Chocolate Caliente

Almost there but getting nowhere

2011-01-25T11:58:00.003+08:00

A sense of haunting overcame me

There is thunder in our hearts

2011-01-17T21:34:00.001+08:00

jester frolic monocle

2011-01-17T20:54:00.005+08:00

Again we met mid sentence
synchronised synapse of brain matter
circuits wired alike

Rejoinders perfectly matched
the jokes always finished together.

ba dah bing ba dah bom

In those seconds, i knew you are the better half
cause you always typed it out first

who's the joke on now

colombo

be careful

2009-12-15T00:37:00.003+08:00

Its 12 midnight

sappy ballad playing in the background..

the air is heavy and hot

i'm rubbing my bare feet on the carpet

creating static

The mood is just right.

where can I be?

... but in the office of course

Some nights are made for these
quite cogitation
and reflection of the useless

good night

A bug in the brain

2009-12-14T01:02:00.004+08:00

Images of Brad Pitt kept flashing into my head..
Half naked, gleaming with sweat,
ribbed in all the right places...

And that rather annoyed me..

An irksome problem
when you watch a movie before reading the book..

Even with my best effort at Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club
My brain just keeps getting pulled back to the movie..

Imagination stumbles with great difficulty
to draw the characters up fresh

Logically,
a movie is just an interpretation of the book

Like a piece of art.

A painting of a flower is what a flower looks like
through the painter's eyes...

And we use it to greater appreciate its beauty
But it will never hinder how we see a flower

Perhaps the characters created by the director were so vivid,
they become larger than life
they reach out from beyond reels
to take host in your brain

There is only one Tyler Durden
It is Brad Pitt wearing a grimy bath robe with goofy plaid pants
and fluffy slippers

Somehow the characters in the book seem more flawed
Somehow they don't deliver the messages with the same panache
Their punch lines.. miscued.

Somehow I know it is all cerebral.

The only joy I take by knowing the ending
before reaching THE END

Is that I get to spot the clues, the sleight of hands,
that the writer had so blatantly placed all throughout...
hinting at the real truth..

Would I have spotted it ..
if I was reading it for the first time?

That is something I will never know..

And Brad Pitt half naked
should never be annoying
in any universe ...

2009-11-16T23:55:00.007+08:00

There was always a nagging feeling that
I never quite fit in. The side glance
not caught. The quip never quoted.
The anecdote never re-told.

If I were a sesame street song .. I'll be..
One of these things that is not like the others
One of these things just doesn't belong

Always the side line, the beeches, the fringe.
Sarcasm developed as a shield,then a weapon,
then a tool.

I grew to love words - beautiful proses, wicked lines,
effusive superfluous phrases, non sequiturs, things left unsaid
- but you know were ...with well-placed blanks

If a picture could say a thousand words
I'll still rather be a writer and
say much more..

Give up your ghosts tonight

2009-10-29T15:58:00.006+08:00

Driven by the macabre of the season
And of stormy days in my tea cup of life

---------------------------------------------

Give up your ghosts
And all that haunts you

At the oddest times of day

Bent down to pick a fallen pencil
Pushing through a crowded bus
Mid-kiss at the door step

Saying goodbye

A momentary sense of loss
A pang of regret
A tear not shed
A sigh that never materialized

The invisible hands that hold your heart
Tight

The shadows in the closet
Those that you are afraid

Will come out at night

Ever look into a mirror
And fear to see yourself reflected
Because then

There is no where else to hide

Give up your ghosts
And all that haunts you

Bury them tonight.

---------------------------------------

Hmmm .. I like...

2009-08-04T01:39:00.003+08:00

A MAN WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS A WHOLE CADBURY

LOL

if only I knew that earlier...

wouldn't have waste all that money on whole tubs of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough..

Its brilliant
Exactly captures the feeling

of almost reaching that moment of mythical fulfillment..
.. Only the find disappointment as the punchline.

A convert

2009-07-20T23:47:00.004+08:00

Fight Club was playing as I walked through the door..

and a real gem floated to my ears..

"When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you,
instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.."

intrigued, I slowed to watch..

"Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends."

brilliant..
and then I'm hooked..

while I KNOW I am very slow to have picked this up..
I am definitely going to get the book tomorrow.

Hungry for words..

with meaning

O you poor sod

2009-07-08T00:13:00.005+08:00

It is a sad sad day in humanity
When the greatest satisfaction one takes
is to savour the moment of intentionally ingoring invites on facebook

And on even worst days..
You feel that you just arent getting it.

I know that feeling
All too well

bing bong bang

On the couch

2008-07-31T23:55:00.007+08:00

The things we do on a Thursday night >>>

leaving the office feeling somewhat lost
with my gym bag swinging dejectedly beside me
knowing its not going to be of much use tonight.. '

I headed towards my friendly neighborhood grocery store
where the wonders of produce
belies hours of gastronomic pleasure

That was how I came to be
With a Sandman in one hand
A Shiraz and feta cheese soaked in olive oil on the other
passing an unremarkable but very full-bodied night
.... and that is just the overture

Now a bitter chocolate to accompany the 2nd
or maybe 3rd or 4th glass of red..
it has tapered to a sweet, lilting end note

Dark claret on dark mahogany
contrast and compliment
a sensory symphony

I savored each silver of rich decadence
with a fully satisfied lick of the lips

Pondering the endless complex reflections that Sandman besots
and watching Gremlins with my dad

Somehow the weight of loss and regret
is always not far from the mind

I am not a happy person
I try to be the best person I can be
but thats about it

For now, a wine a couch and a book ..will do
Waiting for that piece that fit just right

A fitting sign-off
~ The hardest thing I've done, is keep beliving..
that theres someone in this crazy world for me

j

:: My Song :: for now

2008-07-30T00:39:00.004+08:00

It would seem like I have come full circle
and this song has become even more fitting then ever
To how I feel tonight ..

When words fail you
there are always other people out there
better able to articulate it then you ...

So lets hear it for Karen's favorite Carpenters song..
and now mine too >>

The hardest thing I've ever done is keep believing
There's someone in this crazy world for me

The way that people come and go through temporary lives
My chance could come and I might never know

I used to say "no promises, let's keep it simple"
But freedom only helps you say Good-bye

It took a while for me to learn
That nothing' comes for free
The price I've paid is high enough for me

(*) I know I need to be in love
I know I've wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that's what I'll find

So here I am with pockets full of good intentions
But none of them will comfort me tonight

I'm wide awake at four a.m.
Without a friend in sight
Hanging on a hope but I'm alright

~ by Richard Carpenter & John Bettis & Albert Hammond
------------------------------------------------------

You kinda know the state you have fallen into
When you start relating your life to a pop song...

But I still think that the lyrics are beautiful and melancholic

And the song plays in my head for now
like a siren..
drawing me to crash and burn
upon the rocky coasts of reality

<3 j

:: quote of the day::

2008-07-21T23:03:00.004+08:00

As it had laid on my coffee table everyday
staring at me with the soulful eyes
of a cockel spaniel in an SPCA advertisement..

I had finally relented
and picked it up for a read
while ignoring other jealous little literary daggers
radiating from my bookshelf

But it has proven to be a wonderful companion
on my ride home
embarrassing me in front many innocent paserbys
while i snickered uncontrollably into the book

The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld
As as usual Terry Pratchett doesn't fail to deliver
Like a condensed version of every punchline made by the Master
It brings you down the memory lane of every book you have read
and remind you why he is undeniably--- unbeatable

To extract my favorite quotes from there is pretty futile
Considering that I will probably end up posting the entire book
which will probably make me a criminal for plagerism
not to mention the monster callouses
that will afflict my poor fingers

And why should I pay $40 bucks for that book
while you cheapskates read it from the web ;p
so buy your own book ..lol

Nonetheless
It is a MONDAY and everybody deserves some cheering up ..
So here is a tasty morsel to tempt the taste buds
like the licking of whipped cream off a frappe

" In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than soap, and much more difficult to find..."

"The shape of DNA, it is popularly said, owes its discovery to the chance sight of a spiral staircase when the scientist's mind was just at th right receptive temperature. Had he used the lift, the whole science of genetics might have been a good deal different. *

* Although, possibly, quicker. And only licensed to carry fourteen people."

And now with my nightly meditations on the keyboard done..
I shall proceed to enjoy the book till I fall asleep
dampening the book ever so slightly with my enthusiastic drool ..

lights out

:: My french love affair ::

2008-07-20T23:39:00.008+08:00

An unassuming dirt path
That seemingly leads to nowhere

Walk along it and you will find...
a gateway into another world
one which opens your mind to new experiences
of joy, laughter, amazement and the bittersweet

Alliances Françaises is one of those relatively undiscovered gems in Singapore
and recently I am rediscovering it ...
enjoying their movie screenings every Tuesday
The eclectic array of movie offerings are a wonder to explore
Straying far from the usual sameness of Hollywood.
And at $7.20 a movie
I think its the most value-for-money education one can find

Now I eagerly check Sistic for the next movie,
the next adventure, the next new experience
But it is a journey that I rather not embark upon alone
Part of the fun is in discussing the movie afterwards
And learning more along the way...

Luckily I was able to marshal some troops last week
for the screening of Perseoplis..

::wikipedia's plot summary::
An animated film based on Marjane Satrapi's autobiographical graphic novel of the same name. The story follows a young girl as she comes of age against the backdrop of the Iranian Revolution, which goes horribly wrong with Islamic fundamentalists taking power and creating a new theocratic tyranny themselves; the story ends with Marjane as a 21-year-old expatriate.

The title is a reference to the historic city of Persepolis.
The film won the Jury Prize at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival

While some people might wonder ...
>> How can such a serious issue be addressed in animation?

I felt that they have managed to utilize the freedom
and artistic representations in animation...
done mostly in black and white,
with choice splashes of colour..
to tell the story simply and eloquently.

In a very refreshing way,
with sensitivity, candidness and
peppered with the occasional black humor.

There were times where the whole theater laughed out loud together
emphatising with the protagonist
feeling and seeing the story through her eyes

I left feeling more connected to the history of Iran and its people
However with more knowledge
..we are able to see the ugliness of mankind and the world with greater clarity
Which can weight down as a burden for the heart..

However, despite leaving with a slightly heavy heart
I felt my mind more open, more seeing, more free
With new knowledge, comes liberation from the fence
that ignorance builds around us

And to be able to soar above the mundane and microscopic view
of my life and my everyday world..

>> It is a definite worthy price to pay..

So a toast to Alliances Françaises
and its dedication in sharing such treasures with the rest of us.

:: my journey towards film nirvana::

2008-07-17T15:38:00.004+08:00

An ode to a friend..

He has decided to pass down his infinite wisdom of film appreciation
and given me a list of must-watch movies that
I...the slack pupil
... had shunned without knowing their true magic

So to honor my Shi Fu Movie Connoisseur,
Let me present my :: Movie Hit List ::

1. Pulp Fiction
2. The History of Violence
3. Fight Club
4. American History X
5. The Secret
6. Eastern Promises
7. American Beauty
8. Prestige
9. Bladerunner
10. Night Watch
11. Day Watch
12. Crash
13. 3:10 to Uma
14. Flags of our father
15. Into the Wild
16. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

3 more than the 13 books I will have to read.
While there will be no balancing on beams by the seaside
nor waxing of cars with 2 hands

I will aim to be at the top of my game on this
And not let my shi fu down..
I will be .. The Couch Potato Kid!!
*ahem*
sound track please...
ta ta ta ....
ta ta ta ...

Book Hit List ~ death by reading

2008-07-16T01:01:00.004+08:00

A link to the "All time 100 books" by Time Magazine
and a question of "how many have you read?"
was posted to me just last week..

That piqued my interest
and I went about the challenge..scrolling and counting

And I am not ashamed to admit..
My amazingly pitiful head count was >>
3 novels read from cover to cover
3 more..started but not finished...
And many many more that I have always wanted to read
but never got around to

While I do not agree with ALL of the author's picks
(Zadie Smith = *yawns*)
And I wish some others were inside
(Come on ..wheres Pride and Prejudice? )

At the end of the day ..
Its all personal

I might just happen to have crappy taste for books
yes..
me ..
the one who shys away from anything that even smells of
feel-good and romance

who could tell right ;p

But bare with me here..
As the list did inspire me to adapt a shorter list
of the books that I must read in the next couple of years
Well.. Preferably before I die ..

So here it goes:

My own Book Hit List >>

1. Brideshead Revisited~ Evelyn Waugh
2. A Death in the Family~ James Agee
3. Animal Farm~ George Orwell
4. Light in August~ William Faulkner
5. Lord of the Flies~ William Golding
6. Catch- 22 ~ Joseph Heller
7. A Clockwork Orange~ Anthony Burgess
8. Mrs. Dalloway~ Virginia Woolf
9. The Grapes of Wrath~ John Steinback
10. I, Claudius~ Robert Graves
11. Watchmen~ Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
12. 1984~ George Orwell
13. War and Peace~ Leo Tolstoy

Yeap my lucky no. 13..
And I shall go about attacking these books with the same vengeance
Uma Thurman goes about ticking names off her list in Kill Bill
*eee hah!*

While these books will probably be read in between
other equally interesting books that catch my fancy
I hope to at least tick off at least 4 in a year
Hmm.. which will make that a 3-year hit job ;p

And I hope to read more "classics" in time ..
Despite the fact that our education system does not support
the active appreciation of classics

I think it is still important for us to strike a balance
in understanding what drove the literary world in the past
and what is is relevant to us in the future..

One will never be poorer for reading more..

And if this has intrigued you as much as it did to me

Here is the link>>

http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html

Art of War and Relaxation

2008-07-06T23:57:00.005+08:00

If Sun Tze ever swam in a public swimming pool
He would have dedicated part of his all-famous war strategies to it

I know that swimming is suppose to calm you
But anybody who has ever swam in a public swimming pool..
ON A WEEKEND
Will know that it is more like a mad-cap Super Mario game

The journey from one end of the pool to another
is filled with numurous obstacles and sudden ambushes
that it will make entering Mango on a 70% sale
or finding dancing space in Puture at Zouk on a saturday night
seem like a delightful stroll in the park ...

Ever tried minding your own business and keeping to you own lane?
One that you have so carefully chosen to avoid any other swimmers.
Far away from the screaming kiddies in PJs, and googles>>
Like over-enthusiastic alien tadpoles learning to swim

But somehow..
once you start swimming..
you feel like a super hero .
not in a good way ...

In the way that >>
It seems like all forces of evil are plotting to get you

With the first stroke..
Rouge kiddes appear, straying into your lane..
And while you are being distracted by them
some guy JUST happen to want to swim in the exact same lane as you
Despite the many other elatively free lanes available.

