright
i shall refrain from sounding anymore
like a sexually fustrated old lady ..
toodels!

6.35pm and still in office

Listening to "Collide" for like the what?... 48th time?
over and over and over and over and over...
again..

my very own spanish rainbow

~the post that never got out~

And to think I was sad to come back from KL soo soon
But I guess fate had other things planned for me..
a whirlwind week of fun, laughter, bimbo-ness, emo singing
and best of all ..
cathing up with friends..


Friends who had been away...
never seen for months
Friends who had never gone away
but still never got round to meeting
Friends whom I have never met
But made along the way


Sentosa with the trekking people
had seemed abit werid at first
but the universal bitching game
is the ultimate ice-breaker
and regardless of having sand up your butt
seawater in your eyes
kicking mervyn many times in the shin
while doing vivcious soccer tackles
nothing beats the amazing crap said
with Huifen and Xingyu holding the table
I <3 the trekking gals
who needs guys ;p


the theme of gal power followed
with some exotic dancing on the butterfactory dance floor
with cora, sabrina and yours truely
cora rocks as the hoochie mama !!
i am tempted ot be her lesbian pimp
woot!
their shared gift for me was a pinstrip black hat
i cant wait to pair it with:
black pants, white shirt, black corset and black killer heels
woooo
a whip would help finish the look
purrrfectly *meow*


More emo singing followed with KTV
im still moved by Melvin..
i swear he gets better everytime
and i seem to be listening to emo songs nowadays
I wonder why
hopefully its just PMS
and not something stupid like ....
like wishful thinking ;p


an email reminded me of something
that brougth much heartache
which I had said before to certain people
of which they shared my view
and which I will say again:
He is blind
and to think i thought so highly of him
I just hope the best for him


some things you can stop
some thing you cant stop
some things you can stop but dnt know where to start


welll as KH said
loves blindfolds you
hmm ....
it must be a pretty F*ing huge blindhold i guess


anywaz.. it was a great supper yest
from bishan to thomson to geylang to yishun and back again
to careen around turns at 100km/hr
controled power.. woohoo!


I love the Oysho tube all the way from Barcalona
thou i was hoping for lacy underwear ..
but that rainbow-hued-sweetness
is cute too.. ;p


And all the food is making me fat :(
to gym to gym this little piggy goes
But first
to MOS it will make a detour first!


come on peopl!
unleashed that inner animal at the MOS cage!!
*oink*!
unfortunately
i think my inner animal is a pig
;(
i will get slaughtered then.....



in what consideration set are you?
we all have our own
so how do we know when is there
an overlap
a subset
or a exclusive set
or are you...an outlyer....

Alone Again... Naturally ...

Being lonely being alone
that's kinda new for me
Funny for someone who enjoys solitude...
but usually in the proximity of the next human being


So when finally got thrown into a foreign situation
in a foreign land
sitting in a foreign bed..
soaking in the quietness that solitude brings...


The lack of the sound of the breathing of another human being
while when present... might seem negligible
But when absent... leaves a huge awning void
in which static sounds flows into


I suddenly feel lonely...


But loneliness is something I have to get use to right?
Not because I want to ..
But because we all have to be alone at some point in our lives
whether we like it or not..


So while walking down dark streets,
While walking along the dark hotel corridors,
While walking into a dark hotel room,
I half expect to be part of some horror movie..
amazingly embarrassing I must say...
to have braved the jungle nights alone
but to fear the dark in a city full of lights
....


However, KL is not without its charms
the night air brings romance to mind
But in my mind was where it stayed
the inviting chi-chi bars
the twinkling nightscape
seen in its full glory from my hotel room
with the KL twin towers raising up magnificently
~glowing efferverscent cosmopolitan


As I sink into my bath tub full of bubbles
with a hot cuppa tea
and my Terry Pratchett
I think I can start enjoying such a solitude
But then..
where are my wine, chocolates and strawberries?
and definitely ..
where is the hot dude to soap my back..


