sadly

never in a million years
would I expect this to happen


Just one day i found myself
walking in the sun
skirts swishing
and a smile crept up to my face
the happiness
that threatened to burst out of my heart
yet confided in its inner chambers
all four of them
pitta patting to the sound of my heart beat


I look for a song
and inevitable turn to a happy one
I sing to myself
ALOT
I dance around when no one's looking
I skip even when people's looking


Alice has found her rabbit hole ..


How can anyone in this world make me soo happy
yet I dint wana assume
The feeling of needing to know
but not exactly wanting to know
is scary ..
in that in the end
you might be left with nothing...


But now I have something..
and my dears have wished me with
the greatest happiness
but yet I know somehow ...
in gaining my own happiness
I seem to have made a few other people
unhappy..
Like a zero sum game


why should that be??
perhaps this was not suppose to happen
perhaps alot of people dint expect it to happen
i did not purposfully seek for it to happen
but it did
soo live with it..


The last episode of Grey's Anatomy is making me cry...


chasing cars
sadly


while my current state of being
is in a total state of jumble
I do know 1 thing clearly
I am happy ...
the other 3 words are overuse
but these 3 ..
It makes my heart burns like a star
when I hear you say them too...