As you re-enter the water after gasping for breath
you see that dude tunneling towards you ..
not caring what is in his way.. not seeing either

And there are the occasional "floaters"
older folks.. who stubbornly swim the breath of the pool at their own leisure
making everybody who are swimming the length stop to let them pass

THEN there are the "road blocks"
who hang around the end of the pool
suntanning, chatting... or trying their best to look cool
basically not doing any swimming at all

In the end ..everything boils down to a game of chicken
If you see someone in your path of motion
just keep on swimming forward
the loser will be the one who shifts their course just in time
to avoid a deadly aquatic collision

While I do not exactly have a death wish
But every time I enter a public swimming pool
I become this aggressive lioness
possessively protecting my territory
Ready to dish out a "friendly" kick (not hard of course)
in the direction of anyone who dare to veer too close into my lane

And this, I have to shamefully admit ..
is not me at my civic minded best.. ;p

But I SWEAR .. I never laid a hand (or feet in this case)
on the kiddies

As much as I would have liked to stuff their blindingly fluorescent swimming caps
into their mouths to stop them from breaking the sound barrier with their shreking

While I'm sure all these said will make me sound like a vicious mean old biddy
And I should just go get a private pool *like duh*
But till that happens
I will keep my gripes

However .. I did enjoy my swim today
The feel of my body weightlessly cutting through the water
In an water-logged choreographic ballet
feeling every muscle straining with every stroke
and the fragmented sunlight entering the water and caressing my skin

With that I shall end with a promotion of ::Jaslyn's Spa::

Feeling in need of some TLC,
I decided to pamper myself with my very own home-spa session
Having bought a "love me" package from Bodyshop
I set about exfoliating and moisturizing..
~ the whole shebang

After an evening of....
papaya body scrub
strawberry body moisturizer
grape seed cuticle oil
tea bag eye mask
seaweed face mask
and oilve oil hair mask

I felt ..and smelt like an exotic fruit salad..
yummmy ..

NOW for a limited time only ..
There is a one for one promotion at Jaslyn's home spa
>> Bring a bottle of wine
and you get 1 free spa session..

AND if you bring cheese along as well
you will get a free massage ..

lol
hows that for a sweet deal..

:: Strange Invitation ::

2008-07-04T01:10:00.015+08:00

The sky was turning a purplish hue
from grey to violet to dark indigo blue

slight, a gentle breeze tug at my hair
playfully blowing them into my face

the stars were making their stellar appearances
with a hint of the bashful moon

what a wonderful night for a run...

And ran i did>>
Up the endless stairs of fort canning
through its leafy refuge

my lungs fueled by the cool night air
heady with tropical scents

Accompanied by the street lamps
I see furtive couples huddled under the cover of shadows
and a lone jogger or 2 panting by

I startled a cat patiently stalking a prey
way out of my sight

But from its stilled hunched body
With tension in every muscle
I could almost see a pounce waiting to take flight

My passing only warranted a cursory glance from Mr Cat
Not worthy of its interest

Just like we would not pause our lives
to see a fly buzz by

Feeling rather slighted
I continued on my running route

Crossing bridges and fields
and past the brightly lit esplanade
all decked and pimped out ..
ready for a big show on August, the 9th..

Rehearsals was on going full steam ahead
and as a monstrous ferris wheel rose gaily before me..
Neon green, pink and blue lighting up the now darkening sky
like a giant circular Christmas tree..

I heard strands of our national day song

Despite being allergic to patriotism
and any other -isms that require my whole-hearted belief
that the actions of a few men are for the greater good of me

Still...
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand
not literally that is..
but close enough..

Its amazing how
underneath that veneer of skepticism
and general disillusionment of the society as a whole
this jaded little heart
can still be touched by some cheesy song about home

You go Kit Chan ..

And as I was fell into an easy rhythm
the background buzz of traffic lulling me
into a state of mind-out-of-body

Inevitably ...
I though of a strange invitation I had received today >>
"Do you want to join SDU?"

Well the answer was a firm and immediate
"Thanks but no thanks"

Not that I see it as a social stigma
it is just that ..

Kinda like the difference between

Wanting to buy a dress..

>>Rummaging through a lot of shops and getting distracted along the way ..
buying everything but the dress
trying a lot of dresses that you think might fit
only to be disappointed in the dressing room countless times..
and then finally
when you least expect it
you come across that perfect dress
*at the right price of course...

>>Versus..
having a professional shopper bring you a set of dresses
what she thinks might fit you
and you just pick the best one you like from there
and all is done with a snap of the fingers

Well...
I enjoy buying my dresses the old fashion way

Granted there are too many busy people out there
Caught up with their life and work
that they have to pay other people
to help them filter through a whole lot of people
and telling them who they should get to know better

*shrugs*
there is no accounting for logic

Now that we have ready-packaged spouses
and ready packaged weddings
what next ?

Ready packaged kids?
I should start a business
selling people the opportunity to grow the kids that they want

Consider this
Mom and Pop >> too busy with their own lives
to bother with the hassle of the trail and error method of raising kids

I can offer a package that allows them to >>
Choose the genes of their child-to-be,
How he/she is to look like,
What schools they should attend to
What skills they must learn..
Which type of friends they should hang out with

And wala!
Kids grown the way you want them..
Before you know it, they have become adults
to be just the way you expect them to be
..and can be proud of..

Tada !

Well .. perhaps in the future

Which seems so wrong

I shudder at the thought of what the world will be coming to

Well..
that short mental exercise all happened in the nice hour long run
which gave both my legs and my mind a good stretch

But the nagging question had taken root
deep in the crevices of my cerebral nodes

>>> Will I join SDU ..??
>> Even 10 years down the road.. and sitting on the shelf ??

hmm.. .

nahhhhhhh ...

I want to find that perfect dress myself..
Even if it means rummaging though flea markets and the likes
You never know where you just might find the perfect one
that fits you just right ..

<3

The Swimming Pool

2008-06-30T00:13:00.009+08:00

The sun ...
was all dry heat and glare

The type ...
that reminds you of deserts and iguanas

While the tiles ...
baked like rolls of square biscuits

Burning my feet
ever so slightly,
as I tread my way across them

Squinting my eyes involuntarily,
I cast my slitted gaze
upon the prize I had came for...

It shone...
and sparkled and shimmered with promise

Crystal clear but yet
constantly in motion..

Playfully reflecting facets of light
that the adoring sun besotted upon it

Beckoning me..

One of the mysteries of human nature
is our attraction to precious stones..

And this one shown like liquid azure
Alluring like a siren's song ..

I slipped into it...
It was deliciously cool
Just as I had expected

Like an earnest lover..
it laps me up
engulfing me in its icy embrace

With a sigh of relief ...
I released myself to its adulation
Hopping that it will sooth my sorrows..

Inside that water
lost in a vast expense of blue
Intensifying into the distance

Indigo lane markings purposefully led the way
With the reassurance that it will being me safely
to the opposite end..

I kept to the blue lane markings as I swam
Knowing that if there is nothing in the world I can depend on
I can still depend on those faithful blue markings

If only life was as simple

And swam with vigour I did
Lap after lap

Trying my hardest to wash away the sorrow
To leave my tears like a trail of breadcrumbs
Into the oblivion of blue

Hoping against hope that psychical fatigue
Will numified all emotions

With each stroke ..
I could feel the pain being pushed away

And yet when I surface to gasp for air..
The waters lap back onto me,
surging back the tide of sorrow
with equal strength that i pushed it away

Thus.. the rhythmic cycle continued

Perhaps that is life
As are the laws of physics for that matter..
With each force
There is an equal and opposite reaction

It will never be possible to push away your pain
you can only absorb it

And in doing so
Allowing a space for happiness to enter as well...
With time.

As i glance at the clock to see the time
Its sameness provoked me

It could have been a clock in any swimming complex
from Bishan to Jurong to Chua Chu Kang

Why is it that all the clocks have to be the same
And the walls the same boring neutral shades
And the lifeguards..the same impassive air
Hiding behind mirrored glasses

But the one sameness that i cannot fault
Is the unobstructed view of the sky they provide

In that instant ..
With each breath I take
As I gazed up into the bright Tiffany-blue sky
Before falling back into the turquoise water for the next stroke
It almost seem that in my state of suspension
I am actually flying

Although air traffic is pretty heavy
as many blurred faces pushed past me..
entering my personal space
creating un-welcomed ripples in my path of flight

And I wonder
why are all these people here...

Do they seek the same sort of release as I did?

Many come in solitude
While others come in 2s and 3s
Laughingly splashing..
furtively talking..

What propels people to want to come
On a lazy Sunday afternoon
To a soulless public swimming pool

What are their thoughts
Their hopes
Their dreams
Their fears

Perhaps I lay submerged in a whirlpool of emotions
Contributed by each and every one who touched its depths

But does it care
I wondered
As i dripped my way out
Leaving small puddles of itself
to dry up mournfully in the sun

While it lay impassive
To the little crumb of sorrow I left behind
Deep in its aquamarine belly..

The Swimming Pool

:: Merida ::

2008-05-29T11:18:00.004+08:00

Sitting in a dimly lit courtyard
in the sultry heat ..
enjoying whatever cool breeze i can get

listening to a lonesome guy in the corner
strumming his guitar ..
singing a plaintive Mexican song

His voice echos with melancholy
to the inattentive audience sitting here

I feel strangely awkward for him
to be singing to an unappreciative audience
to bare your soul
but nobody cares

when he ends his song
a silent pregnant pause filled the air
i clapp self-conciously
knowing that its probably not enough of a reward for him
but I am doing what I can

Life is full of such embarrassing little moments
but in time..
I will probably only remember his beautiful voice ..
haunting the night

Merida is full of beautiful colonial buildings
living out their last days of splendor
the peeling paint and dirty walls cannot hide
the beautiful iron lattice work of the grills
nor the ornate cornices and moldings
telling stories of the dreams and aspirations
of the wealthy when building such houses in the past

now .. most of these houses are occupied by laundromats,
auto-shops and internet cafes
which is sad..but inevitable i guess
goes to show that life still goes on
on matter what happens

Hopefully I will get to go snorkel in the Cenotes tomorrow
Limestone caves, carved out by the waves
Sounds and looks beautiful in the brochure
But then they always do
If only life is as simple as a colourful brochure
short , concise and all exciting ..

on the long road to Merida
I know I'm suppose to think and reflect
and find an understanding with myself
however..when forced into such a position
I rather watch the cars zoom by me in repetition
... typical

Like a breeze through San Fran

2008-05-25T16:12:00.002+08:00

It is not called the windy city for nothing
Like a breeze through San Fran
We stormed the city .. and left many spinning in our wake..

well... not EXACTLY

How shall or should I begin

Charming as charming can be when I'm freezing my toes off..
>>Would be my most honest statement

While we started out with all those ambitious plans
of places to go and things to do
when it came to the actual execution ..
as usual...
there is no perfect plan ...

Jet-lag is a big culprit
and the constant need to go into a coffee house for a hot drink
to recover from almost-frost-bite would be another big reason
and of course when you have 2 people the the combined attention span of a squirrel
attacked by the constant tendency to go into trigger-happy fits
>> There you go

In the end
out of like 6 places we plan to hit a day..
we end up with like 3 destinations..
all reached through a meandering route
filled with fruitful stop-overs

I guess.. in the end..
We wont really remember much of the Golden Gate Bridge ..
other than it being very big an very red ..(like duh)
And we wont remember much of the Fishermen Wharf ...
other than it being like a Disney theme park..
filled with corny gifts
>> that only the very taste-challenged can think of

But we will vividly remember the long-slow-motioned 2k trod
through the soft sand by the beach

A sunset view enjoyed with great Merlot and feet-tapping jazz..

The little Italian deli that we bumbled into..
authentically decked out, hanging salami and all
and the wonderful beef sandwich and pasta salad
which never the likes have I ever tasted in Singapore before

I can paint many more pretty pictures but I have to stop somewhere
Or Ill be here typing all night
and without much context ..
much is lost in translation
or in this case
>>my lousy narration ;p

The beauty of travel ..is that nothing ever happens as expected ..

Hopefully a sunny Mexico will be awaiting tomorrow..
because if I ever feel that cutting wind through my bones again..
I will have to start burning all the shorts and bikinis
that I bought for this trip to keep myself toasty

The horrors.. !

Well to scorching sun, pesky mosquitoes bites and sand up my butt
>>> Here I come

ready or not ...

Right there waiting

2008-05-19T23:43:00.009+08:00

4 days and counting..
finally after talking toot about Mexico for so long..
the talk is finally firming up into reality

Route is set.. well roughly
travel is all about the spontaneity ...
right..? ...
right.. ;p

My first accommodation booked..
And now all I have to do is packed the gigantinomous backpack...
When my friend asked me if I wanted to borrow his 70 liter or 40 liter backpack..
Well the choice is obvious >> ain’t it ??

I need all that space to fill up the goodies..!!!

hmmm..
Maybe I should I just bring my bikinis
And leave even more space for shopping!!
ooooo the dilemma..

Already there is a growing list from people on what I have get/do in Mexico
1. Find out why they put the legendary lemon wedge in the all-famous beer
2. Jumping beans >> well Im sure its even more hilarious when you are drunk..
3. The hottest chili in Mexico >> and I do not mean the girls
4. The ever coveted ipod..>> well I AM stopping by the US
5. To taste all the fantastic Mexican cuisine >> their grasshoppers, their mole
AND their men*..
* well a certain source** told me that Mexican men aren’t very good
**I assume he had tried them before..so maybe I might just give them a miss

But who knows...
I just might do it all in the name of adventure ..
If lucky I mind find a Ronaldo look-alike (the Man Utd one.. not the buck-toothed one)
Who has strayed up far from home..
Hmmm…

In view of all the re-fried beans and guacamole I will be eating in the coming 2 weeks
I had foolishly believed that I can make it good by going for an epic run..
While I know most guys will roll their eyes..
Saying that eating is not like Maths.. >> there is no perfect balanced equation.
The cupcake you just ate, won’t miraculously disappear after a gym session
The cupcake will be STILL on your HIPs
The exercise just moved the fats around a bit ;p

Well ..with my female logic foolishly pushing me on
I had embarked on a prodigious run ..
The one same route that I had taken before>> and gave up halfway the last time..
Dying for a drink..I had turned around to head back home for some life-saving agua..

Well I survived it..
Enjoyed my first sunset in a long time..
Pat some cute babes and even cuter doggies
Listened to the birds chirping and missed stepping on a snail or 2 by just this much..
Out-run the some fat kid on a bike and a Gurka (well only for a very short distance..right at the start)

All in all it was a very ..well satisfying run..
I managed to half-run-limp-crawl back.. with an almost-butt-cramp
And the full-moon in the darkening skies laughing down at me.
Reminding me that inside this 25 yr-old body,
There are 50 yr old knees..and probably 40 yr old kidneys..

But all the while.. these images were going through my mind..

>> white sandy beaches..