Fresh from the bath ..
with more tea ( yes very British,I know ;p )
watching "Buttons" on MTV
as I snuggled up into the soft white sheets
that engulfed me in its satin coolness
I wonder again..
where are my wine, chocolates and strawberries?
and the hot sex that comes with it...


The setting was perrrfect
But alas the company was lacking somewhat
I guess there's always my mango shopping bags
to hug to sleep at night... ;p
LOL

RIP

Lets have a minute of silence
for the 2 brave cookies..
Mr Double Chocolate Chip
and Miss Outmeal Rasin
for having fougth bravely
in Foriegn Territory
out of their safty haven
~the display case of Subway


to Finally succumb to the
Cookie Monster
at the Caven of Caiyun's Enormous Mouth


It did not last past tea time..


But will be sadly missed ..


snifff snifff
their calories are currently resting
in the park of Caiyun's Butt...


come and pay your final respects
if you can
;p

starving is the badge of my tribe~

I F I K I S S E D Y O U


If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Woud angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If  I kissed you.


If I kissed you
What would Michaelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you


You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But l guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms and kiss you.


If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.
Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you.


Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo


==================================================


lol..
i woud love to kiss you..
to fill u up to the brim
with bubbliness
like champange in a glass


I would love to kiss you
and let the warm spread over you
like that little pat of butter
glazing hotcakes in the morning


I would love to kiss you
with molten chocolate in my mouth
and let you taste the sweetness
that life can bring
all gooey and sticky
in deep passionate french

I love you deep deep.. <3
==== written by jaslyblueclouds =======


and who do i wana kiss??
well that little chocolate cookie that has been sitting on my desk all morning of course
the one that has been seducing me
with little winks from its chocolate chips


driving me crazy with its wonderful perfume
of aromatic buttery decadence
urghsss


all the above has been evidently
written by a deranged mind
driven to hunger
all because the said writter
has been having too many suppers
and all set to perform next week
in a totally unflattering costume
with a little blubbering tummy
and
red is soooo not my colour
hmf
*tosses hair*


*coookieeeee*
okie just a LITTLE nibble


lets all pray for the fate of that innocent cookie
will it survive this lunch break ?
hmmm


and update of its status will be put forward
later in the day ..
please check with your friendly news-stand for further updates

HUgs and Kisses ~ my room smells of flowers

thank you all ...
im truly feeling the lurrvveeee


and thank you for the fabulous "high-tea" session babes..
that you all kindly brought to my house




muacks!




a surprise visit from gege, qiao min and robin
thanks for the flower.. and the magic polen potion..
that is suppose to turn me back into a beauty again ;p




and a really really bright sunflower from dians and zhuang ..
thanksssssss


a promise of your supper delivery keeps me going for one more day ;p

heee


and finally




thankyou for "Tuesday With Morris"...
i will read it and hopefully be inspired to be a better person
however sometimes..
life gets too cynical ..

quote from another book im reading
: On Beauty by Zadie Smith
" Because you never get what you want. Your life is just an orgy of deprivation."


it just somehow juxtaposes the other book im reading
but i still i think its pretty cool
the authors phrases are really interesting..
words are just tools
for us to use
and for some people ..
magic happens


nighty night
i will have aromatic dreams... tonight
*maucks*

The return of the daughter of Frankenstein

One dark stormy late afternoon....*Thunder booms*
the said victim came back .. feeling very tired after dance camp...
feeling constipated .. she decided to go to the loo before she konks out


But before any bowels got moved
She started to doze off .. dreaming lurid dreams
and then boom *dramatic scary muic*
she blacks out and falls head first onto the toilet door.
and *bam!!*
the impact knocks her out again...
*music fades away..*


when she regained conciousness..
blood was dripping all over her face and onto the floor
her dad was banding louding on the door..
she couldnt reply..
she couldnt call for help..
and slips back into blackness


when she woke up..
she was in an ambulance..
with a medic bending over her..
disorientated.. she closed her eyes and finally got a rest
the rest she had been wanting
for soo long


*after hours in the operating theater under the knife of a plastic surgeon..*
with 30 stiches ... and alot of injections
she emerges ... all patched up....
a modern day Frankenstieness...
a MONSTER....


