HOW TRUE.. hmm but does that mean Melvin is like tat too ?? since he has the same birth date ;p lol

Your Birthdate: May 4

Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual. Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Hmmm..

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

~ Amused ~

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Beer Belly Upz

Been a busy busy week
almost maddening ...
soo many ppl to meet ..
soo many companies to beg
soo many activities to join


but i keep procrastinating
i just dnt feel like connecting with other people..
its tiring... because you need to make the effort to communicate
and i could just feel myself shrinking into a shell
i just wana hide somewhere and study


be like a turtle..


to maintain a certain sembience of sanity ..
i did a "alvin"..
i just played the same song over and over again on my laptop
thankfully i had better earphones..
and dint drive anybody to jump of the lib block by making them hear the same song for the 50th time ;p
~kelly (of superidol fame) :: Bei Ai De Nu Ren ::
I dunoe why .. but that song just struck a cord in mi .. such anguish ..
it feels great to sing the anguish outa ur heart... makes it feel less burdened


But i digressed>>
Losta of things happened for the past week.
Looks like some subconcious part of me is on a devious plan to drive myself crazy ..


~Me and sab went on the tryouts on tuesday and got into the latin dance performance group..
how exciting..
although i had went in with the feeling of ... "its okei if i dnt get in.. im quiet sucky anywazz"
but once you have performed...
the nerves get to you ..
you just dunwana fail..
when you have put ur heart doing something well .. you just cant walk away with a defeat


And i have found for myself another NY alumni ..
my dance partner..
who was a good dancer and smelled very nice..hmm
women are ruled by their heart..
im ruled by my nose .. ;p


Surprise, surprise ~some guys atcually went to learn salsa during their NS..
*gosh*
jaw drops..
maybe im not knowing the right type of guys..
lol


And because of the salsa trials.. we missed some of ben's performance at Canava ...in Chijmes..
we proceeded to rest our feet and enjoyed some beer..
sch a nice atmosphere.. and yes althou the Hoobastank song :The Reason: was overplayed..
Ben wasnt keen on playing it..but he still sang it on request anywaz..
oh come on... its such a crowd fav..
one of those songs you can sing your heart out to regardless you are drunk or not ..;p
its nice too see smu ppl gathered in some place other then in class.. in kopitiam or in the toilet (which is where i end up meeting alot of friends incidentally~by that i mean my female friends ;p)


BEER ..its such a amazing useful thing..
makes you high..
warms you up
a conversation starter..
And best of all..
numbs you to terrible singing ..
which was why ..i bought more beer for myself when the second band after JetlaxXx came on.


Please// if you fancy yourself a rocker.. play rock tunes..
you cant think that bec pop has more mass appeal.. then you try and do some pop/rock mumbo jumbo
unless you happen to be ..ermmm ...Alien Ant Farm or someting..
~you cant have your cake and eat it !!
who.. you tell mi WHO plays a rock version of spice girls' 2 become 1 !!!
urgh !!
*in my beer haze*..i can imagine the rolling stones .. all having instantaneous heart attacks together..if they were there that night.. an amazing finale that would be ... *very drama* ..


ANYWAZ.. okie.. forget what i said.. im sure they have their share of fans.. ermmm i think i noe one of them *rolls eyes*
haha both bands are playing again this tuesday i think...Jetlaxa .. i stress will be playing at 10pm .. this time... soo no point going earlier yah ;p


~Hmm more abt Chijmes..
went there again on friday night..
haha i think me and sab are gg to set a tradition of having it as a drinking night ;p


~But friday nigth got off to a bad start when i fluffed my stretching exercise during Muay Thai
everytime i do 1 exercise wrong.. 10 squats for everyone..
damn ..i dnt noe we did how many .. my thighs still ache now ;p
i think i became very very black face..( i wonder how i look when im angry.. must be very ugly ..yucks)
johnny and sam were like... *are you okie.. its alright you noe.. we all dio it too*
but ..nah i wasnt angry with the instructor ... i was angry with myself !
i cant believe i did the stupid routine soo many times and yet i cant remember it ..
soo daff .. and everyone had to do the squats with me.. feel soo bad. :(


~but johnny was very nice in helping me with my techniques later.. he is truely very patient..
esp with someone who has no psychomotor skills and a short attention span.. like me..
maybe i can ask for some private lessons * ;p * lol


i tot i would be having dinner alone.. on a friday night !
when evryone had to leave after muay thai
but amazingly.. sab was gg to have beer with the er jun, ben and shuan in sch
hahaha
soo i trughed back to sch ..abit duh ..but .. who can resist some Stella Artois !!
we had a small drinking session at a gsr..and i was giving an impromtu massage service..
the whole set up seem sleazy man.. lol .... but its not...
i just wonder what would the Dean think if he happened to walk by ..


after the dive meeting started.. me and sab proceeded to cafe cartel to make a pig of ourselves..
too bad nobody else was ard to help us finish the food..*burps*
Oh man good food and beer... deja vu ...ehh sab..
we chatted until the dive meeting ended and met the dive com ppl at chijmes and proceeded to have more wine at Esmiralda..
now that is a totally diff drinking enviornment ;p haha
rustic wooden tables.. wine..garlic bread.. music playing in the background..
ahhh... provience spain perhapes ??


~soo there we were..stuffed... a little tipsy..
but when someone mentioned KTV... there were still enough survivals to band together to head dwn to orchard party world..
~singing till the wee hours of the morning..where i found that
* Dom.. is a regular KTV king ..wooo *claps* .. he does not need a tight underwear to hit those notes !!
* Jasmin, Jessen and me (Jaslyn) .cannot read chinese for nuts.. ahh is there a corelation there
* i am the only one that must sing with the singer's voice on..(all self respecting KTV-ers are out there shaking their heads..)
* sab has a cute voice when she is singing .. abit like my sis.. hehhe
* i still need more work on my "bei ai de nu ren" >> more tight underwear reinforcements
*ozzy is looking more and more like ben .. hmm... *raised eyebrows*


okei i shall not go on.. or ill kena whack..


ahh well. and soo the amazingly packed week ended with a weekend of mugging
kopitaim for meals both on sat and sun ..
how sad can that be *sniff*
but the weeks seem to be flying by..
its gg ot be week 5 and i still feel like i have just began.. hiaz.. damn wait for me..!!!!


:: ohh today is mid-autum fest::
mooncakes galore !!! yumzz chomp !!
~bishan park will be very prettily lit tonight
.. and i get the best veiw ...

cherry flavored dreamz

*groans*
body ache
all over
ohhh the pain !!! the agony !!


but all seems to be for naught..
cause i ate back what i burned at muay thai
all the suffering gone to waste
damn...


although good food, good company, good ambience was a nice way to spend friday night
guo teh dinner and beer with shisha after that...
unexpected company .. but delightful nonetheless


there we were ..trying to act like arabic shieks ..
i took a HUGE breath of cherry flavored smoke in
held it and breath it out..
but there was no smoke !! wtf did it go ...
i left with a tummy bloated full of cheery flavored smoke..
and noo... i did not fart out cherry scented farts.. *ewww*

lousy lah ..

i guess..im not up to being a oil-rich shiek
but .. a full beard and white robe is just soo not me either...
although finding one as a sugar daddy would be not soo bad a idea..


but baikun was amazing ...
he can make the smoke come outa his mouth, his nose, his ears ..
in torrents ..
sab says he looks like a dragon and we captured it on video..
ohh my.. hmm what were we thinking ..
lol



hmmm
but its such a feel-good expereince ..
beer and conversation late into the wee hours ..
too bad we dnt do this more often...
people just dnt seem to be connecting with other people anymore
a meal is a meal ..
we are all soo wrapped up in our own lives

but who can be blamed..
im sure the smu proffs are gg to be solely responsible for the death of a young rain forest with this term's readings alone.
quick somebody call Greenpeace !!!