>>ancient ruins

>> and all the tequila I can drink..
Well.. I WAS thirsty from the run..

Right now .. I am reading the wonderful ‘The Art of Travel’..
And while it says that the anticipation of travel will always bring disappointment in reality..
I on the other hand believe to never expect anything
Then.. every experience will be new and exciting..
It might not be the most fun…nor the most idealized.. but it will different 

In my heart.. I still believe in the romance of travel
The mysticism of lands unexplored..
The trill of trying something total foreign..
And the friends made along the way..

This is to travel.
I toast to thee
...with all the tequila I can drink :)

The Oldest Game On Earth

2008-05-08T00:54:00.003+08:00

The place was appropriately dim
And the beer was flowing freely
There we sat in our front row seats..
Just in time to catch the match being played at the bar

And so it begins..
Opposition won the toss..

Starts out smoothly.. Posturing and all
First..He invades her private space..
Whispering close to her ear..
all the while gazing into her eyes..

Ooh ...
but a clever deflection from the home side!
She placed her glass in front of her
In between them..
Defending her space well. .. and laughing as she did so

Looks like a tough match tonight…
Both sides are experienced at the game and raring to go..

The Opposition gets frustrated.. flustered even
At the lack a goal in sight..

But he preservers on
Buying her another drink and another …

This time he tries a different tactic..
First he sneaks quick touches at her elbow
As he talked animatedly..
Disguising it all as part of the story-telling

And she unwittingly let that pass..
Preoccupied with her drink and the story unfolding..

Suddenly..
he starts touching her shoulder...
Success! As he moved past the first level of defence

She smiles on..
perhaps defences weakening
Losing stamina (or just the alcohol working)

Sensing a slack in the defence ..
He moves in for the kill
With a flourish..he ends his story
And while she tilts her head back to laugh..
He angles himself in ..
Catches the back of her head and he brushes in a kiss..

Score!!...
1 - nil

As suddenly as it began..
The whistle is blown..
HALF TIME

Well… That’s about all I saw of that match
Didn’t stay long enough to watch the second half being played out

But I guess..
Only those involved in the match would have known the final score
Perhaps both side won..
Perhpas it was a loosing game..

Its amazing the things you see ..
If you open your eyes..
And there I was.. just hoping for a margarita and a decent DJ

But with a name like Gypsy Bar..
One might expect some magic to happen that night..

KL has its charms.
And it was a wonderful birthday
I cant believe I have actually survived for 25 year ..

I keep expecting myself to be having some sort of quarter-life-crisis..
Perhaps … I more well-adjusted than I thought..

Perhaps its all the wonderful people around me
That make life too fun to worry about the little things

Like growing old.. ;p

Cheers

The 2 Kinds of Riches

2007-04-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

Since all the riches of all this world
may be gifts from the devil and earthly kings,
I should suspect that I worshipped the devil
If I thanked God for worldly things

The countless gold of a merry heart
The rubies and pearls of a loving eye,
The idle man never can bring to the mart
Nor the cunning hoard up in his treasury

~ William Blake

To all my friends who have just graduated
... anxiously awaiting entry into the working world

Hope none of you will be lost in the myriad
of the mindless mass money-making monster
that is our industry.

<3 the pureness of joy derived from truly living
is worth more than all the treasures in the world <3

A toast to more crazy times to come!! muacks

Beached in Bali

2007-04-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

The past few weeks had been madness
it felt like I'm back at week 12 of uni term
which coincidentally WAS actually week 12
of SMU term..

To all the nerds mugging in the library now
with only 3 hours of sleep but 100 more readings,
4 more textbooks and 10 more past exams papers
to go through...

I give you the proverbial finger
by lazying by the pool with a book in hand
wondering if I should have my eggs scrambled or sunny side up ..

lallalallalalal

okay I'm not that cruel
but as i was gazing into the Bali sunset
with the sea salt crystallizing in my hair
i wonder if this is what all the mugging is for

What have all the mugging got me
other than bouts of bad acne, love handles from too much junk food
and stained teeth from too much coffee

In the end ..
the coffee stains remains
Only now, I have more money to pay for facial and healthier food
which leaves my wallet alot lighter
which again begs the question
where does that leave me...

But I digress ..
Back to hell week..
While the final presentation in school
accounts for 30% of your final grade
which seemed to be a life or death situation back then

My presentation at the Bali Conference
probably accounts for the rest of my career

well ..okay
that may be a wee too drama
but I guess if I had totally sucked
in front of my colleagues from all over Asia
and some big shots from Europe
well...

I can probably throw myself into Bali sea
and hope for the crashing waves to
sweep me away into oblivion

Sounds romantic...
alas, i dint get to die with such melodrama..
thankfully it all went better than I thought
with people asking for my presentation
Although I was a nervous wreak ~

I changed 4 outfits in the morning
then deciding on to wear back the first outfit
I sprayed perfume on myself 3 time without realising
I poured papaya juice onto my cereal
I talked to my eggs
seriously...

Ah well
at least this tale
has a fairy tale ending
in a family entertainment kinda way..
a la ~disney cute

BECAUSE THERE WAS NO DECENT PUBS
IN THE WHOLE BLOODY STRETCH OF PRIVATE BEACHES...
thus gone was the chance for crazing boozing
bar top dancing
sexcapades on the beach...

okay maybe NOT the last part
but at least watching OTHER people frolicking by the beach
would have been more entertaining
then trying to drink myself to a very bad hangover
on cheap red wine..
by a bar that does not play any music
and a bartender that cannot pronounce "Cabernet Sauvignon"

and the waves continues to crash
time waits for no man
but the sand sinks in
as I step on it
dragging me down
"wait for me"
i shout at the sea
"wait for me, for i cant catch up
.....wait for me"
but the sea turns a deaf ear
dancing in its frothy white skirt
with the stars as the audience
leaving me washed ashore ....

Are you the Clod or the Pebble

2007-02-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

The Clod and the Pebble

"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And Builds a heaven in hell's despair"

So sung a little clod of clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet.
But a pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

"Love seeketh only Self to please,
To blind another to its delight,
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a hell's in heaven's despite."

~ William Blake

While reading Blake as I ambled home
I found this poem that struck a cord
especially i was just talking about love
i shall continue with this theme
with more food for thought

are you a pebble or are you a clod?

happy pondering....

and i must say
Blake proves to be a wonderful companion
for those long walks home..

Paris, Je T'aime

2007-02-26T12:45:00.000+08:00

Paris, I love you..
from the city of romance
comes 18 stories of love from the heart of the city
18 five minute clips by 18 different directors
all based on the title theme..
with a huge assortment of famous stars

At first glance one might wonder
how beliveable can this be
with actors like Elija Wood and director Wes Craven
would it become a hollywood version of an arthouse flick
like a wolf in a sheeps clothing
all the grittyness removed to be made palatable for the masses

I had my reservations..
especially since im not a romance-chick flick kinda gal
give me Apocalypto anytime...
and never try to force me to sit through Lake House ;p

Never-the-less it had turned out
to be a rather interesting experience
For I guess..
epecially in our age
we tend to forget love is far more than being 1 dimensional

the flick in that short 90mins
had managed to conveyed that love
is more than just romance

it is about...
~lost memories that we hang on to
~maternal connections that transcends physical distance
~closure that doesnt come with death
~expectations that we cannot fulfill
~responsibilities that tie us down
~purity and innocence

But yet..like a enfant terrible
it can be fickle, selfish, cruel, lost in delusions
and just full out weird...

and we are just caught in its storm
like swirling leaves...

The most poignant clip for me
was about an American Lady
who learns french so as to travel to pars
as we listen to her speak in panifully slow french..
she becomes more and more pitiful
with delusions of her solitude life
that you begin to feel sorry for her..
and then you laugh at her to cover up your embaressment for her
then in the end
you start to see the world from her view
and you realise
that who you are doesnt make you more deservable of love
it is something almost so etheral
that to be in love is just to feel blessed

Paris is a wonderful setting for the film
it makes me miss Europe even more
i wonder what would it be like if the film was set in Singapore
well definately not something i will see
if Jack Neo is the one directing it ;p

Tagline: One City. 10 Million Hearts. One Love Story. One Film.

sometimes I wonder what is love
and am I in love

now perhpas i can see that i have always been in love
in many many small ways...

by loving life
you love everything that encompass it
<3

as for now..
I shall spread some love ..

A very hot king he will make
I cant wait for his new film ..
Hollywood crap or no crap..

2007-02-16T13:53:00.000+08:00

No more roses to stop and smell...

2007-02-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

The new year seems to bring with it a certain lazyness..
its as if we left ourselves back in 2006 while being pulled into 2007
the inertia weighting us down..
as we move in this new year with swimming pool slowness...

Perhaps the imminent chinese new year will jolt us into action
But even the new year has taken its time to come
Being the year of the pig...
who can be surprise ;p
And I shall celebrate it like the pig that i am..
havign seen 2 full cycles of the zodiac..
my time has come again!

celebrate all ye fellow pigs...
it is our year
and what best way to celebrate it than to eat
yes...
barbecued pork and roast pork and pig trotters!!
yums
i can wait for the slaughter to start..
bawhhahahhaha

well before the aroma of honeyed crispy skin can fill the air
let us celebrate the perfume of flowers
hundreds and hundreds of bouquets
i saw being unloaded at the florist
while i was out for lunch
you can almost see the florist grinning with manic glee
thinking about all the poor guys she can swindle off money
"buy a bigger bouquet lahh"
she will say ..
"the more flowers "..
"the more she will love you.."

as if flowers can be quantified into love
the only thing these innocent looking roses can quantify into
is 12 bucks each.. flying outa your pocket..
phew.. faster than u can say....
"i love you" ...

In this mad captilaist world
let us all take a moment to ponder and remember
that love is not about ...
what brand of chocolates you get
or how many gifts you have unwrapped
in the end
the number of flowers dont mean a thing

However i am not a total sad sack ;p
let this be my ode to my Shanghai Romance

my love for natural lattice work

The view outside my hotel

cute hoghe-porch of small houses with a backdrop of sky scrapers

interesting colonial houses that the british left behind

The wonderful french connection

Obscure art galleries tucked in a corner of the industrial area

Blackie in repost

Lots of art work on anti-capitalism

The outside grafitti is just as interesting

To my relief .. the museums were not all about traditional art

While abstract is not my cup of tea ..
i think it has provided an intresting education
perhaps i am not giving the art form enough credit

alot of time was spent reading maps in the cold...

While i entertain myself snapping pics..

its wonderful to walk the small streets
and discover the real city beneath all that cosmopolitan
althou with a heavy heart
i can see its character slowly being erroded
under a film of shiny westernisation
where every few feet is a starbucks
and mass consumerism moves to the beat of mass standardization

Even this little villiage of zhou zhuang
is no longer the quaint water-village it used to be
its claim to fame as the
Venice of the East
had brougth millions there
including Tom Cruise
who filmed Mission Impossible 3 on location there

but regardless of all that ..
it is nice to try and imagaine
yourself back in time
enjoying a true blue ancient chinese sunset

and this is one of my sweetest memory of Shanghai
I loveeee breakfast..

But this of course will be the saccarin-dripped-in-honey-sweetest
memory of alll..

awww....
to the one who kept me warm
fed me well
and made sure we dint get lost
<3

witnesses in the dark

2007-01-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

Blue is the day as Grey is the sky
Black is the colour to fill my life by
I see colours
I see no colours
Find me a butterfly
So I can crush it down
To pound its wings into fragments
Into indiscernible nothingness
Broken colours

For colour is dead
Nowhere to be found

Manila In Repose

2006-12-20T10:02:00.000+08:00

Snapshots of my business trip to Manila ...
My journey through their small towns "barangais"

One cannot forget the heat ...
that permeates and oppresses...

Black Russia and the robot

2006-12-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

Dun let the rain get you down
How true,especially
when if its not raining when you wake up..
it turns your office into a ice box
or just when you are all ready for a nigth out
it pours with such gleee
knowing that all illusions of
al fresco dinning and long strolls
gets drizzled upon
wet throughly..
and then washed down the drain

Dont you just LOveeeee December in Sinagpore
The clamy air really brings out the christmas cheer in everybody
especially when you all squeezing in the shopping center
wet from the rain
and then pressed between a swelling crowd
all in the same deplorable state as you...

hmmm..
i cant wait to get out of this place
and freeze my ass off in Shanghai
where its really cold..
and winter holds more meaning ...
and i can find an excuse to wear a trench coat and boots
if you do that in Singapore
you either look like an 'ah lian' who lost her way
trying to find the Bleeping neo-print machine
which incidentaly is also going into extinction
or a werido/ pervert/ fake watch hawker...

But i know somebody *ahem* is looking forward to Rain *winks*
not the Singaporean one that makes you wet...
but the korean one with the hot bod..
oh wait...hmmm.... i guess.. he can also make you ....
hahahahah ...
err.. not me
i swear...

anywaz.. yesh .. time seems like sand these days
slipping out of my hand before i know it
and then culmulating in weird little pockets
when you suddenly find yourself twiddlign your tumbs
wondering what to do...

soo now i have found myself stuck in such a clump of sanda
with my comp staring accusingly at me
reminding me that i havent blogged in a while
welll...
i guess once you stop writing
and so many things have happened
you just dun noe where to start..
and then you start to wonder
who is going to read anyway

and then...
history is made.every second
and everytime we fail to say something
it is like while the words remain a non-entity
.... their potential remains
in my mind
soo many post i have written
but yet.. they remian there
maybe i shd just install a hard disk into myself
and start downloading straight from my brain...

anywaz.. enuough said
time still remains .. dragged into infinity
and i will still have more time to post all
the potential posts that i want to
like my manila pics..
my great experience at Standchart Marathon
with a very cui picture of me crossing the line
and etc etc

I seem to have all the time in the world
other than to sleep
soo thus..
i should take this opportunity
of stucked bits of sands
to catch a few zzzzzz

all that is left i guess
is to say that
i <3 the T'ang Quartet performance yesterday
*claps* wonderful Black Russia
i hoped you liked it tooo

i thank you for the breakfasts in the mornings
and the suppers at night
watching you cook
is like watching a sciencetist at work
a ounce of intensity, a dash of precision and
a peppering of panache

happy birthday my dear..

~ everybody go out and get your hands on a T'ang Quartet CD ~
and stay tune for the adventures of the drunken robot.. lol

sadly

2006-10-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

never in a million years
would I expect this to happen

Just one day i found myself
walking in the sun
skirts swishing
and a smile crept up to my face
the happiness
that threatened to burst out of my heart
yet confided in its inner chambers
all four of them
pitta patting to the sound of my heart beat

I look for a song
and inevitable turn to a happy one
I sing to myself
ALOT
I dance around when no one's looking
I skip even when people's looking

Alice has found her rabbit hole ..