Quick hide your children... !





Well seriously ..
thou this is a true life account...
i guess .. it dint come with a dramatic sound track ..
but i swear
everything was word for word.. ;p


during this whole amazingly absurb experience
half of my embarrassed self was kicking myself
for being soo stupid
the other vain half was kicking myself
for fear of being Ms Scar Face forever ;p
and i keep wondering if i was still dreaming
cliche as it sounded
i willed myself awake
but alas...


i was awake throughout the operation
and it gave me lots of time to think
while the doctor had asked me to sleep
somehow having needles going through your face
and strings tugging at your eyelids...
sleep just doesnt come that easily


it dawned upon me that
all this shit must be karma
maybe i have not been as good as i should be
maybe i can be a better person
and maybe ill be ugly forever


soo i started praying
to no god in particular
to any higher being that cared to listen
that i will survive this ordeal
un-disfigured
and i shall aim to be a better person..


i have seen the panic
that i had sent my parents into
and i vowed to show more appreciation to them
and to let them worry less
althou my mum is now soo paraniod
afraid that ill trip and fall over everything
that its driving me crazy


i vowed to be better to my friends
they have shown me much concern
kisses to dians and simin..
yesh.. im beautiful ..
no matter what happens..
*rolls eyes* lol


and i vowed to relive myself of all emotional baggages(mainly men..)
and focus on finding my direction in life
and making my career work...
it should no longer about me being happy
it should be about others being happy too


cai yun has worked too hard
and yun cai(caiyun's evil twin)
has played too hard
soo now..
being forced to slow down and
smell the proverbial roses yet again
i shall make the best of it


*kisses to my sis ..who gave me this wen i came back from the hospital*


and soonn
i promise soon
i will post the rest of my kili pics and journal
once.... my arch nemisis gives me my photos ;p
yeshh..
u
and only u
can call mi Hilary Potter ;p


To the rest..
im Frankenstina ;p
bwahahaha
okie.. sorri
i had a moment
must be the moon..

Kilimanjaro Dairy:

While its been a week since im back..
and Africa is begining to seem like a dream
a different lifetime away


i hope by putting all my thoughts down online
would make them more real
and maybe this dream will linger longer
in the vestiges of time
and in my mind

soo here it all is
transplanted from my trusty little pink notebook
that followed me all these way
word for word..


Day 1:
~Fly Emirates
Tetris challenge with Nyan
Pillow fights with Heng
Curled up, stiff neck and lurid dreams
constant hunger pangs
satiated by good airplane food ..
yums


~We had departed at 12 am
Hungs from mummy, daddy & sissy
Ai xing red bean buns from daddy
i am reminded of how much my family loves me ;p


~2am Boarding
*first sign of excitment*
tempered by the forlorness of the boys
they seem so lost outa their element
*Supper*! First sign that we will be well-fed
Roast beef and cheesy sandwich
yummy egg cake with whipped cream
Burp!


~7am: Fitfull sleep with a good breakfast
Asparagus ommlette with hashbrowns
hot buttery croisaunts
with loads of jam and cream cheese
and a muffin
(which was gobbled up by a muffin monster the first thing we touched down ;p)


~9am Dubai Airport
initial promising DFS shopping turned out to be naught
Diary Queen's breakfast: rich but good
(yesh ..it was second breakfast..
as according to the hobbits ;p)
Never seen soo many people sleeping in an airport
it is desolatness in opulence


~Narobi Airport
Up to Kilimanjaro~ Volcanoe & Highest peak in Africa
Finally here ! puke!
After a long and tedious flight/transit/stoning
Never have i taken such a tumulous journey
i suspect the piolet thinks he is flying a fighter jet ;p
Baikun lost his luggage ;(
But it seems he is still good to go ..
hmm...
Hope he is not just putting on a brave front
(KH will kill mi if anything happens to him) lol...