Oohh talking about sch stress..
i dozed off today while waiting for a call
and... dreamt of Glenn Wharthon ... ~~~~
:: saw him at a school fuction .. racked my brain to say sumting to him ..since he is my spanish proff ... blurted a good morning.. when *horrors* its actually evening ... * he corrected mi .. i shuttered... and *ring*
a phone call woke mi up ...
damn..


i think it can be classified a nightmare..
like one of those we have before the day of our exams .. when we dream of failing our paper or our textbooks attacking us (im serious .. my friend had that dream before our physics paper)
never knew spanish causes such anexity to my subconcious ...
lol..
either that or i habour a crush on glenn .. soo secret that i dnt even noe abt it ..
*ewwww* ..
Noo......... never


there was another dream... but... its was too freakily weird ...even to write it dwn ..
*gossbumps*

Anwazz.. back to work ..
~lalalala
i wana dance~ i wana dance ~ i wana dance !!!
hiaz

Masks

a qoute that floated across the room from the TV caught my attention ::


" men find it hard to take down their masks .. while women put on too many masks "


my chinese translation skill is not too hot.. but im sure i got the gist ..
i went... omg
thats it ..isint it
such clarity of thought..
and all these while here we are trying to figure if men came from mars and women came from venus...


since we all come from this so-call planet earth ..soo how different can we be ??
i mean we go through life together, experience the same things, eat the same food...
but men and women realtionships seem to exist outside the boundaries of common sense..
it not just about biology....or hormones or ... time spent in the bathroom..


basically we can and we should be able to communicate with each other
but we just do not want to
we choose not to ..
we hide behind excuses of differences..
masks ..
for reasons only we know..


I have many ..
too many .. that everytime i take one off i find another one..
soo where is the real me..
maybe there is never one..
maybe they are all me ....

one big headache

no mood to party

possessiveness, paranioa and jealousy...

driving me up the wall

ridiculous accusations

as if anybody else will want mi..

hiaz

No Espanol ~~

Hola...
Sadly..I have to say adios to my 3 term pipe dream of learning spanish ... :(
Ahhhh ..si si
I just dnt have enuf edollars
and its nobody else's fault but mine ;p
~ for squandering my edollars on the likes of dear old TBS
.. i guess my skirt wasnt short enough ;p

School is into its second week and the most happening place is the library
says alot about our sch culture aii
Sadly the freshmen bash seems lackluster soo far
no buzz no excitment
and what kinda cheesy theme is Rendezvous??
urgh...
tacky !!!!!!
and it doesnt help that Hotel Rendezvous is right beside the school
doesnt seem very good if your event brings to mind a dubious 3 star hotel does it..


and it conjours up images of JC proms with themes like "starry night" or "retro night" ;p
with girls in dowdy Daniel Yam dresses and big hair looking like the 40 yr old aunties which the dresses were actually meant for...
~guys in loud shirts and even louder ties (their dad's) ...
with enough gel in their hair to brick the great wall of china..
the food is always bad (nobody actually eats it)
the music worse..
and the fashion of the teachers chaperoning ....worst...


but i guess that depends on which shcool you came from..
i noe SOME PEOPLE buy Hugo Boss suits for their prom..
ahh well..
but my prom wasnt all that bad...
I even had a prom date who actualy came to fetch me in a *gasp* mercedes...
taxi ;p


but anihow it was a real sweet move and very "high school"
~fulfilled my lifelong wish of being like a typical american teenager..
although noo.. it wasnt very romantic and i dint have get a corsage... ;p

thats what silly thoughts you get from watching too many movies

i dnt think my sch actually had a prom date tradition -- too cheena
most of the guys are soo "traditionally chinese"..i think alot of them still have the same mentality as my dad's generation about women ..
which is ..that we, women shd stay at home .. cook and be a good wife/mother/cleaner
.....
Men


I use to think that SMU guys are different
that they are more open minded
about things like having a wife that earns more than them ..
or who aspire to be a CEO
and that they are not intimidated or put-off by a girl that is better than them .. and more driven than them


But is that true ??
Or are the nature of men such that
they admire girls who are driven and successful and smart
they like to look at girls who dress daringly..
They enjoy talking to girls who are friendly and speak their minds


BUT when they have a girlfriend...
they expect the girl to dress more conservetively..
to be willing to stay at home to take care of the kids
to ease talking soo much to other guys
and be there when they are needed...


Are these acceptable sacrifices that a girl has to make ..
some do it galdly because they are willing to change for love
but what if you are not willing??
kh once asked mi ...
shouldnt people be willing to change for love??
or sumting along that line


I use to think ..yes..
that love is all powerful...
but is there a limit ??
how much are u willing to change yourself for the person you love
shd we accept each other for who we are...
or impose changes

ahh welll.....
Just wish they will outlaw Daniel Yam dresses from all proms ;p

_____Have You Ever ?_____

Have you ever been in love

Been in love so bad

You'd do anything to make them understand

Have you ever had someone steal your heart away

You'd give anything to make them feel the same

Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart

But you don't know what to say

And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one

You've dreamed of all of your life

You'd do just anything to look into their eyes

Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to

Only to find that one won't give their heart to you

Have you ever closed your eyes and

Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

Pick and Bite ...

hmmm that just doesnt sound quite right..
i mean ... pick and bite ???
sounds like very bad table manners or very bad hygiene ..
definately not appetising ;p


But ....
it has nice food non-the less
haha


Nice dim-sum-ish cusine .. in nice kopitiam setting
just that the walk there is nto that nice
it is not along the way to the anywhere unless u happen to be going to the library
which is not often ....


But i think this will change soon
need to study
need to be prepared
need to be on top of the game again ..


i can feel my body tinggling with anticipation
i can smell the scent of an academic challenge
ohhh...
a fight
*sadistic grin*
im ready
bring it on
*inspirational music ~always the theme song of Rocky~ plays in the background*
and i raise with flames in the background ....


ohh deja vu... isint that like soooooooo action hero


okie.. how lame *rolls eyes and looses them*


;p


ahh need some motivation
i feel soo unprepared
soo inferior a student
need to find back my confidence


but to feel good
you need to look good too
sooo ...
nooo moreeee full meals
im looking ... err fulll figured to put it very politely ..
since we are in a polite society
but i dnt mind if i get a honest answer for once
everytime i ask ppl if im fatter .. they say noo
ohhh please.. can u all stop torturing me and tell me the truth
it will make me feel bad
yesss....
but bad is good
because bad will make u angry
and in anger there is great power
and with great power comes from great responsibility...
~hmm opps... nope thats from spiderman..


let me try again
with great power comes
great force
hmmm a good jedi you will make ..