How can anyone in this world make me soo happy
yet I dint wana assume
The feeling of needing to know
but not exactly wanting to know
is scary ..
in that in the end
you might be left with nothing...

But now I have something..
and my dears have wished me with
the greatest happiness
but yet I know somehow ...
in gaining my own happiness
I seem to have made a few other people
unhappy..
Like a zero sum game

why should that be??
perhaps this was not suppose to happen
perhaps alot of people dint expect it to happen
i did not purposfully seek for it to happen
but it did
soo live with it..

The last episode of Grey's Anatomy is making me cry...

chasing cars
sadly

while my current state of being
is in a total state of jumble
I do know 1 thing clearly
I am happy ...
the other 3 words are overuse
but these 3 ..
It makes my heart burns like a star
when I hear you say them too...

not yet wonderland.. first a stopover at lala land..

2006-10-05T15:03:00.000+08:00

seems like my previous post
got some interesting queries...
hmm what can I say??

let me see if a picture
can really tell a thousand words..

opps! wrong picture!
Got you there for a moment dint I? ;p
well ...if you had thought that was it
then you must been following
the wrong plot all this while..
lol

maybe its more this...

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perhaps?
perhaps....
actually hmmm...

i guess my answer would be this..

lol...
lalalalala

cloudy is in a crappy mood
anybody trying to be serious with her today
or tomorrrow or the day after that
and etc and etc....
will be assulted by her whip
which she carries aroudn with her
for such occasions..

*whoo!*

The fallen angel...

2006-10-02T09:58:00.000+08:00

This past week has be a surreal one...
one in which i yoyo in between..
hope| sadness| uncertainty| happiness| despair
and finally deciding to just be zen ..

We do not know what the future holds
and I dare not hope
althou ...
I would find myself dreaming sometimes
but the uncertainty
awns like a huge chasm ..
with no where to go
but to leap in with blind faith
in hope that I will land on something soft...

my leap of faith..

I do not know the ramifications
I am hoping there would be none ..
optimisim is my weakest link..

we only live once ..
right??

<< Lu >> by Fish Leong

which ever path I walk down...
I just wish it would take me to my wonderland..

Alice in Wanderland~

2006-09-26T13:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm Dali Dali Dali
where fore are thou Dali
hmm at Opera gallery of course

and it was a great evening
as we trooped down to Taka
for the Dali Exhibition
it being held in conjuction with the Biennale

I love Opera Gallery
they always bring in such beautiful artwork
althou I went with the extpectation of seeing..
an array of Dali works..
I was surprised to find
other artists on display too..

and the first thing that caught my eye
was not the whimpsical Dali sculptures
but something strong .. yet fresh
the bold dark lines highlighting the stark colours...
~ Bernard Buffet....
*swoon*
It was love at first sight
and here is his bio:

Bernard BUFFET (- 1999)
In France's early sixties, the two artistic phenomena were undoubtedly Picasso and Buffet. The legendary Andy Warhol was quoted in 1985 as saying Âthe French indeed have a great painter. My favorite artist and the last great painter from Paris: Buffet.

Bernard Buffet's works are timeless, an ever-present quality running through the ensemble of the artist's work. However he took his own life on October 4, 1999 in the Var region of France.

it is such sadness to hear that he took his life
and one wonders
do all artists suffer for their craft..
hmmm

another tumulous dark nature
caught my imagination too....

Maurice de VLAMINCK (1876 - 1958)
Born in Paris into a Dutch family of music teachers, Vlaminck started out as a bicycle racer. Forced to abandon professional racing, he started giving music lessons. Friends with Derain, Vlaminck took part in the first Fauve exhibition in 1905. Cubism attracted the artist who did not, however, limit his activities to painting. Vlaminck was also a race car driver.

I love this phase of him:
Vlaminck, the "wildest beast" of all the Fauves,
flew the coop in order to paint landscapes where dark, ominous hues prevailed.

no picture does justice ot his paintings
for they are amazingly textured
I love the "darkness" of his paintings
the way his clouds are able to brood
the way he can make the whitest snow look sloshy
...ominous without being sinister
if that is ever possible..
hmm...

anyways..while many of us might try to understand
the deeper meaning behind each painting
as if searching for the meaning of life..
however
Sheryl said something very real
that surely brougth all of us back to earth
~ maybe he doesnt mean anything
maybe he just let his imagination run wild
and drew what he liked ~

that is in reference to Dali
and looking at his artwork..
i have to agree
that it would be better
to just enjoy
and let him bring you into
his fantasy world
of elephant with skelethon legs
space venus
and the wonderland....

while he sculptures are amazing
the one thing that truly captured
my imaginaion was this sketch

hmm the reflection of the swan in the lake
showing an elephant
somehow speaks although to me..

at this juction
someone out there
will be saying awwwww..

well..
hmm lalalalala
i have been dreaming of Paris lately
and singing to myself
the flowers are blooming
and the larks are out ..
it feels like Spring time in October..
hmmm...
must be the moon..

~to everybody mugging~
*hugs!!!...jia you!!
half time is coming soon ;p *

Wanderlust...

2006-09-22T10:35:00.000+08:00

While sending some of my Europe backpacking photos to a friend..
I couldn't help feeling the surge of nostalgia
and that pull of pining for
something more ...

walks by the river
getting lost and not caring
discovering new things and old
having all the time in the world
to be yourself..

after rummaging through my photos..
here is my little tribute..

~ my wanderlust~

I long for adventure...
for life...
for love...

take me to wonderland ..
down the rabbit hole
to find me the potion
that will make us whole
we will dance amongst the flowers
and met the Mad Hatter
and ill kiss you in the petals
while the Cheshire cat grin
and slowly disappear...

Restless Week

2006-09-18T14:45:00.000+08:00

Be still my restless heart ..
or ill dig you out and throw you to the gods
as an offering to my tormented soul ..

okie..
that's kinda really weird ..
but yeah
the fustration caused by a willing mind
but a willful heart is just too much to bear sometimes

especially when I have gazillions of work due
poo..
nothing I can think of ..
could shed light on this mysterious ailment...
if only there is a heart doctor
He can plunge a calipers
right into my cosmic soul
yank out my wretched heart
and dissect .. into tiny
of millions of pieces
to get to the root of the problem...

maybe we are all part of the Matrix
and I'm about to be pulled out of my blissful coma
lol

alrights enough of darkness..

it was an arty-farty week
as SMU had its Art Fest
and I got to lounge on rugs and sofas
listening to the Tang Quartet perform..
they were amazingly expressive and electric
in their short half an hour
that I felt like gained soo much more
than a half hour performance
I'm so going to go to their next concert :)

further artistic exploration happened
at the Singapore Art Museum
It was quite quite an insightful experience
to get a deeper understanding
of local and South East Asian Art
for all the renaissance History I know
I am shamefully lacking in interest
of our local arts scene
I guess.. to me.. alot of their art work
seems very raw..
or perhaps they are too contemporary for
my old-fashion-surrealist-heart..

And since we were in the mood to be elevated
to a higher plane of consciousness with Art
why not add in a serving of alcohol too
to bring us to a even higher plane
lol

I had no idea why I ended up at the seclusion
but I had ended up with drinking XO with fruit punch
and wine with smoke ...
and waking up the next day not knowing how I feel asleep..
hmm I know I should stop doing that
but I do seem to have an affinity for blacking out at the wrong time
;p *ahem*

There are many different types of drunks in this world
there are those that get noisy
there are those that get moody and violent
there are those that get very very very happy...
and there are those that make other VERY happy ..
lol
I seem to be the type that falls straight from
happy to lights out..
the instantaneous switching off of all the lights
in my body
is probably quite scary

Ok ok.. we live and learn right?
I PROMISE not to have any power failures from now on..
this light house is going to keep on shining ;p
lalalalala

anywaz.. to end the restless week with a plomp!
is a definite must
and I think the NUS dance ensemble
did a great job in putting up a wonderful performance
Rita baby was all purtty and grown up in her performance
I felt like a proud parent watching her
*sniff sniff*

~ reading up on the Art of Seduction Now ~

ohh be still my restless heart

my fairy tale adventure

2006-09-13T00:58:00.000+08:00

*plop* ..
off came my shoe
while I was chasing a bus
leaving me like Cinderella
I hurried to my carriage (a Comfort Cab)
and sped for school
where my prince(ss)
was waiting to save me
with a extra set of shoes

and is that where the fairy tale ends..
NO...
this Cinderella trooped to the nearest ALDO
in her emergency slippers
and came out with her very first:
"Come-F**k-Me-Shoes"

Now THAT is a happy ending
... Till the next time she goes to ALDO again
lalalalalalalal

================================================

well..
during dinner with my very HOT date, Dians
we both agree that we miss a friend
a friend who has seemed lost to us
and we have set about on a mission
to try to understand how he feels

perhaps Bens and Jerry will help
perhaps it will not

if u are reading this..
let me just say
we do miss a friend
and if you never talk to us
we will never know what is wrong
regardless of whatever happened
my idea of a friendship is simple and uncomplicated

do you know...
we miss the lunches at Armenian street
we miss the dinners at kopitiam
we miss seeing you around ...

===============================================

song of the mo: "Ai Cuo" by Wang lee Hong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89brvr_E2LA

~ bei feng de tong , mei ren neng suo
wo chong lai mei ai guo
suo yi ai cuo
wo cong nah li qi fei
cing nah li jian luo ~

Total eclipse of the heart

2006-09-12T12:12:00.000+08:00

In the dim, smoky light
full of old drunk foggies
watery Tiger Beer and
little glasses of cocktail nuts
I belted out this song
with my heart
half caught in the moment of the song
half embarrassed about the cheesy-ness of it all

my alternative KTV experience
im sure the whole experience would seem more fun
when its over and part of my memories...
and my hot date would seem hotter too
lol
but the greatest surprise of the day
was that KH can sing!!
hmmm...
you learn new things everyday :p

I think the theme for the past week was retro..
with my first mambo clubbing session after soo long
<3 to melva
im sure you will be a very "hot" PE teacher
just dont make all the sec sch boys fall for you
and all the little girls will hate u ;o
lol

Had a good movie streak ..
with Shopie Scholls and Lucky Number Selvin
Shopie was kinda somber
but refreshing for a war film
it shows us that anybody can be a hero
nobody starts out with grandoise plans
to leave an imprint on the world

i had cried incessently
kinda embaressing for im not one who cries
i see it as a weekness
but perhaps as we grow older
lesser things affect us
we learn to loose
we learn to fail
we learn to fall
and to rise back up again

but anywaz
sabrina was puzzled why i cried soo much
for she said.. it is not as sad or as horrific
as the other shows like Schindler's List
I couldnt think of an answer...

But as i was walking home
and i thought back to the movie
i realise what touched me
was her story..
and its doesnt matter how many war films we see
everybody's struggle should be their own
their story
their life
and soo
and thou we are soo far removed from that inncident
that we only identify it with movies and books
we should not let ourselves be desensitised by the media
on the horrors that happen around us

On a lighter note
i have 2 new eye candy!!
one real and one reel
Josh Harnet is muy muy caliente
in the movie Lucky Number Selvin
his hair makes him adorable

this is amazing coming from someone
who thought he is like the ugliest actor ever
ok ..i take taht back
Ben Affleck is the ugliest actor
he comes in at a miniscue second
but Josh Harnet had looked soo non-descript
i feel bored just looking at him

but wheew now..
i just wana ripp that purple flowery towel off
*for those who watched the show ..
you will noe what i meannnnnn
lol

well its lunch time
and staring at my lukewarm coffee and half eatend sandwich
I miss the Berkela waterfalls already
the warm sun
the cool waters
the sweet intoxication wine
and the wonderful company

to sit under the moonlight
with the bright white of the waterfall
falling down beside you
and the gurgle of the waters
as it rushes down stream
hearing but not seeing
like a musical background
with the heady sensation of wine
while you ponder on anything that comes in mind
and let the night envelope you

life is sweet ..

~ im am not a disappointed dreamer..
i hold no ideals
i just want to be happy ~

stay tune to the next post
while I read up on KH's book on the art of seduction
and ill tell you what kinda of seducer/victim I am
lol

Dare to Dream

2006-08-31T11:29:00.000+08:00

Just visiting the booth yest with sabri and lijen
and brought them on a tour of our arduous journey
it brought back many mixed emotions, nostalgia and pride

If you happen to be in the vicinity of SMU Kopitiam
Just walk through
and be awed by the magnificence of Africa :)

Hakuna Matata

Here a collage I did of the mountain

Like Mr. Wilson our guide said
" Mountains will never meet, But people do"

~may I see you on another mountain top~

Every time in our lives have their place

2006-08-30T14:36:00.000+08:00

So says someone when I comment:
"ahh.. To be a student again..."

ahh well.. for a no-longer-student
I have been down to school more often than some still-students this week ;p
Evidently..
All the work had got to me last week
but thanks to all who had sent e-hugs my way
and to someone
who gave me a real huge sweep-me-off-my-feet hug
nothing beats the real thing man.. I'm sorry :)
that will remain in Caiyun's Hall of Hugs for a long long time

Because I don't foresee any more tall-dark-handsome guy
sweeping me off my size5 feet anytime soon....
maybe if I buy taller heels
I might stand a better chance
;p
bah

anyways.. its good to feel the load off my back
although it was not my best
I tried my best
let the others settle the rest :p
a tad irresponsible?
perhaps ..

But I have already threw everything into the wind
gotten out my cocktail dress
and my man-eater shoes..
feeling ravenous
all ready to party..

until I realized..
my moolah aint in yet
all plans of manicure, facials, spa, dinners
came crumbling down..
*sobs*
thus this week of "Pamper Caiyun Week" came to naught
next week .. I promise myself
which will also coincide with
my self-proclaimed "pamper dians week too"
because the poor gal looked like she needs a major break too :(

HOWEVER..
noo moolah did not mean no fun
I had loads of fun nightbiking ..
to feel the burn as we ate up the hills of Singapore
*kick-ass shiok*
to discover an eye-candy
*priceless*

Discovered.. a great new chill-out place!!!
The Cheesecake cafe
down at East Coast
what can be better
renaissance meets Mediterranean meets Bali resort deco
scrumptious cheescake in all possible flavor
think: peanut butter cheesecake.. Caramel cheescake...
and great company..
*me of course*
I come with the deal.. Ok ;p
lol

and *claps* to Ben Boh
for a great performance down at Timbre
we had good "cheap" wine
amazingly thin crust pizza
good company and of course
great music
it was really ..
"happy" ;p

although everytime..
everything I'm "happy"
people think I'm drunk
sad sad sad..
perhaps no one sees the real cloudy..
or it could also mean
I am seldom truly comfortable-happy
with many people..

lalalalala
ahh well..
though I seem to have developed a taste for red wine
being a staunch white-wine person.. till like last month
it is disturbing to find that
I long for the deep, rich taste of red
and the buzz that it brings with it
....
I hope I'm not turning into an alcoholic..

whoopee news flash: my pay just came in:
lalalallalala
happiness
thou nothing beats a hug
a real one of course :)

~ you occupy my mind ..~

stormy

2006-08-23T13:07:00.000+08:00

I never thought ill say this
but i am tired
i am sooo soo tired
my brain is numb
my heart is aching from emptyness
cloudy needs a hug*

poo

To forever 21: wine like water ..