The airport reminds me of Cambodia's
2 storey/ small shops/ dim lighting
But the weather was a surprise
All images of a hot sultry Africa
flew outa window ..
When a gust of cold , crisp wind blew past me..
sending shivers down my spine
i see rolling grassland,
i see the unfamiliar skin colour
and still it doesnt hit me that im in Africa
its all so surreal
and off we go....


Paul's letter bought a smile. a sigh and
perhaps a sense of loss
that im not having the opportunity to share this
experience with him
Despite dismisals of him being EMO
EMO also means heart
and Paul has made sure he is in all our hearts
as we embarked on this adventure .....


~5.16 pm: on the way to Impala Hotel
Following the sun through polarised panes
seeing the clear blue sky
so near, they seem touchable
teh long straight road
teh flat grassland
spreading out to infinity
i cant help but smile of pure happiness
i am finally out to see the world!


How to describe the clarity of what i see before me
spemthing i have tried but fail to capture
even in the camera
how to put to words the bluest of blue
with clouds in its 3D magnificence
you can sense that you are a little closer to heaven


i dnt need a compass to tell me where i am
i am here
and thats all that matters
ahhh a revelation!


Heng says: " wah the amount of space here"
well thats it isint it
unobstructed view as far as teh eye can see
this is space
this is freedom


~*Notes from Heng:
"I wish this never ends
pure bliss..
contentment just sitting here
looking out at the vastness
i feel small
humbled back to ground


~*Notes from TT:
The grass may not be greener
but the sky is definatly bluer!
I miss New Zealand ;)


*Co-authors of my lovly hot pink notebook diary


thats all for a very very long Day 1...

Alone

Loving a person who can't love you back,
Is way lonelier than living alone....
~Grey's Anatomy


=as taken from ah kow's blog=


hmm
sighz..
in the end..
we are all alone
arent we


alone in a crowd
alone in a group
alone in a pair
alone by ourselves


solidarity is a fact of life

Renjani Photo Log

My Journey up Ranjani: Part 4~ Day 6 & 7

Finally Bali for R&R
I wish R&Rs was longer
next time we promise to plan for a 3 day climb
and 7days R&R
lol

First stop: Daddy's Cafe
for a huge Aussie Brekafast
yums!



And we are off to the beach








Surfer-wanabees ;p



and to end it off
a surfer cafe for dinner


Pictures taken by a mabok photographer






and before we know it
its time to say goodbye
to our comfy hotel room



Thats it...
althou loads of other photos
make up this wonderful experience
i dont think they will ever be enough
to express all that i felt
;)


cheers to beautiful Bali
and to its friendly, hospitable people

Renjani Photolog

My journey up Renjani: Part 3~ day 4 & 5
Summmit Push -- View from the top




Summit Sunrise




In daylight ;) after a long hard push ..
the snot, the fustration, the fear of falling into black oblivion..
it was all worth it




Hiding from frigging cold wind at the top .. brrrrr..
Followed by a slow decent to admire the amazing view
and photo-whore ;p












and down we go .. to sunny Bali !!
surf, sand and shopping !
yummy

*short news flash*

yippy !
Rinjani(yes Mr.Po.. i hope im spelling it right this time ;p)
Photo Log Part 2 is out~
Partly due to lots of patience
and partly due to the fact that
ill rather do anything but my research work
at the mo.


soo please scroll a few posts down to see it :)


grrr
im feeling the side effects of the Dimox tablet
its suppose to help prevent AMS (altitude sickness)
however in saving me from headaches
im getting diarroea :(


soo as Eug says:
you want to lau sai or to have AMS?
hmm tough choice there
*scratch head*


Going to meet dians at the gym soon
*waves*
im feeling strong
after dance and rock climbing yest
but i wish i got more time to boulder more
;p there is a urgh to climb more
to exert more
to feel the burn in the arms
but looks like i wont get to do it until i come back from Kili
sobzzz


*sniff sinff*
yesterday i was hit by a certain fear
a fear that i have not bought enuf stuff for kili
i really dnt feel that i have
i feel ill-prepared
but limited funds calls for some sacrifice
i was gazing at my mummy's credit card
in my hands yesterday
it was so tempting to buy the whole shop
*sighz*


i hate the cold
i cant even tahan being in a air con room
of like 16 degrees


i was imagining myself
dying out there
in the snow
in africa
...
brrrrr....


i think i watched too many disaster movies
:(
but the fear is there
constant and nigging at me
...