OKAY
the moon is rising
corny levels rising uncontrolably
i better log off
before i do anymore unrepearable harm to my blog
and my reputation
and any opinion of my sanity


ciao
adios
~i hope i get spanish
*crossed fingers*

Never Wana Live in Hong Kong

Wooo the worse trip of my life sadly
Hong KOng was NOT what i expected it to be
Either I dint pay enough attention to those Hongkie dramas or Jackie Chan really brainwashed me with all those visit HK campaigns ;p


10 reasons why i will never wana live in HK
1) Most importantly-- although their currency is weaker then Singapore's-- their standard of living is higher... everything except booze and dim sum is expensive ;p


2) On the same line .. their shoes are freaking expensive !! S$50 a pair on avg, on sale !!! WTF !!!..Charles and Keith seems heaven-sent in comparison. ~No self-respecting gal can survive without a huge variety of afforadable shoes ...


3) the air is thick and smoggy and hot ... walking out in the streets even breathing is a chore.. and when its not sultry hot... it pouring wet


4) your view is limited to as far as the next building -- or if you are short like me.. the next guy in front of you... castrophobia alert !!!
If you think walking along the takasimaya/ wisma linkway on a saturday evening is a nightmare, u havent walked along the streets of hk on a normal weekday .. it seems like the whole population of hk is out in the streets which is weird considering that if given a choice i would rather be hiding in the santuary of my air-conditioned hotel room.


And there seem to be some competition going on in the area planning commmittee-- "lets see who can cramp as many buildings in a streets as possible" -- no space is too small to be left alone.. god ... i was soo happy when i travelled inland into shenzhen... finally i see rolling hills and wide open spaces.. the sky !!! i never realised how much space, nature, clean air is so important to me. Maybe thats why i enjoy treking.. answering my own call of nature ;p


5) A fashion capital .. HK is NOT
1 word.. weird!! Yes.. they have alot of yummy foreign brands like missy sixty ... Yes ...they have alot of nice skinny gals .. soo why are they all hiding thier lithe bodies under many many layers of clothes with crazy colour coordination ... i get a headache just walking into some of their stores... ~*oww too ..many colours.. my eyes ..cant take it *


6) the customs is slower then Malaysia's.... u would have thought that Aisan.. Chinese people can tell other asians apart easier... pui ! The custom officer was staring at our photographs like we are usuing fake passports ... as if everybody is dying to stay in HK or China for that matter .. robin got it worse... just because his passport pic showed him with LONG hair... and now he has SHORT hair ... DUH!...


7) ... errr... ahh well.... i guess i was miserably sick too... thus making hk seem terribly horrible ~ whatever that means


Anywaz.... i am happy to be back
Singapore is not perfect... but for now its home
and its home sweet home for me .. :)

HongKong ~ here i come

Freaking not enough sleep from Smux camp..
Trying to print out my travel plans for my mum
woke up at 4 am to pack and prepare..
for a 8 am flight
*yawnz*
I hope its all worth it ...


Many things have changed in the relationship
Bec of a few unexpected news
Perhaps it is what we need
but i wished we could have taken a easier route
But im glad i am who i am to be able to make the decisions i need to make
This is a story i reserve for later to tell ...
maybe never ...


Anywaz..
HK awaits us ..
for better or for worse
lets hope i get my money's worth ...


~Will buy goodies back for everybody ..
*maucks*

oh bitter heart.. why do you bleed

Im sick of all these he says
you are squeezing me outa your life
no matter how hard i try
i just get indifference
I no longer look forward to see you
if you were my friend .. i wont even look you up
are you trying to slowly kill me
to force me to break up with you..


So do you still love me i ask
he says he is doesnt feel anything ..
he feels empty..
he is bitter...


a run along rosy route that turned into a long long walk
silence..
i couldnt think of what to say
my mind was a blank
empty .. of words... of emotions


am i indifferent to him
am i not happy to be with him anymore
am i treating him badly
ignoring his efforts to be a better
do i still love him


silence..
he taunts me to reply
my mind is still a blank
say something, i tell myself
there has to be an end
to be a conclusion here


but what do i want the ending to be
do i walk away and leave all this behind
do i ask for forgiveness


The choices in life that we are forced to make
why is life soo cruel


in the end i decided to do what is expected
to ask for forgiveness
to ask for time to change
to ask to wait till the hk trip is over
before we decided if we are fated to be


maybe a few days alone together could hep sort things out
maybe it will help put our relationship into perspective
the litmus test .. such pressure on a simple trip
meant for leisure


maybe
alot of maybes
one day the maybes will run out
what will be left of me


does he truly love me
or have i already turned his heart into stone
a bitter heart ..
a cold cold heart..
no longer will he bleed for me then
is that what i want ...


what do i want


my heart refuses to answer


fuck u
my heart says
you never listened to me anywaz..

I wana be lost.. to float alone free

*bliss*
did PPT the whole day..
the theme was >> laundry
made bubbles bubbling up the screen with sound clips
perfection in animation...
I wish i can make lots of $$ outa doing powerpoints.. ;p


Life has not been good..
i swear im getting fat..
cant stop myself from eating :(
miss the days when i have the discilpline to eat like a rabbit..
maybe ill try more drastic measures when i stop working..
more time to exercise everyday and away from evilll food..
i think a huge problem is bec i eat with guys...
i eat normal portions.. sometimes more...
~joel always tempt me with deserts ... ;p


im sure the next 2 weeks till the end of my internship will fly by
~like a jetplane .. *sonic hopefully.. soo fast that i cant hear it*
maybe ill wake up one morning and go... *hi... what day isit today?..
ohh its a monday ... and im here-- sunning my big fat butt in my bed*
~with the sun climbing soo high that the morning had gotten tired of waiting for me
leaving in disgust .. with only the afternoon to glare down at my sheepish face..
okie... i am balbbering.... *falls dwn to earth*


Hmm how come i am surrounded by soo many depressed guys??
What isit about life that is soo sianzz?
look on the bright side..
even if u have to craw outa ur shell, outa the ground and under that rock to see it
there is always more to life
i love life ..
and i wana live it to the fullest
i wana have no regrets .. to live for myself
and myself only
BUT in a society where humans have to interact
there are cumbersome things like social ties--
responsibility to ur partner, accountability to ur parents and repect for the law...


even thou we talk about right of individual freedom..
we are still bounded by soo many responsibilities to fulfill..
have the society evolved all these years only to have more and more societal rules weighting us down...?
If soo i would rather be back in ancient times..
wearing just animal skins
--*not bec they are in fashion* but no more a slave of fashion i will become.. i can wearing clashing prints ( leopard over zebra maybe) for all i care..*
or if i fancy i can prance ard naked.. thou i suspect it gets pretty cold out there in the wild..
I will be a mini Zena warrior and spend my time roaming ard ..
knocking cute Hercules types on the head and dragging them back to my cave..
no rules of courting.. just 3 simple steps--
swing, pull and rut and thankyou very much...
hmm here i go again


--soo many news recently --
but i just cant get myself to blog..
i think if i put my real feelings about my current state of affairs down, they will become a fact..
i dnt think i wana see them in balck and white
running away from my heart i am
but i have always been an escapists
i do not have the need for the real world now....


simin tempted me with a proposal to go exchange together ..
i think that seems just like what i need
an opportunity to get away and know myself better
i have this niggling feeling that i noe myself well enough
and my heart even better
but i suspect maybe what my brain comprehends is soo bad that it decided to shut me away from me ..
trauma induced mental block they call it


*yeah.. crap*


okie.. news flash -- the period of FuDa (u can guess lah who lah ) is over!!
-- they have broke up ..
a witness spotted her holding hands with another guy.. all lovey dovey
soo .. the hubby wunny honey tubby phase is over huh .. *snigger*
darn .. they soo deserve one another
2 suffering (delusional to say the least) fools who are only good for each other...
am i mean?? i noe im mean .. do u think im mean ?? hahahah