2006-08-20T12:54:00.000+08:00

A Saturday morning of effort
with the pisco sour still sloshign in my system
wishing I was rock-climbing instead ;p
the fruits of my labor:
Posters for SMUay THAI..

=================================================
Never drank soo much wine in such a short span of time
It was truly a festive week
While the crazy partying of the past week
had turned towards more Chill-Out mellow this week
The enjoyment dervived is just as rich

WELL it does seem like there is a theme every week
doesn't it ;p LOL
Rita's surprise party
was truly a surprise
which is unusual for smux's track record
LOL
but her sister was really great
with hor douves from Marmalade Pantry
chocolate fondue fountain with lots of fresh fruits
and LOTs of wine...

jackie and gang.. with their helium balloons antics
performed an acapella of the birthday song with
helium-pitched voices!!
like a group of ah beng chipmucks ;p
and I have never seen Joel moved sooo fast
to smash the cake into rita's face..
~ its like watching a lazy cat lounging
and "foom" ..the next thing you know
it has a mice in its mouse

the poor girl had cake in her hair, on her shirt, all over her face...
thou I must say that she really smelled good after that
*yumm...
~ the latest scent: Chocolate Cake..
makes every girl irresistible"~

it wasn't till later ..
while chilling in the aftermath..
did her sis point out that she had cake
in her ears!!!
eeew..
if only we had a hot hunk there
to lick it out for her ...
next year.. ok gal.. hehe
;p

The supposedly wine party the next day
had dwindled till it hung on precarious fate
but still the few of us
with a thirst for the nectar of gods
persevered with dogged determination
while I couldn't contribute any wine
zhuang and I probably bought enough cheese to feed
a whole lab of mice (whatever that means)
which probably would have provided some entertainment
for the huge fat resident cat there
its tail, an entity by itself
*meow*

fruit and nut cheese rocks!!
soo does feta and Brie and cambered
just when I though I ate enough cheese to last me
till next year
and maybe a half ..

we ordered a huge cheese platter at Simin's Bdae Dinner!
squeak!
One Rochester (www.onerochester.com)
was relly chi-chi chill
with veryyyy friendly service ;)
We opened like 3 bottles of wine
my fav~
Saint Claire with a berry aftertaste..

Simin ordered 2 cakes from Awfully chocolate
with guess what written on it ?
:: Forever 21 ::
woot!!!
you rock gal !!!
and thank you for the great evening

That will be the first of many
high-crasss evenings to come ok
..its time we upgrade from
SMU kopitiam ...
hehe

And that was how i spent my week
~on a high spirits... ;p
but not before i took some time to have dinners with my mum
its been a long time since we shared a meal alone
considering that all my crazy antics
have probably drove her to paranoial ..
I should balance my play with some family bonding
then she will know me better and
maybe trust my judgment more...

I am not a person who easily opens out
im slow burn

I shall end with a shout out
to all the women in my life
you all rock! ;)
*muacks*

<3<3<3

My "work"

2006-08-16T13:45:00.000+08:00

=yippy finally posted the final postcard!
thanks to sabri and jen for your feedback=

What kept me busy over the weekend:
Here is a preview of this season's Muay Thai Marketing Collection
Currently still under "work in progress"
It will make its runway debut on Vivace

::Postercards::

:: Poster ::

Hmm i know there is more to do..
> more posters and emailers
> Banner
> Kilimanjaro Magazine Layout
all due by friday !!!
and of course there is my "real" work

Yesterday left me abit lacking of inspiration
soo many things pending
it felt like i was back in school
things piling up till im gasping for air

Its times like this that you yearn for something more
than a hot chocolate and a soft bed
I need a muse to amuse me
to excite me
to push my creative limits
to open up my mind

I know it sounds alittle dirty
perhaps it is mean to be....
lol

Alright
i shall refrain from sounding anymore
like a sexually fustrated old lady ..
toodels!

6.35pm and still in office

2006-08-14T18:38:00.000+08:00

Listening to "Collide" for like the what?... 48th time?
over and over and over and over and over...
again..

my very own spanish rainbow

2006-08-10T15:32:00.000+08:00

~the post that never got out~

And to think I was sad to come back from KL soo soon
But I guess fate had other things planned for me..
a whirlwind week of fun, laughter, bimbo-ness, emo singing
and best of all ..
cathing up with friends..

Friends who had been away...
never seen for months
Friends who had never gone away
but still never got round to meeting
Friends whom I have never met
But made along the way

Sentosa with the trekking people
had seemed abit werid at first
but the universal bitching game
is the ultimate ice-breaker
and regardless of having sand up your butt
seawater in your eyes
kicking mervyn many times in the shin
while doing vivcious soccer tackles
nothing beats the amazing crap said
with Huifen and Xingyu holding the table
I <3 the trekking gals
who needs guys ;p

the theme of gal power followed
with some exotic dancing on the butterfactory dance floor
with cora, sabrina and yours truely
cora rocks as the hoochie mama !!
i am tempted ot be her lesbian pimp
woot!
their shared gift for me was a pinstrip black hat
i cant wait to pair it with:
black pants, white shirt, black corset and black killer heels
woooo
a whip would help finish the look
purrrfectly *meow*

More emo singing followed with KTV
im still moved by Melvin..
i swear he gets better everytime
and i seem to be listening to emo songs nowadays
I wonder why
hopefully its just PMS
and not something stupid like ....
like wishful thinking ;p

an email reminded me of something
that brougth much heartache
which I had said before to certain people
of which they shared my view
and which I will say again:
He is blind
and to think i thought so highly of him
I just hope the best for him

some things you can stop
some thing you cant stop
some things you can stop but dnt know where to start

welll as KH said
loves blindfolds you
hmm ....
it must be a pretty F*ing huge blindhold i guess

anywaz.. it was a great supper yest
from bishan to thomson to geylang to yishun and back again
to careen around turns at 100km/hr
controled power.. woohoo!

I love the Oysho tube all the way from Barcalona
thou i was hoping for lacy underwear ..
but that rainbow-hued-sweetness
is cute too.. ;p

And all the food is making me fat :(
to gym to gym this little piggy goes
But first
to MOS it will make a detour first!

come on peopl!
unleashed that inner animal at the MOS cage!!
*oink*!
unfortunately
i think my inner animal is a pig
;(
i will get slaughtered then.....

in what consideration set are you?
we all have our own
so how do we know when is there
an overlap
a subset
or a exclusive set
or are you...an outlyer....

Alone Again... Naturally ...

2006-08-05T00:24:00.000+08:00

Being lonely being alone
that's kinda new for me
Funny for someone who enjoys solitude...
but usually in the proximity of the next human being

So when finally got thrown into a foreign situation
in a foreign land
sitting in a foreign bed..
soaking in the quietness that solitude brings...

The lack of the sound of the breathing of another human being
while when present... might seem negligible
But when absent... leaves a huge awning void
in which static sounds flows into

I suddenly feel lonely...

But loneliness is something I have to get use to right?
Not because I want to ..
But because we all have to be alone at some point in our lives
whether we like it or not..

So while walking down dark streets,
While walking along the dark hotel corridors,
While walking into a dark hotel room,
I half expect to be part of some horror movie..
amazingly embarrassing I must say...
to have braved the jungle nights alone
but to fear the dark in a city full of lights
....

However, KL is not without its charms
the night air brings romance to mind
But in my mind was where it stayed
the inviting chi-chi bars
the twinkling nightscape
seen in its full glory from my hotel room
with the KL twin towers raising up magnificently
~glowing efferverscent cosmopolitan

As I sink into my bath tub full of bubbles
with a hot cuppa tea
and my Terry Pratchett
I think I can start enjoying such a solitude
But then..
where are my wine, chocolates and strawberries?
and definitely ..
where is the hot dude to soap my back..

Fresh from the bath ..
with more tea ( yes very British,I know ;p )
watching "Buttons" on MTV
as I snuggled up into the soft white sheets
that engulfed me in its satin coolness
I wonder again..
where are my wine, chocolates and strawberries?
and the hot sex that comes with it...

The setting was perrrfect
But alas the company was lacking somewhat
I guess there's always my mango shopping bags
to hug to sleep at night... ;p
LOL

RIP

2006-07-22T08:25:00.000+08:00

Lets have a minute of silence
for the 2 brave cookies..
Mr Double Chocolate Chip
and Miss Outmeal Rasin
for having fougth bravely
in Foriegn Territory
out of their safty haven
~the display case of Subway

to Finally succumb to the
Cookie Monster
at the Caven of Caiyun's Enormous Mouth

It did not last past tea time..

But will be sadly missed ..

snifff snifff
their calories are currently resting
in the park of Caiyun's Butt...

come and pay your final respects
if you can
;p

starving is the badge of my tribe~

2006-07-20T13:12:00.000+08:00

I F I K I S S E D Y O U

If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Woud angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you.

If I kissed you
What would Michaelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But l guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms and kiss you.

If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.
Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you.

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo

==================================================

lol..
i woud love to kiss you..
to fill u up to the brim
with bubbliness
like champange in a glass

I would love to kiss you
and let the warm spread over you
like that little pat of butter
glazing hotcakes in the morning

I would love to kiss you
with molten chocolate in my mouth
and let you taste the sweetness
that life can bring
all gooey and sticky
in deep passionate french

I love you deep deep.. <3
==== written by jaslyblueclouds =======

and who do i wana kiss??
well that little chocolate cookie that has been sitting on my desk all morning of course
the one that has been seducing me
with little winks from its chocolate chips

driving me crazy with its wonderful perfume
of aromatic buttery decadence
urghsss

all the above has been evidently
written by a deranged mind
driven to hunger
all because the said writter
has been having too many suppers
and all set to perform next week
in a totally unflattering costume
with a little blubbering tummy
and
red is soooo not my colour
hmf
*tosses hair*

*coookieeeee*
okie just a LITTLE nibble

lets all pray for the fate of that innocent cookie
will it survive this lunch break ?
hmmm

and update of its status will be put forward
later in the day ..
please check with your friendly news-stand for further updates

HUgs and Kisses ~ my room smells of flowers

2006-07-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

thank you all ...
im truly feeling the lurrvveeee

and thank you for the fabulous "high-tea" session babes..
that you all kindly brought to my house

muacks!

a surprise visit from gege, qiao min and robin
thanks for the flower.. and the magic polen potion..
that is suppose to turn me back into a beauty again ;p

and a really really bright sunflower from dians and zhuang ..
thanksssssss

a promise of your supper delivery keeps me going for one more day ;p

heee

and finally

thankyou for "Tuesday With Morris"...
i will read it and hopefully be inspired to be a better person
however sometimes..
life gets too cynical ..

quote from another book im reading
: On Beauty by Zadie Smith
" Because you never get what you want. Your life is just an orgy of deprivation."

it just somehow juxtaposes the other book im reading
but i still i think its pretty cool
the authors phrases are really interesting..
words are just tools
for us to use
and for some people ..
magic happens

nighty night
i will have aromatic dreams... tonight
*maucks*

The return of the daughter of Frankenstein

2006-07-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

One dark stormy late afternoon....*Thunder booms*
the said victim came back .. feeling very tired after dance camp...
feeling constipated .. she decided to go to the loo before she konks out

But before any bowels got moved
She started to doze off .. dreaming lurid dreams
and then boom *dramatic scary muic*
she blacks out and falls head first onto the toilet door.
and *bam!!*
the impact knocks her out again...
*music fades away..*

when she regained conciousness..
blood was dripping all over her face and onto the floor
her dad was banding louding on the door..
she couldnt reply..
she couldnt call for help..
and slips back into blackness

when she woke up..
she was in an ambulance..
with a medic bending over her..
disorientated.. she closed her eyes and finally got a rest
the rest she had been wanting
for soo long

*after hours in the operating theater under the knife of a plastic surgeon..*
with 30 stiches ... and alot of injections
she emerges ... all patched up....
a modern day Frankenstieness...
a MONSTER....

Quick hide your children... !

Well seriously ..
thou this is a true life account...
i guess .. it dint come with a dramatic sound track ..
but i swear
everything was word for word.. ;p

during this whole amazingly absurb experience
half of my embarrassed self was kicking myself
for being soo stupid
the other vain half was kicking myself
for fear of being Ms Scar Face forever ;p
and i keep wondering if i was still dreaming
cliche as it sounded
i willed myself awake
but alas...

i was awake throughout the operation
and it gave me lots of time to think
while the doctor had asked me to sleep
somehow having needles going through your face
and strings tugging at your eyelids...
sleep just doesnt come that easily

it dawned upon me that
all this shit must be karma
maybe i have not been as good as i should be
maybe i can be a better person
and maybe ill be ugly forever

soo i started praying
to no god in particular
to any higher being that cared to listen
that i will survive this ordeal
un-disfigured
and i shall aim to be a better person..

i have seen the panic
that i had sent my parents into
and i vowed to show more appreciation to them
and to let them worry less
althou my mum is now soo paraniod
afraid that ill trip and fall over everything
that its driving me crazy

i vowed to be better to my friends
they have shown me much concern
kisses to dians and simin..
yesh.. im beautiful ..
no matter what happens..
*rolls eyes* lol

and i vowed to relive myself of all emotional baggages(mainly men..)
and focus on finding my direction in life
and making my career work...
it should no longer about me being happy
it should be about others being happy too

cai yun has worked too hard
and yun cai(caiyun's evil twin)
has played too hard
soo now..
being forced to slow down and
smell the proverbial roses yet again
i shall make the best of it

*kisses to my sis ..who gave me this wen i came back from the hospital*

and soonn
i promise soon
i will post the rest of my kili pics and journal
once.... my arch nemisis gives me my photos ;p
yeshh..
u
and only u
can call mi Hilary Potter ;p

To the rest..
im Frankenstina ;p
bwahahaha
okie.. sorri
i had a moment
must be the moon..

Kilimanjaro Dairy:

2006-07-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

While its been a week since im back..
and Africa is begining to seem like a dream
a different lifetime away

i hope by putting all my thoughts down online
would make them more real
and maybe this dream will linger longer
in the vestiges of time
and in my mind

soo here it all is
transplanted from my trusty little pink notebook
that followed me all these way
word for word..