*bah*

i fear
i fear
i fear


but when i express the fear to people
it sounds trivia
like in hot sultry Sinagpore
the idea of freezing to death
just cannot be fathom...


boo ..
i fear the unknown
but does the unkown fear me ?

Extremist

Met Robin for dinner yest..
and althou we dont meet up often
he still found a need to gripe
and pull a damper on the whole mood


Somehow .. we ended up talking about fashion
and he said clothes are now to the point of indecency
that women today are wearing clothes..
but still seem naked


while I try to point to the fact that
in the end we are born without clothes
and in fact the reason clothes came about
other than all the part about Adam and Eve
and the apple and the shame ...
was probably due to some powerful selfish man
who wants to keep his women to himself
and therefore went about dictating
that clothes should be worn for modesty


But what is modesty
why is it that we need to be ashamed our our naked selfs
the questions intrigues me
from a sociology point of view
but he refuses to be drawn into a discussion
on the evolution of society
instead
a he gave a tirade of how he knows many women out there
who chosses to dress modestly for their own sake
and how ..I .. tend to dress to the extreme


In fact it bacome a point of how ..
I tend to do everything to the extreme
OKAY ..
so apparently .. i dress indecently
i committe myself to too many things
i shop to extreme
i trek to the extreme
i work to the extreme
i throw caution to the wind and jump into things
and end up giving up on other things
~like our relationship


okayyyy
soo in the end everything is always about him..
but i was tired
it was a old arguement
and i felt very tired
after being put down so many times in one day


soo in the end ..
i am not capable
~just crazy
i do not have a good dress sense
~ just trashy
i do not have a balanced life
~ just selfish


THANK YOU .. i feel soo good as a person now...
he is SUCH FUN to be with
*wheee.. twirls fingers in the air*


i am quiet
i am tired
i am sick of people trying to judge
and i am begining to loose a sense of myself


do people actually think that lowly of me..
usually i dnt give a shit
but its times like these
that you reel back in shock
and wonder what does the world think of you


haiz.. *chants*
this is my space
this is my space
this is my space
*breath*

to see what we want to see.. to hear what we want to hear

while trying to load more of my Ranjani pics
I gave up halfway
the constant disconnecting of my comp
is making the process tedious..
shall do it when im more patient ;p
and more sleep ..


More thoughts have poped up
that requires some attention
before i forget abt them altogether
many "bonding" talks have been had
and as usual
its half gossipy and half personal
.. ;p


some have led to some insights
or in a way set the path to some cerebral activity
that linked certain abstract feelings together
to reach upon a point of conclusion
that can be safely said to be a new perspective


while helping a certain confuse young man
clear his many-segmented heart
i cant help but to reflect
on my own predicament
and the many subjects that come into play
i only thank god that i am not a guy


From the tahan ..
i can only say :
All guys want to be heros
its just who they choose to be heros to
~ so gals should stop complaining about the lack of heros
~ and wonder who will want to be their hero
but the problem with this age old game of love is that
in the end
everybody is just knocking on the wrong door
soo in the end we should all just take a step back and
and backtrack
then everything will be right ..
rigth?.....


if only life was so simple


give me just one night
to have him by my side
to bask in his essence
and keep him close by
but i had that one night
and now i noe that
it was not mine to take
and it had never ever been mine
~cloudy 3.40 pm .. walking stoned~


soo after sciccors curry rice
and yummy ah balling
and a long talk with De
through a disection of my inner psyhic
and of many others
i have come to a conclusion
finally
after soo long
that i am ready to close that final chapter
of a long over-due book
and throw it back to the return bin


as for u ....