Anywazz so many things happened the past few days ..
Momo then DblO then Momo again..
in a moment of weakness ( i wasnt that drunk yet ;p) i got cajoled by a pushy model to take part in the Miss Tropicana (*rolls eyes* how cheesy) competition at Momo.. the freebies look good .. but i dnt tink i will go for the actual event ..cant imagine myself parading in a beach dress in front of a crowd...
maybe if i get drunk enough...
or if i can get some plastic surgery done for free...
or if the lights are dark enough..
or if they give me a million bucks (thats out..i dnt even think the prize $$ is half as much)
.... you get the idea......


saw The island and Sincity ...
SIncity was way cool...flim nior type.. abit of a comedy too..
its like a parody of the detective movies of the 50s ??
~where the characters do alot of their own narration...with cheesy lines and exeggerated actions
Jessica Alba is hot as usual yes yes *i can hear all the guys sighing in unison whenevr she comes onscreen*.. ;p
but to mi she has a very plain face.. soo unless she really flaunts her body ... she will not be a stunner to mi ;p


Scarlett Johanson on the other hand is damn hot ..
her lips are soo plush .. even i feel like kisiing them... wheew.... she looks damn sultry on the 8days cover...even better than the ugly FHM model ;p
BUT of course Ewan is still the cutest.. he looks older.. but still cute...nice lean *okey skinny* body ;)
i think its the accent .. makes me wana french the hell outa him.. yummy


--we had another "discussion" --
.. not 1 but 2 in the span of 4 days!!!
soo mentally tiring
so emotionally confusing
i think he has no one to vent his fustrations on..
soo he cao beh to me.. even thou i am the source of some of his fustrations
soo in the end he is cao behing abt me to me..
then i get fustrated..
i really really wish he will get more friends ..
he doesnt understand that some things you can only tell ur friends
he thinks im ludicrous for wanting to vent my fustrations in a blog or with a heart to heart wif my gfs ..
I guess im not so hot with this "communication is vital in a realtionship" thing ;p
*express your feelings-- my arse*
They never teach it in school leh..
how ???

Au Lait

ow do you pronounce that ??
*sheepish*
I asked for it at Royce during lunchtime at suntec... and it came out like " aww latte"
but the sales person pronounced someting else really fast i couldnt even catch it but nodz my heads anywazz...
Haha reminds me when i was in Europe >> nobody truly understood what the other was speaking ..but we got along anywazz...
Buying a train tiicket required a large amount of hand waving, mouthing words slowly and nodding...
Ahhh i love the feeling of bumbling around ..feeling slightly lost and having absolutly all the time in the world.
The feeling of walking along the streets of Paris with leaves drifting down ...makes me feel like im in one of those serious art flims .. with solemm music playing in the background>>


Anywas .. the chocolate (aww latte, au lat, ohh let ???) was absoultly divine.....
soo soft and smooth and slightly bitter but with no aftertaste..
yummy and the whole packaging was gorgeous..
i think the japanese really know their packaging, somehow even their hair gel can look soo elegant and enticing..maybe i shd go there on exchange ot learn more about marketing and branding ;p


after working at Kao for some time, i realise i enjoy packing stuff >> i like to make things look attractive.. more than the normal promotional initiatives like thinking about how much discounts to put, whether to the product will sell more in loyalty packs... everyday exercises of selling a product.
I wish i took art and continued into designing :(
I am soo confuse now.. i have no idea what career path i wana take..
Maybe PR .. maybe MR ..maybe just R&R ( be a tai tai )
The only thing im sure of is that i wana have a succeeful career and make lots of $$ ( dnt we all !!)


Haizz..
i am soo brain dead now..
wil go for a long slow jog to clear my head ....

Evil Taxi Companies - The Empire has struck back silently

Late today again :( the run yest really shag mi out
~sadly no rainbow to console me
coped a chocolate from the fridge to make the ride more enjoyable..


absolutly ridiculous taxi driver..
kept asking me which road i wana take
I said take the fastest one ( duh)
he said he doesnt dare to commit ...later sala ....ask mi to choose
WTF -- aii i called for a taxi lor.. im the passenger .. not the driver.
like that must well I drive the cab right??
grrr.... im such a road idiot
~ i dnt noe the PIE from the CTE from the back alley
thus its very fustrating when the taxi drivers are soo ham ji and do not wana take the responsibility of taking the "correct" route.
Oii ..please have some proffesional pride can .. you should noe the roads better than i do.. ;p


Anywaz.. was browsing through my new book on the cab
~happiness
A complilation of the 5 Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy series...
bwahahhaha.... i have always wanted to own them all..
Ken was the one that introduced me to Douglas Adams.. and i am forever grateful .. *prostrate..thankyou thankyou kisss your toes*
I have never been much of a book buyer.. more of a book borrower..*cheapskate lah*
BUt now i find the library stocks pathetic and there is a stronger sense to have books that i really enjoy reading by my side...
I have always had cupboard loads of books at home.. my mom's collection >> then it dawned on mi one day as i contemplated moving out of my home sweet home >> those books do not belong to me .. >> i will have to start my own collection which i can bring with me and share with my kids in futhure>> :)


Thus for the past 2 years i have been adding bit by bit to my book shelve
~now a single shelve .. soon... the whole bookcase !!!
I cant imagine a life without books..
Im particularly geeky in the bookworm sense..
i can eat and read.. walk and read.. shit and eat ..>>err u get the idea
It is my main form of escapeism..
i escape alot ..in that sense im a coward..i cant face the real world without my dose of fiction
i hope i dont seem all that weird to people


Anywazz... more on my buys ::
SHopped for sissy's prezzie yesterday at bugis...
a nice boho chick necklace :: blue beads with fake metal coins type..
and it can act as a belt too .. :)
I noe she has been talking about getting that boho look >> from reading her blog
and i noe its soo hard to attain it .. bec the acccessories costs a bomb..
soo this would be my little contribution
plus i can borrow it when i need it too * evil glint in the eye..wrings hands*


BUT.. im thinking of adding someting else to that prezzie too.. maybe some nice chocolates?? Royce ? or treat her to some nice desert somewhere
but she is soo busy recently..bec of her council.. :( we talked less liao.. and she seems pissed more often.. maybe its teens angst or just PMS ;p


hahah oh yah .. and i havent recieved MY bdae prezzie from her yet ..
duh... it was in May lor..
she said she wana get a few parts .. now she is up to 3.. havent finish getting them all yet..
right....
keep adding to that and hopefully i can get it for my 23rd..or 24th ....hahaha


Went shopping with DL for her bikini the on wednesday .. hahh
Very challenging bec her budget was quite tight ;p
im a roxy fan lah.. soo i dnt get very inspired when i see like 20+ dollars bikinis :(
but.. we did see a nice one. at far east *very retro* ... did u buying it dl??
but i must say .. i envied the ample chest you gained fr US ..hahaha
noo not fr plastic surgery .. * i think* .. more from good old rice and potatoes right :P
hahah
I am soooooo self-conciously flat..sighzzzz...
I blame my mum.. and my kids will blam me tooo :P urgh...vicious cycle of the badly endowed
maybe i shd find a husband who has good genes
before agreeing to marry the guy must first scrutinise his mum's chest .. haha!!!
OMG how pervertic...
and better if he is tall and lean and good looking ~ *okei i can continue dreaming*
The worst thing is im not overall skinny
i wish i was .. like model thin .. then the chest size is justified..
ppl dnt go like :: eww. she is flat chested..
they will go like:: oh..its okie what .. she is soo thin..
its all about relativity right>> ;p