Day 1:
~Fly Emirates
Tetris challenge with Nyan
Pillow fights with Heng
Curled up, stiff neck and lurid dreams
constant hunger pangs
satiated by good airplane food ..
yums

~We had departed at 12 am
Hungs from mummy, daddy & sissy
Ai xing red bean buns from daddy
i am reminded of how much my family loves me ;p

~2am Boarding
*first sign of excitment*
tempered by the forlorness of the boys
they seem so lost outa their element
*Supper*! First sign that we will be well-fed
Roast beef and cheesy sandwich
yummy egg cake with whipped cream
Burp!

~7am: Fitfull sleep with a good breakfast
Asparagus ommlette with hashbrowns
hot buttery croisaunts
with loads of jam and cream cheese
and a muffin
(which was gobbled up by a muffin monster the first thing we touched down ;p)

~9am Dubai Airport
initial promising DFS shopping turned out to be naught
Diary Queen's breakfast: rich but good
(yesh ..it was second breakfast..
as according to the hobbits ;p)
Never seen soo many people sleeping in an airport
it is desolatness in opulence

~Narobi Airport
Up to Kilimanjaro~ Volcanoe & Highest peak in Africa
Finally here ! puke!
After a long and tedious flight/transit/stoning
Never have i taken such a tumulous journey
i suspect the piolet thinks he is flying a fighter jet ;p
Baikun lost his luggage ;(
But it seems he is still good to go ..
hmm...
Hope he is not just putting on a brave front
(KH will kill mi if anything happens to him) lol...

The airport reminds me of Cambodia's
2 storey/ small shops/ dim lighting
But the weather was a surprise
All images of a hot sultry Africa
flew outa window ..
When a gust of cold , crisp wind blew past me..
sending shivers down my spine
i see rolling grassland,
i see the unfamiliar skin colour
and still it doesnt hit me that im in Africa
its all so surreal
and off we go....

Paul's letter bought a smile. a sigh and
perhaps a sense of loss
that im not having the opportunity to share this
experience with him
Despite dismisals of him being EMO
EMO also means heart
and Paul has made sure he is in all our hearts
as we embarked on this adventure .....

~5.16 pm: on the way to Impala Hotel
Following the sun through polarised panes
seeing the clear blue sky
so near, they seem touchable
teh long straight road
teh flat grassland
spreading out to infinity
i cant help but smile of pure happiness
i am finally out to see the world!

How to describe the clarity of what i see before me
spemthing i have tried but fail to capture
even in the camera
how to put to words the bluest of blue
with clouds in its 3D magnificence
you can sense that you are a little closer to heaven

i dnt need a compass to tell me where i am
i am here
and thats all that matters
ahhh a revelation!

Heng says: " wah the amount of space here"
well thats it isint it
unobstructed view as far as teh eye can see
this is space
this is freedom

~*Notes from Heng:
"I wish this never ends
pure bliss..
contentment just sitting here
looking out at the vastness
i feel small
humbled back to ground

~*Notes from TT:
The grass may not be greener
but the sky is definatly bluer!
I miss New Zealand ;)

*Co-authors of my lovly hot pink notebook diary

thats all for a very very long Day 1...

Alone

2006-06-30T16:26:00.000+08:00

Loving a person who can't love you back,
Is way lonelier than living alone....
~Grey's Anatomy

=as taken from ah kow's blog=

hmm
sighz..
in the end..
we are all alone
arent we

alone in a crowd
alone in a group
alone in a pair
alone by ourselves

solidarity is a fact of life

Renjani Photo Log

2006-06-27T03:33:00.000+08:00

My Journey up Ranjani: Part 4~ Day 6 & 7

Finally Bali for R&R
I wish R&Rs was longer
next time we promise to plan for a 3 day climb
and 7days R&R
lol

First stop: Daddy's Cafe
for a huge Aussie Brekafast
yums!

And we are off to the beach

Surfer-wanabees ;p

and to end it off
a surfer cafe for dinner

Pictures taken by a mabok photographer

and before we know it
its time to say goodbye
to our comfy hotel room

Thats it...
althou loads of other photos
make up this wonderful experience
i dont think they will ever be enough
to express all that i felt
;)

cheers to beautiful Bali
and to its friendly, hospitable people

Renjani Photolog

2006-06-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

My journey up Renjani: Part 3~ day 4 & 5
Summmit Push -- View from the top

Summit Sunrise

In daylight ;) after a long hard push ..
the snot, the fustration, the fear of falling into black oblivion..
it was all worth it

Hiding from frigging cold wind at the top .. brrrrr..
Followed by a slow decent to admire the amazing view
and photo-whore ;p

and down we go .. to sunny Bali !!
surf, sand and shopping !
yummy

short news flash

2006-06-07T17:06:00.000+08:00

yippy !
Rinjani(yes Mr.Po.. i hope im spelling it right this time ;p)
Photo Log Part 2 is out~
Partly due to lots of patience
and partly due to the fact that
ill rather do anything but my research work
at the mo.

soo please scroll a few posts down to see it :)

grrr
im feeling the side effects of the Dimox tablet
its suppose to help prevent AMS (altitude sickness)
however in saving me from headaches
im getting diarroea :(

soo as Eug says:
you want to lau sai or to have AMS?
hmm tough choice there
*scratch head*

Going to meet dians at the gym soon
*waves*
im feeling strong
after dance and rock climbing yest
but i wish i got more time to boulder more
;p there is a urgh to climb more
to exert more
to feel the burn in the arms
but looks like i wont get to do it until i come back from Kili
sobzzz

*sniff sinff*
yesterday i was hit by a certain fear
a fear that i have not bought enuf stuff for kili
i really dnt feel that i have
i feel ill-prepared
but limited funds calls for some sacrifice
i was gazing at my mummy's credit card
in my hands yesterday
it was so tempting to buy the whole shop
*sighz*

i hate the cold
i cant even tahan being in a air con room
of like 16 degrees

i was imagining myself
dying out there
in the snow
in africa
...
brrrrr....

i think i watched too many disaster movies
:(
but the fear is there
constant and nigging at me
...

*bah*

i fear
i fear
i fear

but when i express the fear to people
it sounds trivia
like in hot sultry Sinagpore
the idea of freezing to death
just cannot be fathom...

boo ..
i fear the unknown
but does the unkown fear me ?

Extremist

2006-06-03T09:45:00.000+08:00

Met Robin for dinner yest..
and althou we dont meet up often
he still found a need to gripe
and pull a damper on the whole mood

Somehow .. we ended up talking about fashion
and he said clothes are now to the point of indecency
that women today are wearing clothes..
but still seem naked

while I try to point to the fact that
in the end we are born without clothes
and in fact the reason clothes came about
other than all the part about Adam and Eve
and the apple and the shame ...
was probably due to some powerful selfish man
who wants to keep his women to himself
and therefore went about dictating
that clothes should be worn for modesty

But what is modesty
why is it that we need to be ashamed our our naked selfs
the questions intrigues me
from a sociology point of view
but he refuses to be drawn into a discussion
on the evolution of society
instead
a he gave a tirade of how he knows many women out there
who chosses to dress modestly for their own sake
and how ..I .. tend to dress to the extreme

In fact it bacome a point of how ..
I tend to do everything to the extreme
OKAY ..
so apparently .. i dress indecently
i committe myself to too many things
i shop to extreme
i trek to the extreme
i work to the extreme
i throw caution to the wind and jump into things
and end up giving up on other things
~like our relationship

okayyyy
soo in the end everything is always about him..
but i was tired
it was a old arguement
and i felt very tired
after being put down so many times in one day

soo in the end ..
i am not capable
~just crazy
i do not have a good dress sense
~ just trashy
i do not have a balanced life
~ just selfish

THANK YOU .. i feel soo good as a person now...
he is SUCH FUN to be with
*wheee.. twirls fingers in the air*

i am quiet
i am tired
i am sick of people trying to judge
and i am begining to loose a sense of myself

do people actually think that lowly of me..
usually i dnt give a shit
but its times like these
that you reel back in shock
and wonder what does the world think of you

haiz.. *chants*
this is my space
this is my space
this is my space
*breath*

to see what we want to see.. to hear what we want to hear

2006-05-30T12:54:00.000+08:00

while trying to load more of my Ranjani pics
I gave up halfway
the constant disconnecting of my comp
is making the process tedious..
shall do it when im more patient ;p
and more sleep ..

More thoughts have poped up
that requires some attention
before i forget abt them altogether
many "bonding" talks have been had
and as usual
its half gossipy and half personal
.. ;p

some have led to some insights
or in a way set the path to some cerebral activity
that linked certain abstract feelings together
to reach upon a point of conclusion
that can be safely said to be a new perspective

while helping a certain confuse young man
clear his many-segmented heart
i cant help but to reflect
on my own predicament
and the many subjects that come into play
i only thank god that i am not a guy

From the tahan ..
i can only say :
All guys want to be heros
its just who they choose to be heros to
~ so gals should stop complaining about the lack of heros
~ and wonder who will want to be their hero
but the problem with this age old game of love is that
in the end
everybody is just knocking on the wrong door
soo in the end we should all just take a step back and
and backtrack
then everything will be right ..
rigth?.....

if only life was so simple

give me just one night
to have him by my side
to bask in his essence
and keep him close by
but i had that one night
and now i noe that
it was not mine to take
and it had never ever been mine
~cloudy 3.40 pm .. walking stoned~

soo after sciccors curry rice
and yummy ah balling
and a long talk with De
through a disection of my inner psyhic
and of many others
i have come to a conclusion
finally
after soo long
that i am ready to close that final chapter
of a long over-due book
and throw it back to the return bin

as for u ....

i was hoping you would be a better man
but i think
in the end
all is just a dream
and i just want to wake up now

=according to De=
bec im soo strong..
and am kinda guy-ish
i need:
someone confident
capable in many ways
both in sports and in interlect
able to engage me in deeper reflections
and amuse me with a store of views and stories
i need someone i can respect
whom i can depend on
i cannot stand emotional dependency
and i must be sure that he is capable of
providing me with what I want in life in future

=i would say=
his analysis is pretty sport on
pehaps as an after-though
~ he needs to excel in at least one area...
a sport .. an area of academic...
~ he needs to be a confident driver
to like speed but yet have full control of his car
i think that tells alot of a guy
~ to be spontanous and never staid

looking at it all
seems like a tall order
i do not think guys like these are hard to find
but as i say
it all depends
if they want to be your hero
BUT ...if the guy is soo good
what makes him think he will want you
ahhhhh
therein lies the ultimate question
Am i good enuf..?

whatdo yah think babes ??
am i asking for too much ..
*ponder.. ponder*

i know i have bore u all long enough
and soo i shall no longer dwell on such a
ego-manic topic
for i am NOT high-EMO
*according to Mr. Po:
it means~ requiring high emotional support*
lol

chaus
~to bath.. to climb .. to eat
if only life is always soo easy ...

Ranjani photo log

2006-05-20T00:05:00.000+08:00

My journey up Rinjani: Part 2~ Day 3 and 4

DAY 3: UP TO POST CAMP 1 AND NIGHTWALK DOWN

A 6am wake up call to catch the sunrise...

Got scratched by some plant and developed an allergic reaction...
so the first day past in a haze of pain, anti-histamin and wozzy head

Hungry Ghosts and morale food ;p

our porters had at work feeding us ;)

Our very own nature spa..

ahhh a waterfall beside a hot spring ..
what more can we ask for... :)
although the night walk to this campsite was super crappy
there were times in the night..
when you are exhausted.. wet.. cold.. slipping in mud.. perilously hanging for your life..and you wonder... when are we going to reach our destination

~life's like that

and our amazing campsite>>>
dawn broke ..and reveled to us
the magnificent visage

our wonderful tents ..
which are always pitched with sleeping bags and pillow
set out for us whenever we reach a campsite

Loch Ness Monster Sighting in Rinjani Lake..*wooo*

Wananbe photographer...
*i remembered to take the camera cover off okie ;p*

Getting ready for another long day of trek
our guide..who taught me berhasar indonesia..
and german and french .. all in an indonesian accent
half the time it all sounds the same to me..

and who half-proposed to me..
scared the living daylights outa me..
which was the reason why ..
i stop walking in front by myself..
and hid behind Heng the rest of the way... lol

thats all for now .. view from the top ..
coming soon ;)

Rinjani photo log

2006-05-17T10:46:00.000+08:00

My Journey Up Rinjani: Part 1 ~ day 1 and 2

DAY 1: AUSTRALIAN AIR to Bali

I love airplane food .. ;) Spinach lagsana and the best buttery pastry .. which *sniff* i donated to heng .. bec he doesnt take veg! bah

From Bali we took a marathon road trip of a 3 hr bus ride to the Ferry, 5 hours Ferry ride to Lombok and a 2 hours bus ride to our hostel.. all the while I was concussed due to the anti-motion sickness pill i ate .. Zzzzzzzz

DAY 2: JOHN'S ADVENTURE HOSTEL

Althou shaged out .. the best welcome was waiting for us..

Banana pancake! yums.. with sweet pineapple and hot lemon tea...
it was to be our stable breakfast for the rest of the trip
but whos complaning ...
Lets not forget our cute band .. who played for us as we ate...
they were great.. althou with a limited song list..
they can beat the Singapore Idols flat..
even their indo pop songs sound good ;)

after lunch .. we went on a short trek to 2 waterfalls ..
magestic but freezing... brrrr

thats it for now.. the following days will be the real trek.. and as they say.. the adventure never ends...

*laters*

Long Live Disco !! ;p

2006-05-10T11:55:00.000+08:00

===jaslyn, your closet's inspired by the '70s =====

Are you feeling hot? Because it looks like you've got disco fever! Even if you don't have a passion for platform shoes, you've got a lively and fun look that's right in step with the '70s.

Disco darlings knew how to hustle up outrageous outfits from tight leisure suits to big, bold butterfly collars. And a fun, life-of-the-party girl like you isn't afraid to take risks and stand out either. You may enjoy hitting the town in something more modern like a metallic dress, sky-high leather boots, or humungous hoop earrings. No matter what, you've got that special '70s something that makes everyone feel like dancing. Groovy, baby!

==================================================

lol
i cannot imagine that ...
Am i that retro ...
;p

in times of doubt.. duck quack

2006-05-10T02:41:00.000+08:00

i sense there is talk about me
but i just dunoe about what
too many small-hearted people
with too little things to occupy them
perhaps

nobody ever asks me anything
i am always the last to know
if something is about me
shouldnt they
as Yun Feng so rightly puts it
get the answer from the horse's mouth
perhaps people dnt expect the truth from me

do i look that dishonest
or do i look that fierce
.....
only the ravens know
and the vultures wait and watch
for the bodies to fall
and then they pick their meal
in a corner
hurriedly before the hyennas come
the social hieracy works that way...

life is too short
to bother about talk

unless its a true communication
between 2 humans
that enriches the soul
and bring us closer together

my heart beated
plop .. plop .. plop
in huge big plops
as i stared into that face
those light brown eyes
why must life be soo complicated
sighz

sleep beckons
it will not be ignored
its time to say buenas noches
thank you for the shout-out
all the way from Barca
it really made my day

but of course

Bananas about bananas .. and pineapple and ect and etc..