i was hoping you would be a better man
but i think
in the end
all is just a dream
and i just want to wake up now


=according to De=
bec im soo strong..
and am kinda guy-ish
i need:
someone confident
capable in many ways
both in sports and in interlect
able to engage me in deeper reflections
and amuse me with a store of views and stories
i need someone i can respect
whom i can depend on
i cannot stand emotional dependency
and i must be sure that he is capable of
providing me with what I want in life in future


=i would say=
his analysis is pretty sport on
pehaps as an after-though
~ he needs to excel in at least one area...
a sport .. an area of academic...
~ he needs to be a confident driver
to like speed but yet have full control of his car
i think that tells alot of a guy
~ to be spontanous and never staid


looking at it all
seems like a tall order
i do not think guys like these are hard to find
but as i say
it all depends
if they want to be your hero
BUT ...if the guy is soo good
what makes him think he will want you
ahhhhh
therein lies the ultimate question
Am i good enuf..?


whatdo yah think babes ??
am i asking for too much ..
*ponder.. ponder*


i know i have bore u all long enough
and soo i shall no longer dwell on such a
ego-manic topic
for i am NOT high-EMO
*according to Mr. Po:
it means~ requiring high emotional support*
lol


chaus
~to bath.. to climb .. to eat
if only life is always soo easy ...

Ranjani photo log

My journey up Rinjani: Part 2~ Day 3 and 4

DAY 3: UP TO POST CAMP 1 AND NIGHTWALK DOWN



A 6am wake up call to catch the sunrise...




Got scratched by some plant and developed an allergic reaction...
so the first day past in a haze of pain, anti-histamin and wozzy head






Hungry Ghosts and morale food ;p




our porters had at work feeding us ;)




Our very own nature spa..






ahhh a waterfall beside a hot spring ..
what more can we ask for... :)
although the night walk to this campsite was super crappy
there were times in the night..
when you are exhausted.. wet.. cold.. slipping in mud.. perilously hanging for your life..and you wonder... when are we going to reach our destination


~life's like that


and our amazing campsite>>>
dawn broke ..and reveled to us
the magnificent visage






our wonderful tents ..
which are always pitched with sleeping bags and pillow
set out for us whenever we reach a campsite






Loch Ness Monster Sighting in Rinjani Lake..*wooo*




Wananbe photographer...
*i remembered to take the camera cover off okie ;p*




Getting ready for another long day of trek
our guide..who taught me berhasar indonesia..
and german and french .. all in an indonesian accent
half the time it all sounds the same to me..


and who half-proposed to me..
scared the living daylights outa me..
which was the reason why ..
i stop walking in front by myself..
and hid behind Heng the rest of the way... lol


thats all for now .. view from the top ..
coming soon ;)

Rinjani photo log

My Journey Up Rinjani: Part 1 ~ day 1 and 2


DAY 1: AUSTRALIAN AIR to Bali



I love airplane food .. ;) Spinach lagsana and the best buttery pastry .. which *sniff* i donated to heng .. bec he doesnt take veg! bah


From Bali we took a marathon road trip of a 3 hr bus ride to the Ferry, 5 hours Ferry ride to Lombok and a 2 hours bus ride to our hostel.. all the while I was concussed due to the anti-motion sickness pill i ate .. Zzzzzzzz




DAY 2: JOHN'S ADVENTURE HOSTEL


Althou shaged out .. the best welcome was waiting for us..



Banana pancake! yums.. with sweet pineapple and hot lemon tea...
it was to be our stable breakfast for the rest of the trip
but whos complaning ...
Lets not forget our cute band .. who played for us as we ate...
they were great.. althou with a limited song list..
they can beat the Singapore Idols flat..
even their indo pop songs sound good ;)




after lunch .. we went on a short trek to 2 waterfalls ..
magestic but freezing... brrrr







thats it for now.. the following days will be the real trek.. and as they say.. the adventure never ends...

*laters*