Oh yah i digressed...
while shopping for dl's bikini.. i gave in to temptation and bought 2 !! not 1 but 2 !!
short crop jackets !!!
its a nice new shop ..the guy designs the clothes himself...i will definately go back again..bec ..i got a member card !!! hahhaah*
i think the guy was soo happy he threw in a sequined flower brooch at a discount
haha... hiayah i cannot make it....but they both look sooo nice..
will put a pic of them online when i can ;p
AND i spent more than dl when we are in actual fact shoppoing for her..
faint*


I was never a shopping person..
i guess bec i have always been a fat kid.. i never really like to buy clothes.. i mean..if u look ugly in everything whats the use of buying them right??
somehow while on the Barcelona BSM>> i just got bitten by the shopping bug..
and i have bec uncontrolable ever since :P
robin says i get a glazed look in my eyes when i shop
machiam like possesseed like that.. ;p
maybe i shd go for therapy >>
is there a Singapore Shopping Annonymous out there???


*help*
~waves credit card around desperately~

dreams of wala wala

Yunfeng is CUTER then ever!!!!...*swoon*


There ...i needed to get that off my chest..and put it down in black and white
~even in the hazy gloomy setting of wala wala .. he is even more mesmerizing..


*I dnt think it was the beer*
......i hope

Taurus <3 Taurus

Jaslyn, the best Zodiac Match for your personality is Taurus


Taurus, the Bull (April 21 to May 21): This warmhearted and determined partner is just your type. Initially, a Taurus may catch your eye with a romantic gesture or their penchant for having a good time. But as you get to know them, you're even more likely to be drawn to your Taurean's unwavering devotion and dedication. People born under this sign typically know what they want out of life and stick by the decisions they've made. This devotion to their own truths can make members of this sign seem stubborn or critical at times. However, know that most Taureans are also sentimental types who like to focus on their romantic relationships. In the bedroom, you're apt to find that the Bull is a creative and expressive lover with a high sex drive. It's just another aspect of their vital nature, one that finds pleasure in everyday things and has an eye for beauty.

Naked truth .. i am not happy ..

I love mondays ...
hahhh yeah right.... only bec it would mean its closer to the end of my internship !!!
I cant wait to go Hong Kong (but Kayboon is suggesting that we join him at Shang Hai) !!!
However its saddening that typically -- everybody bang seh us..
soo it looks like its me and robin again ... ;p
ahh welll... I dunoe if I will enjoy going overseas with him .. after Europe ;p
He just gets soo up-tight about being in a foreign environment.


The MRT was crazily packed again today and I found myself squashed diagonally bewteen a leary looking old man, a fat inconsiderate aunty( who kept poking her bag into my ribs), a weird looking guy with BO and someone i cant see behind me.. urgh!!!
I hate the morning crowd, i hate coming into close proximity with people i wouldnt even come within 5 m of in normal circumstances.
With no space to read a book, we are all forced to look preoccupied and try not to look at each other's eyes.... and make a slow and painful count down until we reach our stop. ;p
Can imagine how it will be like traveling to school everyday in the morning.. ~sighz


Anywazz.. my head have been sooo F* up recently...
too much things to think about... the relationship..
I realised that our views about life and how a relationship should unfold seem to be different.
I guessed it never occurred to us when we are very happy with no issues at hand
but whenever an issue pops up, no matter how small, there will be disagreements
althou in the end one party might give in.. there will be unhappiness harboured


But what abt now.. when it involves something more close at hand??
Individual freedom..
who will be willing to give in??
Should a couple be given space to grow on their own??
Do i have to tell him everything that i want to do.
Do I have to consider him in all my decisions..


A simple thing like when i just mentioned to him that i wana go backpack with simin.. maybe to south america.. and we can check out the nudist beach..
and he goes.. WHAT without me!!..
apparently he expects me to want to travel everywhere with him..
to do everything with him...
to want to spend all my time with him...


Then he goes on abt how he seems to be the one putting effort in the relationship
and i dnt make him happy when he needs me the most
and he doesnt feature in any of my plans


I tried to use logic and go like..if u dont feature in my future, do u think i wana plan my timetable with you, to bid lessons with you, to wana go HK with u .. >>
and he said - thats not it, you dnt even wana spend saturday nights with me. And you wana go Muay Thai and you wana chiong and you wana go out with your friends.. where am I ??
>> and i go like I tot i see a lifetime with you.. why are bothered about the little things now..
and he said the little things are what matter...
and I dnt see your future with me inside... i tried ... but i dnt..
and he goes.. would you be better off being single >>


.. no respons from me..
bec i really dnt noe...
its scary when after you have committed yourself to spending the rest of your life with someone
suddenly... you are faced with the possibility of that not happening anymore.
Of an uncertain path...
Im not sure if i wana take that path...


Somehow. We are so different in terms of views .. he is so conservative, so law abiding. He likes to judge people easily based on the surface facts.
Simple things like:: if i say like i wana get a tatoo ... and you can see his face change..he thinks tatoos are for "bad people" .. oh gosh.. which century are we living in???


And today..i woke and found love bites on my neck. WTF, i need to go to the office !!! I specifically said already... i do not like to have visible love bites... it seems like im branded.. soo degrading... and what if my boss sees them.. ill be damn paiseh...
He said sorry .. spur of the moment.. but its like .. he does not respect me enuf...
its something very fundamental right???


I dnt noe.. am i not seeing the big picture clearly or the small picture or whatever...
i dnt noe abt how this relationship will go
i dnt even noe if i wana spend the rest of my life with him liao
i need some time to think .. to find in myself what are my true feelings for him..
now there is just too much external stimuli .. work stress and other distractions like vivace...


gg to have lunch with him later...
but it seems pointless to talk through things any more .. bec he always dwell on the same things..and they do not get resolve..
because we are both not backing dwn from our stands..
a standstill... static... unmoving... lodged in the chasm of a crack in our relationship


Almost like a western movie.. a shootout at noon
*du du du du du ... du du du *
Silhouette against the sultry sun .. arms bended in readiness…
The last man standing....

Ovaltine Overdose.. and gourmet fantasies

Heee..
My drink of the mo :: Ovaltine 3 in 1 ::
Its been a long time since I have last tried it ... way back in Primary school probably..
With a sudden bout of nostalgia i had picked up an ovaltine 3 in 1 pack and bought it on a whimp while grocery shopping with robin.


Hah grocery shopping on a sunday, how domesticated right? I almost feel like one of those young married couples doing their weekly shopping at NTUC-- so typically Singaporean , so predictable.... so mundane.... ;p


But I love grocery shopping, seeing aisles upon aisles of food makes me happy, there is always the urge to grab a trolley and fill it up with goodies. I love browsing at all the delicious looking biscuits and snacks and cooking sauces and wondering if i should buy them to try. Although I usually leave the place empty-handed, I just enjoy imagining myself buying them and how they would taste like...
Sometimes ... when Im feeling rich or greedy I would give in to the temptation ... and the feeling of buying a treat for myself .. fills me up with an inner child-like glee.