2006-05-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

chao dah yun
is peeling like mad
a walking pile of dead skin i am
leaving a trial of myself wherever i go
somehow that does sounds more romantic than it actually is

still reeling from a 2day whirlwind romance with Bali
the inner monster in me
grining my evil grinz
when i heard that it had been flooding (imagine that!)
in rainy Singapore
while we basked in the bright blue skys of Bali ...

While the trek itself wasnt all too hard
i had the bad luck of having an allegic reaction to some vegetation
and passed the first day groggy and weak
its fustrating not to be able to exert to your full potential
its like superman trying to fly
with cryptonite on his back
....
like poppey finding that the local mama-shop
had ran out of spinach
....
like batman
having heat rash in his skin-tight rubber suit

the depressing situation was made worse with a night trek
that saw us trugging along narrow clifffaces
with almost no light
our weak and weary limbs wobbling along
steep cliff faces

it was times like those that i begin to appreciate
the things i was made to go through in OAC
we never really belived in the bullshit
of activities to train our night confidence
of methods to train initiative and preparedness
and then BAM!
... all those bullshit dnt seem soo bull after all

The first day of muddy paths had given way to nice Alpine terrain
and a hot spring bath to start the day
it is amazing to bath under hot water flowing right from a crack in the mountain
while a waterfall sprayed icy mists just beside the hot spring pool
the experience is hmm.. like you are lounging in nature's spa
how cool is that ;p

the last push up the Ranjani summit at 2am
was hmm....
a test of personal mental strength
and as i stumbbled up loose stones
with the guides far in front
and everyone else far below
their headlamps
little specks of lights wavering slowly in the deep dark night
and the wind holwing at me
as i sat on a rock to rest
i felt the desolateness
of being alone
in the darkness
with no where to go but up

time to time
i would hear swearing floating up from down below
and as i fall on all fours
trying to grad a hold
in the constantly shifting stones
one wonders
how nice it would be to give up
....
give up .. give up ..give up
echos in the wind

anywaz.. giving up is never an option
and we should never consider it even in life
just have enough common sense to know when its smart to back off
backing off is not giving up
dnt let your ego tell you otherwise
backing off is just living ot fight another day
*smiles*

on the last day in Lomok
met a really interesting polish guy at my hostel
a fleeting aquiantance
but enriching none-the-less
a huge-hulking blonde
with arms bigger than my thunder thighs
holding on to olden values
and a love for the outdoors
he lectures on the sociology of fashion
and plans events for car shows
and makes use of summer breaks to travel
snow boards, pratices muay thai and played rudgy competitively
he has broken about every possible bone on the left side of his body
and yet
he loves to do what he does

it makes me wonder if i should just persue my interests
my passions
and not be too bothered about
societal status and all that crap
..
but still
at the end of the day this little girl
just wants to return to warm open arms
with a nice bed to snuggel into

maybe i should be a pet::
=========== jaslyn the instant companion ===============

comes with a wide array of wardrobe and accessories
- LV bags, ipod nano, Aldo shoes...
can be anything you want
from Jungle Jaslyn to Nerdy Jasly to Sexy Secretary Jaslyn
just groom her, feed her and show her some affection once in a while
and she will be the best companion as and when you need some TLC
speaks in 3 languages *comes with purring options*
shake well before opening
batteries not included

=================================================================

my Colourgenics profile

2006-05-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

and soo a little window of my heart closes

2006-05-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

me: Boo
he: hi

and that was all...

there is nothing more..

i think he is lost forever ....

and so
i guess
perhaps its the closure im looking for ...

finally

never ever ever

again

Burn the floor and my tummy

2006-04-23T10:23:00.000+08:00

This post is backdated to 23rd April 2006
due to the incapability of the writer
who pressed "save as draft" instead of "publish post"
the writer apologises for her general "pah-jiao-ness"
which is partly due to the general confusion of mutli-tasking
of packing, writing, eating, watching tv and trying to juggle the naggings of 2 parents at the same time....

Burn the Floor
followed the basic rule of entertainment
: Sex sells
soo basically there will lots of boobs
bare chest
six packs
tight leather
and skimpy shorts

and in between
there are more staid ballroom numbers
which meant the show volley between
fast paced sex moves
and slow paced ballroom
but all in flashy cabaret style
with 1
I repeat 1 volcalist
soo it felt like a solo concert instead...

haha
oh my
ahh welll
it wasnt too bad actually
entertaining
and robin bought the tixs
which is sweet
and we saved a bomb
because while we had off-side seats
when the show started
audiences at the sides were allowed to move to better center seats
it pays to be prudent
or at least it pays robin to be prudent
for i am never prudent
it is not my middle name
it is infact
not in my vocabulary
;p

nah im kidding
i have my moments of weaknesses
for i enjoy life and the sweetness that it blesses upon us
like good sahsimi, Godiva chocolates and LV bags
but practicality is my middle name
until it comes to shoes...
which is not a neccessity
it is a life-style....
an art form
to allivate us from the blandness
of plain old boring flats ;p
poo

anywaz...
schools over and the partying that i promised myself
dint quite turn out thr way i wanted it to be
but ahh well
life is unpredictable
i mean
i am unpredictable ;p

my internal systems took a major overhual
and i basically puked
like i have never puked in my life
in front of people i barely knew
who hopefully
will not remember a single thing
perhapes 20 years from now

i dnt wana be walkign down the road one day
all chic and self confident
and someone goes
" hi! arent u the gal that mer-lioned at er jun's..
hahah we call it the night of Exorsist"

burghhh
*pukes green slime*
anywaz.. packing for Ranjani now
hope for a good trek
and a even better get holiday at Bali
i can hear the beaches calling meeeee
*whooosh*
sun, sand and surf...
here i come ;p

At last.. i am fulfilled

2006-04-17T16:40:00.000+08:00

* Life of Pi*
by Yann Martel

After starting this book in the middle of the term,
I have finally managed to finish it
it was an amazing journey
through an unbelivable adventure
of an incredible person
an Indian boy named after a French swimming pool
whos father owns a zoo in a small French-controled area
of the British empire India
and who managed to survive a shipwrek in a lifeboat
with a full-size-male-bengal-tiger
and a hyena
and an orangutan
and a zebra
and many cockroaches
and flies
and sharks swimming ard hungrily outside
and a carnivoreous island
and ...
you get the picture

Its a wonderful and whimpsical tale of
a boy
with a love for animals and religion
both of which managed to save his life
in a situation which would have killed others

while the book had a wonderful rambling start
giving us a romantic portrait of a man
which is easy to like
whose courage we look forward to read and admire
however the end
somehow seemed darker
and you wonder
about the origins of the story
about how humans
can be personified into animals
and what is the line
seperating the truth for fantasy
it perhaps draws some association to the book Animal Farm

and that caused some kind of dissapointment in me
for I would rather belive in a whimpsical ending
a fairtale ending
then wake up with a splash of cold water
and realised it was all just a figment of an imagination
but still not wanting to spoil anybody's read
I shall say no more
it is none-the-less
a wonderful book
and I totally agree with Pi
on his view of religion
embrace all
for as long as the gods bring you closer to
to nature
and lfeel ove
~the all emcompassing love
for mankind
for yourself
... it is good enough
there is no best religion
there is no singular religion
for arent all religions borne on the believes of men

keep an open heart
that is something no amounts of chicken soup can give you :)

and i shll end with the pic of us being trapped on the train tracks
while a train comes rushing down at us

~ yeah rights ;p

but beside the bukit timah railway tracks lies
a very nice italian restaurant~Valentino
*will keep a mental note*

ciao

westside boys... ohhh Bernado..

2006-04-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

i am finally not a student..
well not exactly
for arnt we suppose to be students all our lives
u should never stop learning
blahblahblah
ahh well

okie
let me rephrase that
i am finally not a undergrad

and soon
ill be a bonafide graduate
with a degree to boot
and .....

ill never be able to use my bus pass
ill never get student discounts
ill never get to mug like shit and sleep 2 hrs everyday
ill never get the sneak coffee into the library everyday
ill never get to wrek my brains about what to eat for lunch everyday
(its also either kopitiam or kopitiam or kopitiam)
ill never get to play yahoo games during boring lectures
ill never get to check out cute guys in betwwen classes
just when the guy population is actually increasing....
damn
ill never
ill
i

yeah ..
as amazing as it sounds
ill actually miss SMU
miss the crazy rush for projects
the sleepless nights
the coffee highs
the days spent wasting my time away at pick and bite
like i have all day
while a report waits to be written
just because i can ..

addios

But for now..
its partying time!!!
woohoo
had jap food galore and went into movies overdrive

next week:
will drink and make merry every night
everybody repeat after me..
tues: wine party
wed: mambo
thurs: nines sports bash
friday: MOS.. perhaps
or maybe some quiet time
with people whose company i enjoy ..

before i go to torture myself again
on the mountains of indonesia
on sunday
lalallalalal
which is thus not a good idea to wear my knees out with all the dancing
but ahh well
shall take it all in one druken step at a time
i cant wait to get abit sloushed
and dance till dawn

and with the sending of my last report
my pms ended
amazing
and i am now happier
and chocolates no longer rule my mind
amazing how our lives are controled by blood flow
guys are control by which of their heads they think with
depending on the blood flowing upwards or downwards
girls are controled whether they are happy or cranky montly
also depending if the blood is flowing upwards of downards

i think humans will be more efficient ccreatures
if our lives are not thrown into such havoc

anywaz..
had saw alot of blood and gore with
the movie "Hostel"
i think it might have put some ppl off back packing in eastern europe
for a looonggggg while
Quienten Tarantino is the master of gore
i like the way he views revenge
very old school
~an eye for an eye shit..

Revenge is also part of the theme for Westside Story
its like a broadway classic
~ with the usual .. gang of local boys agaainst
the gang of migrant boys
and 2 people from the opposite gangs falls in love
a guy and a girl
of course
duh

A La Romeo and Juliet
lots of dancing
and singing
and more singing..
and a hot spanish hunk
as Bernado
the brother of the said juliet "Maria"
who got killed by her romeo "Anton"
who got tipped off wrongly by Maria's good friend
and Bernado's girlfriend "Anita"
that "Chino" the guy Maria is suppose to marry
had killed her out of anger after finding out about them
which wasnt true
but Anton got killed by "Chino" in the end anaywaz
and in the end everybody was sorry ...

ahh sounds complicated doesnt it
lol

ahh well the story is kinda cliched
somebody must always die in the end
but i guess
when it was first shown
it wasnt such a cliche
soo given that
i must say i troughly enjoyed it
although the seats werent soo good
and i spent half the time
hanging out of the balcony trying to watch it
for a moment there
i wondered if i fell onto the audience
could they cushion my fall

but it was my virgin esplande play and
i must say its like worlds apart from the victoria theater
and the small theaters in london
which i visited
posh posh posh
no wonder there is no theater viewing culture in Sinagpore
it just looks too intimidating

right now i feel like a hot chocolate
boo
more chocolates
..
ahh well
i guess
chocolates has nothing to do with
....pms
lol

*a hug to everyone*
for completing the exams
still in one piece

Thats HOt .. muacks

2006-04-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

jaslyn, your lips say you've got Feisty Flair

We're not just paying you lip service when we say you have bold style and a bright spark that shines through in everything you do. You love taking risks, from sporting a wild fashion trend to spicing up your life with salsa dancing or cooking classes.

A firecracker like you is never afraid to turn up the heat. So, it's no surprise that you use your lips to say "Yes" to most of life's exciting opportunities. And that's why your friends are always wondering what you're going to try or say next. It's part of what makes you so much fun to be around. Now that's spicy!

2006-04-07T17:57:00.000+08:00

finally my first 8 hours of sleep for the year
* applause*!!!!

intoxicated i was
even with the stench of sweat
i could hardly breath .....

breath girl .. breath ..
for he is not worth it ;p

long live Italia..

2006-04-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

The Italians reallly noe how to eat
thats what i tot as i walked home
something which i badly needed
as the food fought to be digested in my tummy ;p

had dinner with deming at nice quaint italian rest.
the deco is kischy..
with what seems to be clothes hanging from the ceiling
and renassiance pictures.. pasted on the walls
and mannequins.. dressed in lace.. and pearls
reallly cool
and the person attending to us
was guess what
a hot italian hunk!
woohoo
my eyes lit up as we entered
apparently its family-runned
he greeted us at the door..
and basically he did everything
from sitting us down
to serving us
to sending us out
ahhh... i smiled my best smile .. ;p
soo hard to find good service nowadays *winks*

hmmmm...
~buschetta with amazing tangy, spicy tomatoe and sardine toppings
~crab meat soup.. bursting with flavor
~squid ink raviolli with crab meat filling.. *amazing*
~fried calamari with fresh salad
~creamy tiramisu with sweet, warm apple pie
accompanied by light white wine ....

ahh this is life
if only meals were like that everyday
maybe i can marry into the family ..
and run a restaurant
lol
how fun
like from some movie..
if only there is the mafia involved ;p
like the Sopranos
hmm.. i always wanted to be a triad boss..
well that or at least the triad boss's wife ;p

its seems to be a week ..
no make its 2 weeks of indulgence
with JB seafood dinner
which in itself is unspeakable sin
where every single chelesterol and fat group is featured
its like they all queue up and wait to be ingested and
take their righful place on ur body ;p

urghssss i can imagine them smirking as we stuff ourselves with them
"ill have dips on her waist" ..
"nono i want her love handles..
i see lots of nice fats there to keep me company"
bleah
evil thoughts
evil thoughts

hmmm at least we worked out at the trek for a bit
Panti was boring as expected
but the nigth at the peak was kinda fun
all thanks to er jun and melvin lugging up beer and wine all the way
beer brings everybody closer together..
lol

its the international ice breaker
soo .. before the dinner was even done
we were all very happy people
and not minding how wet we are..
taking silly photos ..and singing

i mean.. sitting around a fire and singing!!
how campfire~nostalgia
but could feeel a little age gap
when we were singing chinese songs
the others are singing
theme songs from disney
...
i mean..
disney...??

okie ..haha but it was fun larz
and i shd not be an old fart
i hummed along when i could anywaz
and i had the best sleep in like weeks
even thou i slept at 3am
and the wind was blasting cold
long live army jackets!!
i was warm and snug in dreamland
thank you bk
i hoep u were not TOOO cold...

well we had milo heart to heart talk..
well not my heart anywazz..
heee
its good to be one of the guys
great i am officially the 8th guy gg to Renjani
woohooo *twirls fingers in the air*
;p

maybe that why i cant find a guy
lol
cause they cant find me!
ahh what brilliant deduction
clever Einstien Jas
now start figuring why its an apple that fell on newton's head
and not a pear

go figure....