The best place to indulge in my grocery fantasies:: Marcs and Spencer. hahh.. The classy packaging makes their food look absolutly to-die-for. Its the whole clean white deco plus lucious looking images of their products. The best thing is that their food is really as good as it looks. Damn ...I feel hungry just thinking about it.


Preparing and eating food can be such a sensual affair, i think we can get as much pleasure from delicious food as from sex.. although many might disagree... but i guess sex is healthier since u get a workout while you just get fat from eating too much rich food ;p
That is why I enjoy wathing Nigela's (not sure if spelt right) cooking show. There is a lazzy sensual attitude towards food, that arouses and awakens one's senses. Although there are accusations of her trying to sex up her show for rating purposes.. i think her detractors are just prudes- lemmings who all jump to agree once a "authoritative" opinion is given- a fallacy quciksand.


It's not like she prances around the kitchen in nothing but an apron..although im sure some viewers wouldnt mind that... I mean first a stripping news reader.. whats next right. She is in fact always modestly covered.. in long sleves tops and floor length skirts....but nothing can hide her "motherly" curves i guess....

In the end its not soo much a cooking show.. its more like a lifestyle program where people like me become voyagers in a gastronomical wet dream....


a huge box of decadently sinful Godiva chocolates or a night of hot sex


...you decide...

I can singggg a rainbowwww ..sing a rainbow........too

:: a sight for sore eyes::
woke u up late again today !! 2nd time this week and its only wednesday... ;p
hahah.. took a cab dwn to work..
$10++ flew from this poor intern's pocket ;p


The only consolation~
i saw the most beautiful, magnificent, huge rainbow ever in my life...
In full technicolour.. a wide arch gracing the sky..
Visible all the way from Bishan to Beach Rd...
Amazing...
A Rianbow at its most complete...
I could see all 7 (okie maybe 6.... err 5..??) colours clearly...
Makes me wana break into a song..with birds flying around me~ A La Disney
And soon everybody along the street will start singing with me and I will dance with the taxi uncle until i reach my office..
*ewww.... scratch that thought.. too Bollywood liao*


Anywaz.. i felt wonderous in the presence of the beauty of nature.. its magnitude makes my day .. my life seem insignificant... just another day that will fade in history..
Soo I shouldnt be too stress abt work.. about coming late to work and about presenting to my boss later..


Haha F* it i say to myself...*tossing my notes aside*
I shall keep a grin on my face today as prance around the office pretending Im F*ing Snow White (or more politically correct err Mu Lan ??)
.................lalalalalala lalalalala......................

Some bird's nest soup for my soul

*burrrrpppp*
oniony breath now... and bursting outa my new hot pink mango pants..how unlady-like;p
hmm my appetite is pretty unlady-like too...
melvin jioed us to eat at Carl's Jr today.. reminising of his experience in US..
wow ..the portions are really US size.. burgers are like almost the size of my face!! ..overflowing with lovely fillings :)
i had a beef paty, with bacon, with cheese with veg with guacamole burger..
hmmmm a sin every bite.. i love guacamole.. always heard about it in movies and books..
it really has a nice rich, savory taste :)


i scoffed the whole burger with onion rings and coke.. oh mann i felt like the guy in Super Size Me.. robin almost gave up halfway thru his burger..hehe... i think i am such a pig.. normal girls wouldnt have finished the meal ..;p


soo here i am ..stuffed.. and feeling really guilty .. vowing to run like hell later as a punishment.. (i wish there was someone with a whip running behind me all the way..preferbly someone ugly soo i got motivation to run like hell...)
;p feeling quite bad too that i havent written on the blog for a while.. mel was jus asking abt it the other day..haha..


the past few days had its ups and dwns ..like a rollercoaster ride ;(
except not as fun ..


::last sat clubbing was quite fun.. finally met a guy on the dance floor that knows how to move his body ..in the hip hop sense...
~ no mindless jerking of various body parts like some other guys.. ;p
Hope i will see him again.. declined to give him my no.. he is not that.... cute ;p
But mel mel mel.. NO MORE DRINKING for u ahh.. ;p haha everytime you drink..you dnt stop.. heheh.... ;p


::robin is reallly demanding my attention..hiaz... he threw a hissy fit when he heard i was on the phone the other day with alvin ;p hiayah.. people's sister just died!! Cant i talk to him abit.. to see how he is ???..


~ "why? he dont have other ppl to call meh, why must call u ??" and "I thinkhe is trying to hit on u" ...
>>> urgh... i make the concious effort to see him for dinner more often liao..and he says its not enuf. Then i ask him what is enuf?? Then he say.. "like back when u were totally devoted to me" Blah!!! .. that isint helping me much
>>> worst thing is that this conversation repeats ever soo often with him accusing me of not making him feel important enough
>>> sobz ... this dejavu is worst then the Matrix...worst then Ground Hog's Day..worst then.. err forget it.. but im soo fustrated.. i was afraid that he will be like that when i just got together with him.. its only now when i get to test the boundaries that i see that he is really a jealous bf type..
;p


:: the boss has dropped more work on me ... more stress.. my life feels abit F* up right now ;p With my ever worsening cough... i think i have broncitis or TB or sumting.. plemgh in my lungs.. mayeb ill just die a slow painful death.. it feels like it now anywaz..


:: I went on a heavy duty "bu" session yest ..in my bid to inprove my health..
I bought some bird's nest and snow jelly from a chinese medical hall yest.. and had turtle soup for dinner. PLUS a liang Cha drink ..hehe...abit overboard ..but.. im desperate :(
>>> In a sense i feel better after that, like the body has more energy.. They call it improving the "qi". I think chinese medicine does work in a slow and gentle way :) .. but it does not have immediate effects like western medication
..thus my cough is still present..and sooner or later i think ill cough my lungs out.. follwed by my gall bladder and my stomach and my intestines....;p
wow i can almost imagine the sight.. pretty cool.. in a gross way ..i shall do it in the middle of the lunch crowd.. maybe will indcue others to retch their lunches out to acompany me ;p


:: and on to more perverse stuff..
I saw ladies queuing up outside mango today during lunch..haha bec today is THE MANGO SALE!!! haah.. crazy..
>>>melvin said he saw ppl queuing outside since 8.30 in the morning...wah lau.. also not like they are giving the clothes for free..anywaz... shoping during sale season is kinda disgusting and fustrating... soo crowded.. soo long queue.with .all the clothss shrewn all over the place.. blah! spare me
>>>Shopping is about the whole experience ..of taking the leisure to pick your clothes slowly..and trying them on without people pushing and shoving in front of the mirror..and friendly staff...and being able to find the right size that is BRAND NEW..
i dread the words... "sorry all our stocks are on the racks".. or "sorry this is our last piece"
And you end up looking sadly at the forlorn peice of cloth.. which many people had pulled out of shape and smudged makeup on ..with all the losse frayed treads swaying in the wind *taunting you..daring you to buy that last item*...
i can almost imagine tragic music playing in the background... brings tears to my eyes... sniff..


:: Oh I got my tahan trekking pics from melvin finally.. but i dnt think i will put any on the blog lah.. dnt think anyone will be interested to see mountains and dirty looking people and the half naked guys...
wait..!! half naked guys?? haha not hot ones lah.. soory to dissapoint ..
err more love handles than washboard abs.. hhee


~~quick come back DL
..with lots of delicious Krispy Kreme dougnuts ~~

Apple Wanabe- i pod Wanahave

*cough!!!*
Urgh !! my cough is driving me nuts. I am even coughing as i run. Which causes a huge msucle strain at the chest and a perpetual headache. The good thing is that people in front of me can hear me from very very far away and xiam one side to let me pass. But even sooooo... they must be thinking ive gone bananas.. running in teh middle of the night when i sound like i am going to have an asthma attack right in front of them. hiazzzz...


This cannot go on. So i have set a resolution to take better care of my wreked up body to cure this cough. ;p It usually comes when i have late nights, stressful days and a junk food diet. So i have vowed to sleep earlier, drink more tonics and abstain from :: chicken, egg, caffine, cold drinks, very heaty or cooling foods:: (as suggested by the TMC doctor).
So please help me>> anytime you see me eating/drinking sumting i shd not-- just wack me real hard.. ill wack you back (natural self defence, boh pian) ...but ...at least you have saved my health ..what are friends for huh.. ;p


Cant do much about the stress part- thanks to my lovelyyyy boss ;p
Its easy to know when my body is stress... other than this freaking cough, my neck and shoulders become rock solidd. Huge knots of muscle form ard the shoudler area. You will need an industrious massager to get rid of them, maybe one of those huge rolling machines for road works... or an army of big strong men...hmm that sounds preety good actually...


Anywaazzz.. had a good run nevertheless... but i really must get an ipod.. or a mini !!!!
Its getting really fustrating to run and listen to Class 95 love songs...
Its okay if they are playing angst-filled songs by Bon Jovi or nice Popish upbeat songs.
I can sing my heart out (okay mouth the words at least..) and run.
But how the hell am i suppose to run to " Tonight I celebrate my love for you.."
Groanz... it plays havok to my pacing and makes me feel stupid running ..
~thinking :: I shd be snuggled in bed, fresh from the bath with a hot drink at hand ::


I neeeeed to get a MP3 player full of fast-beat funky songs that will make me run faster ;p
It embaressing to slow dwn and then see an Uncle with a beer belly overtake you *yucks*
SIgh sigh sigh... if only i get paid 1000$$$ a month like some internnnnnsss ... * pui !*

ooddles of tea

*hmmm* i love hot tea... actually i love hot sweet drinks in general.
Its my weakness .. maybe i was an englishwomen in my past life. That would explain my fondness for tea, scones and dianty china (as in dining ware not the country).


Anywazz... still nursing a slight headachy buzz in the head, Jeffery says its the leftover of my hangover (hmm by george..it rhymes!!..) but i had indignantly claimed its from slack of sleep. Hmf, I belive that my body is capable enough to clear such an insubstantial amt of alcohol in 1 day, thank you very much ;p


BUt that insubstantial amt of alcohol did cause me one hell of a hangover the day before ;p
Which was the reason why i had selpt through most of sunday and thus making today not officialy count as monday - according to my internal body clock. Which is why i am not having the blues today. (im suffering from time-lag, my body does not comprehand that im suppose to do work now, that is why i am blogging- no use confusing my body lah ;p)


Last saturday at Devils was pretty interesting: the music was decent, the 3 of us- melva, yining and me scored a record no. of pick ups, there were cute guys giving us free booze and there was a floor show (fat lady with g-string showing and nerdy gal sans bra with nipples showing doing some really dirty dancing on the pole) i couldnt decide whether to puke or laugh.. decided to drink more beer before i decide.


By the 2 glass, it was getting pretty funny and i dared teddy (i think..im not so hot wif names) to get the gal dwn when he ask us to dance up there instead. In the end, the gal really came dwn and he tried to run away, the others placated her with a beer and dragged teddy back to her. A-fucking-mazing she actually thought teddy was interested in her. I am loving her ego man.. or maybe i shd ask her where she got her mirror...


Although the guys were nice and above average cute and hunky..beefy guys are just not my cup of tea... (hmm tea again..) Im not much of a carnivore..;p i like my meat lean and organic.. (yumz ..no artificial steriods please)
There was one of their friend that looked promising thou :: striped polo tee with sunglasses perched on the head.. yes yes poserish i guess... and very ben tay (eww..no i DO NOT like ben tay that way).. but i never got to know his name and he was rather dao anywaz.. chey.. *turns nose upwards*
Another worthy of mention:: There was also this unbeliveable guy that said he was shy and insisted to get my number from melva so he can msg mi "hi"--i think its a cheap ploy to get my no.-- ... whadayah think.. (but he was cute lah ..sighz wasted..)


Anywazz even thou i ended up puking again !! i dnt regret the dancing.. after the huge dinner i had on saturday night..maybe the puking helped me loose some weight too :p
Robin's friend treated us to dinner at Essential Brew in Holland V.

Note:: it is a nice place to chill with cusions and low tables and nice drinks and not-bad food. Stduents get 20% discount. Check it out when u need a place with nice ambience yah :) ::

Jack is his name..just recieved his first pay and since it was his bdae, he decided to treat all 6 of us to a meal.. how nice and generous.. he is single by the way..any gal interested?? Rich he is... hahaha His friend who owned the place baked him a big oreo cheese cake...it was really rich and oreao-ish. hehe... (i wish i could dunk the whole cake in milk.. hmm...but they dunked it in his face in the end ;p what good friends they are..)


That was why i felt like a stuffed pig and had enuf energy to club till 6 am when devils closed. A first for me. ;p it dint even felt like 6am ;p but i was felt so sick that i juz konked out at yinig's house ;p haha woke up to find myslfe sleeping beside her mum. HOW embaressing ;p
AND robin was angry i dnt message him my whereabouts. Woohooo.. he actually dreamt that i spent the night at some guys house and woke up screaming ..heheh accoring to him lah... i think he is getting overly paranoid..soon he will start spying on me ;p (goosebumps)


Anywazz.. yes my writing time-line is abit convolted -- i guess becasue i havent written for many days liao..i just write whatever comes into my mind...


Ohh saw Khar Hau on sunday night on my way back home from dinner. I was happily walking along J8 when someone shove a phamlet in front of my face, i thought : who is this F*ing rude salesperson. Then i saw him..chey.. he is one crazy fellow>> interning and part timing at corriander leaf rest. AND at starhub roadshows too!!
Is money soo important that you do not wana rest and have a bit of fun after work?? Where got life ??? Like that how can find gf ..hiayozzz ..( shakes head in moterly dissaprove) ..not healthy lah.. the bike is like his wife..


Hmmmm shal end here lahh too long winded already...need to get more tea... (cheerios)

*brommmmmm* goes the dark cloud-- i smell rain

*fuck*
The dark cloud is perpetually over me now. I wonder what isit like to be cheerful and lighthearted again ;p


Just like the Pearl Harbor, i was happily cruising through my last half hour of work when the "little boss" appears. Soo suddenly outa nowhere (just as i was telling my friend how boring my day was)and the bomb was dropped ;p *kahboom*


No matter how many allies coming to my aid, there is no way to bail me outa this f*king debrie filled water.. all the way up over my F*ing head. Soo here i am trying not soo much to swim but more to surface for oxygen ;p *glop glop*


Basically he told me what i did wrong, kept interrogating me on the basis of my decisions, * i was sitting there sweating, ready to tear my hair out, wanting to shout "im just a freaking intern.. a little help here !!!!"" * gooshhhh I pity his kid next time... with his KGB like interrogation skills, his kids will prob spill their guts out volunterily every time they did something wrong ("its me, i did it, no more, i can take it no more......."). Even i was ready to go mental... maybe im just freaking inept at what im doing...damn... i feel soo uselesss


Groanz .. remind me again what am doing trying to market a cleaning brand .. i dnt even clean my own room .. least to say my own house... urgh... anywaz..so i have this huge load on my back and i need to think of sumting soo totally creative, soo totaly brilliant but yet soo realistic and practicle... in a few days time. Shit shit shit shit shit .... ohh heavens above give me some inspiration ..either that or strike me dwn with a bolt of lighting .... ;p blah


Robin is not helping.. for sum reason he has suddenly turned into the over protective bf mode.. soo clingy, says wana fetch me home fr clubbing, wana meet ALL my new male friends, wana spend more time with me... whining about how i dnt love him anymore... god!!! i feel soo smothered ... cant breath ... *huffhuffhuff*


i am the type of person that goes more outa control the more u try to control me. Soo
THE lesson is ::dnt try too hard...too soon .. or ill shut u out of my life...::


Makes me feel like i have a 3rd parent to pacify. Hmm i dnt even bother about my parents... and now i have another one to nagg at mi... and when he is not being a parent.. he is being a child... pouting and crying for attention... urgh.. men..puke puke *maybe i shd be a lesbian*


Hmm hope i can find sumting to make me happy again....


Blink goes the Phone (stirring in its hibernation, aware of its surroundings but not reacting... it just wants to sleep ....silently...yet another quiet day)

Phone shows signz of live * ahh there is still hope*

Okies its late and I have eye bags the size of my backpack to Europe but i shall write 1 last entry before I go to bed ...


CY's logic :: Sleep are for beauties.. thus I do not need it ::


>>Anywazz I would just like to state that my previous post was abit melodramatic lahhh.... puffy eyes and a bloated tummy makes me melanchonic :( *had to squint the whole bloody day ;p how not to feel tragic??*


>>I had poured all my negative thoughts out and am feeling lighter in the heart liao..
Having channeled all my negative karma into the previous post...soo all of u read at your own risk...;p


>> ALvin called from Taiwan :) .. good to know that he is safe and sound and the exercise was not that bad after all..
"fun lah, like an adventure" so he said
-- the same person was dreading to board the plane a week ago.. amazing ..but good to know that my tai yang bings will be returning on shedule ;p cant wait.. hurry back !!! yumz~~
-- forgotten how his voice have this very hoarse timber that is soo soothing and sexy.. coo ... he shd work part time for those chat lines-- provide phone sex to bored office women and earn big bucks... *hmm*
-- sadly the sexyness is limited to the voice. period.


ANd now my phone has lapsed back into coma.. its twikling blue light is the only sighz of a pulse.. blinking on into lonely night... *bleep*

the little boy's sister.. soo cute.. she went around kissing us non-stop .. and shared her desert with us-- fullerton has a seperate kiddie's meal for the wedding dinner : wowz

making the most of mummy's ang pao $$.. drinking enuf wine for the 4 of us
but of course must smell the wine first right..i got take wine apreciation course one okie ..;p

robin looking very bored ;p Zzzzzzz

Gift- a packet of rose tea. The card wrote :: put it in water and watch the roses bloom:: ohhhhh how sweet ;p BUT where is my chocolates !!! every wedding has chocolates ;p *pout* *stomps feet*

hehe the couple entranced with a song .. how impressive.. my my .. i feel the pressure liao.. ;p

Preetty arrangements at the recep area:: how romantic :: setting the mood even before dinner began

we invaded the bridal suite to help the bride dress.. but more like enjoying the nice room and take lots of pics ;p

recep area at the fullerton.. my little cousin tinkling on the ivories.. how cute.. he looks pro alreay

Coco Puff Eyes..

Puff* ..came to the office with swollen eyes today... and why ??
Because I cried yest night ;p
And why ...
Because the wedding was soo romantic... he serenaded her with "love me" and they sang 2 duets by the way)


U think!!!
Of course not lah... I where got soo sissy one..chey
Its because I had a long talk with robin yest night
He accused me of being lousy company at the wedding dinner-- said i was running around and leaving him by himslef. I was like, how, you soo boring why should I stay with you. When i can play with my baby cousins ( whom i dont often get a chance to bond with).
Then what you expect me to do, stay with you and be bored to death the whole dinner? Haizz so okie, i have been thoughtless, for not thinking about how out of place you will feel and staying with you to make you feel better. BUt stillll... you come to the wedding with a black face liao, you expect me to be happy to see you ?? Good fucking job ..


Haizz... then we started talking and he was saying im not making him feel secure and how my emials have dwindled BUT he UNDERSTANDS because he felt very sian when he is working too and he NOW knows how I felt when he had no interest in what i was saying, when he is sian because of work, when he black face and I had to bare with it.. he UNDERSTANDS it all because he is going through what I went through and he is try to be a better man...
yah i wish him all the best .. Soo was that suppose to make me feel guilty or better?>>>


I just cried.. huge grieving sobs.....too much pent up emotions in me for too long ... I left my ex because I tot robin would make me happier, instead i ended up with more heartache.. no boy/man have ever cried so many times in my life before. I have often wanted to walk away many times.. as recent as during my Europe trip.. every time i go>> what am i doing with this man .. but i never left >>> i dunoe why . Isit because i love him too much, or am I a coward, or am I just waiting for sumone better to show up..>>


How on earth did i end up with someone sooo gloomy, pessimistic, mean, antisocial, disilluded, childish, bad tempered, emotional?? When I like being around people and am eternally optimistic. My life has become darker since I knew him... :(
People say: "he is so funny, he is soo nice" and yah I told him--" i like you best when you are around your best friends, because that is when you are at your cheeriest, wittiest and most relax". He said, friends- you only show the good side, but lovers- you get to see both sides.


Ahh soo, isit fair that you show your worst to the people you love, shouldnt you want to be the best for them and not leave the VIP treatment to your friends. I have suffered through so many black faces, sulky treatment and snide remarks (he can make a person feel soo stupid and small sometimes) that i am very tired..sometimes i dnt even feel like trying anymore..


He said he doesnt want to lose me and that he will change... I hope that it is not too late..because my heart feels like its hardening already.. not totally frozen yet ..but to be able to warm it up again will require some effort from both sides..


He truly makes me happy when he was the old robin that surprises me at my work place, that made laugh everytime we meet, that would fetch me no matter where i was, that brings me out for supper late at night, that was exciting to be with....


They say guys change when they get the girl>> how true. Like that then what is the use of courtship when you are not sure what type of person he will become after you all get together.


I shall not write anymore or ill start crying agian in the office-- then it will be fucking emberassing--and people will noe im not doing work.;p


He said he will change-- that is what he keeps saying>>
i pray for faith in love and strength to sustain this relationship
since i am a free thinker... err i pray to any higher being who will listen


Anywazz..this is meant to stay in this blog, please do not try to talk to him about it..it wil only make matter worse .....thanks my sistas.. muacks..

Amazing ...soo many Kois at the Fullerton hotel, and they all come with mouth gaping open when i put my finger into the water.. hmpf i think the hotel doesnt feed them :( i wish i hadsome bread crumps with me ;p 

finally got to take a pic with the very busy bridesmaid... she gets to hold the bride's train.. lucky gal ;p  

back at the jing cha ceremony .. her husband (his chineses/german/ dunoe what else).. looks like a pastor right ..haha.. his mum made him comb his hair up to look taller.. soo duh..