*today ended a little dissapointingly..
i knew i should have been more proactive
i noe i can do it
....
but i depended on teh others too much
and soo in my lull of complacency
i think we left a bad impression
sighzz..
a little A flutters outa window :(
byebye.......
parting is such sweet sorrow
noo actually its not sweet
its been very bitter :P *

boo
blue
low morale
lowwwwwwwwwwww morale

The Curtain Falls

2006-04-01T08:55:00.000+08:00

and where is my encore ?

when i finally finished my last presentation
it was only of resignation..
uncomfortable relief
for while all is over..
i would have wished to end my 4 years of SMU life
with a bang of a presentation
you noe ..
like a grand finale
the dramatic death scene that
moves everyone to a standing ovation

but alas
with onli 2 hrs for sleep
for the past 4 days
all we could puke out
was alot of blood and sweat and tears
and last nights dinner..
never have i felt soo close to
giving up in my life
- the F* it
and give in slipshot work..

but in the end..
we somehow pulled through
i have to thank my group mates..
esp to Kayboon for pulling the advertising project through
while we are like 2 indecisive sods
he has managed to pull the ppt through with amazing work
I have amazing respect for ur craft
come lets sing it with me
" R-E-S-E-E-C-T .. hmhmhmhmhmhm"
okie that is all i remember of the Diana Ross song

anywaz..
as the curtain falls
its still kinda surreal
i somehow dnt feel like i have done 4 years of work
and certainly dnt feel like a professional yet
ahh well
soo where is my encore ??

- i should be packing for my trek-
and i will .. :)

+attack of the 60 ft nerves+

2006-03-20T17:29:00.000+08:00

the post that i was typing for the past hour
was mercilously murdered by my computer
when it disconnected as i was loading

so in memory of my labour of literrary effort
lets have a minute of slience
for something whose life
was soo aruptly cut short
even as it was entering the world

damn it i hate my computer
grrrrrr
*roars in despair*

now you all will never know what the title mean....
bawahhahhaah

~ sleep ~

2006-03-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

had a solid 11 hours of sleep
well not too solid
i konked out by 11pm
woke up with a start at 6am
fell back asleep
and dreamt weird lurid dreams
that made me scratch my head
when i woke up again at 8am
dragged myself to the bathroom
but in the last moment
just as i was about to step in ....
i did a jerk-turn
and jumped into my parents bed
and back into the sweet arms of the sandman
till i finally got woken up by the another strange dream
at 10am

*wheew*
what a work out even before i even officially woke up
dreaming seems more tiring
for i was still sleepy the whole day
with one leg stuck in dreamland

my eye-bags gave me a scare
when i looked into the mirror
and i thought ..
this doesnt look like one who has slept for 11 hours
what had happened ?
i think all those dreams
kept my brain running on over-drive
soo technically i have a deficite
of 11 hours of non-sleep
:(
booo

i demand a refund from the sandman!!!
*shakes head*
nobody sleeps for 11 hours and look like a POW..
~ who hasent slept since the war started like 2 decades ago...
~ surving only by eating her nails
There must be QC !!

Hopefully will have a better week ahead
im looking forward to some pampering
and maybe some HOT french eye candy
courtesy of Melva ;p
you go girl...!
....and since its my pimp daddy's big day this week
this is dedicated to him :P
hehehe!

regardless of where i am heading
i hope it is in the final direction
of happiness

~ i am slowly forgetting ~
maybe not forgetting
but at least
i am no longer pining
no longer hopeing
no longer dreaming
of any possibility
with you

soo fly away little bird
you are free to go
to wherever you please
to roam the world
and maybe ...
hopefully ...
when you had your fill of the world
you will fly back to me
and tell me all about your adventures
and i will be happy
to listen and nodd in wonder

*farewell*

=roller coaster ride=

2006-03-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

=I am on a rollercoster ride=
a week of highs and lows

the stress was getting to me
that i had the worst possible migrane ever
my eyes hurt soo bad
i wanted to yank them out
to sit in a corner and cry them out
to stick my pen into them stake my brain out
anything to stop the searing pain
burning right behind my eyes

people says im a superwoman
well i guess superwoman has her bad leotard days too
;p

but still there are the highs ..
*sleeping more
after surviving on less than 3 hrs on average

*we won 2nd place in the tri-challeng !!
my power team of shaun and ben
ben was a trooper ..
giving us a lead of second place
even thou he was down with food poisoning
i loveeeee my teammmmmmm ~~!!
my second medal from the school
i am soo loving my last year of uni
if onli it will never end ....
but i do wish my thighs will stop aching
*groanzz*

*Manda's 21st party at Westin was ..
R-rated at times lol
i cannot believe the things our caderas guys can come up with
i will never ever look at a Y-string the same way again
the whole thing is caught on film lol
maybe we can slip it out
it shall our very own SMU video
i hope dear manda
had fun ...
which is the most important
you can only be 21st once
but u can be only 22, 23 ,24 .. once too
soo yah

*finished our performnce for SMU Open House
while i had said im perfectly happy to dance without a partner
it really gave me a sense of achievement
to have danced the Ran Kan Kan with kevin
he is a really sweet darling partner
i thank him for his guidance
thinking back at where i started out
when i barely knew any salsa last term
i felt it did come some way
while im still far from being good
it still gave me a buzzz
the adrenaline during the performance
~when ceolho throws me high into the air
and i land with a smile on my face
....priceless

And the lows
*a dip in my blipping day
i guess im not sad
just more jumbled
for when feelings are put to words
its hard to ignore pure facts
but at least
there is no vacumn occupied
by things left unsaid
that hangs in the air
like a heavy fog

the bubble of a fastasy world cannot last forever
*plop*
it will go one day

we are both lost souls
may we find a compass soon
for the river cannot meander forever
but for now
lets enjoy the journey and take in the view

i remember a question thrown at me by my JC teacher
in an interview for leadershp positions in my CCA
they asked:
if you are in a boat on a fast flowing river
and you reach a junction
one way brings you to a deadly waterfall
while the other brings you to ur destination
you team is certain its one way
while you are sure its the other way
so now
what will you do ??

-what i said-
given the lack of time to have a discussion
i will insist on my way
and then explain to my team mates
the reasons for my choice later

what would you do ??

* a little good feeling for the day*

Jasmine

Which Disney Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

-never again-

2006-03-06T00:29:00.000+08:00

the sanctity of this blog has been violated
i feel somehow violated
is there something call blog molestation?

how will i ever want to write in it again
to paint the pictures in my mind
although they might not be a word by word replay of my life
every word i write
is a representation of my musings
blue as it may seem sometimes
it is still my beloved mind

i did not write whatever i write as a cry for attention
i did not publicised it with loud neon words shouting "read me"
it is a place for mi to share my thoughts with my friends
and whoever who chance upon it by fate
who hopefully will be rewarded with something that i can offer
my own perspective

trust is of the utmost importance to me
and if there is no trust
there is no point

everything must have a point
even in paintings
there is a always a point of reference
or the painting will seem flat
without depth
or perspective
2D is not how we want to live our lives
do we?

so should you actually try to pry again
to sneak a look at my conversations
that you are not privy to
and invade my privacy
then let me say
i am sorely dissapointed
and there is no point
for i do not like flat paintings

i do not wish to self-censor
any more than i already am doing
please give me the space
to paint my own pictures
regardless of how they turn out to be
for i want to be an artisit
at least in my own world

free is the expression of oneself
the freedom to fly beyond our earthly bounderies
but should there be chains
pulling us down with responsibilities
than we will all be like the collector's butterflies
pinned on a display
beautiful
but only for the pleasure of others

-the mysterious black hole-

2006-03-04T17:03:00.000+08:00

last week was one of little sleep and alot of acne
the two go hand in hand
like the best of friends

however, one huge advertising presentation was nailed
the professor sent us an email
the client team - it was a good presentation

woohoo!!
now everybody can celebrate ;p

but i wonder..
the email seems pretty short
to the point..
soo was it curt and dismissive ?
or is it the german in him that make this email lack certain warmth

soo isit a ..
passable - good
okay - good
wow! - good
or
im soo impressed im speechless - good

i hope it was the last
but he doesnt look impressed
although i havent seen him look impressed
so i wouldnt know how that looks like
*rolls eyes*
maybe its the advertising industry
god-forbid if people see you looking impressed
then u will loose ur edge
such is the poker face world in which we live in

i wonder if that is the industry i wana work in
i wonder who will want me..
hmmmm
but now a job is not the most pressing problem
because
............

i forgot to file for graduation!!
lol
die .. im a such a blur f*
i should be shot
or maybe at least be given an organiser
a cute hot PA would be even better
one who speaks in many languages
and comes in a variety of clothes to match every occasion
i can bring him everywhere
*dreams*....

but i should stop dreaming
and come back down to the real depressing world
because
right now
i am not hired
my A*s are not comfirm
my dean's list is hanging on a precarious tread
i am single, dateless and undesirable
i have a no money to shop
i cannot clear my 80 hours

but actually its not about the clearing of hours that im sad about
its not being able to go
its my dream to trek in alpine conditions
and ... well
only sabrina knows why im really sad..

but i will have to quit dance to go
how does a girl decide :(
howhowhowhowhowhow....

there is still that emptyness
that struck soo suddenly today
i sit and wonder
and hurt
a little blue blinking tab on the msn
made it slightly better
but still
bitter sweetness
is not my favourite flavour

Food for Thought - a fallacy that we are all guilty of

2006-02-26T10:29:00.000+08:00

By nature, humans have trouble with 'becomings'. Our minds attach labels to things in the surrounding world, and we interpret those labels as discontinuities. If things have different labels, then we expect there to be a clear line of demarcation bewteen them.

How many times have you been in a discussion in which somebody says "We have to decide where to draw the line"" For instance, most people seem to accept that in general terms women should be permitted abortions during the earliest stages of pregnancy but not during the very late stages. "Where you draw the line", thou , is easily debated - and of course some people wish to draw it at one extreme or other. There are similar debates about exactly when a developing embryo becomes a person, with legal and moral rights. Is it at conception? When the brian first forms? At birth? Or was it always a potential person, even when it 'existed' as one egg and one sperm?

The 'draw the line' philosophy offers a substantail political advantage to people with hidden aggendas. The method for getting what you want is first to draw the line somewhere that nobody would object to, and then gradually movie it to where you really want it, aruguing continuity all the way. For example having agreed that killing a child is murder, the line labelled 'murder' is then slid back to the instant of conception; having agreed that people should be allowed to read whichever newspaper they like, you end up supporting the right to put the recipe for nerve gas on the Internet.

If we were less obsessed with drawing labels and discontinuity, it would be much easier to recognize that the problem here is not where to draw the line: it is the image of drawing a line is inappropriate. There is no sharp line, only shades of grey that merge unnoticed into one another- despite which, one end is manifestly white and the other equally clearly black. An embryo is not a person, but as it develops it gradually becomes one. There is no magic moment at which it switches from non=person to person- instead, it merges continuously from one into the other.

- qouted from the Science of Discworld by Terry Prachett, Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen- Terry: while he writes about fantasy, his stories are always insightful about the true nature of human behaviour and the laws of society.

While as children
adults find a need to help us understand the world
by simplifying things into black and white
but as we grow
and learn
and experience
we should have learnt that the world
is never in monochrome

Instead it is alive, vivid
painted in many different colours
Just like in the movie "Pleasentville"
While colours bring about confusion and uncertainty
it makes life soo much more rich and textured

Life is not just about shades of grey
i feel
Life is filled with a riot of shades and tonnes and light
and we as Men and Women
should live through these colours
and stop worrying about
'Drawing The Line'

compulsion..

2006-02-25T09:47:00.000+08:00

My my.. i had my fill of intense men these past few days
Joaquin Pheonix, Eric Bana, Ralf Fiennes, Jake Gyllenhaal..
Robin..;p
It must be the highest concentration of movies
i had ever watched in such a short span of time

But the most intense award definatly goes to Joaquin Pheonix
He was up to his usual brooding antics in walk the line
but he had applied himself with such craft that
there were times when i see the agony in his eyes
and i could feel myself falling in love with him

Therein lies my problem..
why does my heart goes out to Joaquin?
Do i like my men constantly suffering??
Those men in constant turmoil with themselves
who have too many inner demons to deal with
that it shows in their eyes..
the haunted soulful look ..

Looks like I must have some serious issues man...

Anywaz Munich is great great story
told from a different perspective
about the long-standing war between Israel and Palestine
I have never been a fan of Eric Bana
Always thought his body has always been too bulky to fit his face
Especially for The HULK *gag*
But his gaunt look in Munich becomes him.
And I must say the grey-tinted lighting
and the stylish costumes
have made a fan out of me...

And somehow the movie has given me the urge to cook
no other movie has given me such compulsion since
some long-forgotten ..
straight-to-video ..
Sarah Michelle Gellar's movie
on the magic of cooking

I think its the constant sceenes of Eric cooking
huge meals for his assasination team..
and how they bond over meals
good food unifies the world
If everybody sits down over a meal
anything can be settled ;p

if only...

hmmm... maybe i should go food shopping:
mozzarella cheese, smoked salmon, pesto sauce, pasta, portebello mushrooms..
bell peppers, rocket lettuce, pumkin, spinach...
hmmm i can see the menue in my mind already..
ahh but now my stomach callls
and no amount of imagination can satisfy it
soo it will be bah pao for now ...

the sight of shore moves further away... the sands have shifted.. everything has changed .. but i cannot control it... powerless is what i feel.. helplessness... maybe not...

Brokeback Casanova

2006-02-20T01:09:00.000+08:00

A love story that should not be told
Not for the squeemish or the homophobic
But seeing 2 guys make out is both
cring-worthy and yet sexy at the same time
so thats how i ended up with 1 eye closed and 1 eye opened
for the whole show ;p

even with a starbucks mocha valencia in one hand
i could actually feel the cold bealkness of Brokeback
Althou i think the feezing aircon played a huge factor
hmm

maybe it was an agreement between the movie studios and the cinemas
: *you blast the aircon higher when screening our movies soo that the audience can really experience the show..*
soo next time you watch a show about the Sahara
dnt be surprised to start sweating ;p
or feel ur feet wet when u watch a show about flooding
that would be cool
:: the ultimate movie experience
:: almost as real as being in the movie ;p

but that somehow seems to be cheating on the director's part
then it wont require much cinematographical genius to engage the audience
and to make them feel for the movie

But i digressed
like i always do ;p

I can really relate with the movie in a sense
i could understand how the extreme elements in the wilderness
can bring people closer together
its like when i go for the extremely tough treks
even though we are only together for a week
but feelings can be intense
not that i actually wanted to french dian liang or meiling at any point in time
lol
althought there were points of dispair
when you just feel utterly in need of human affection
to remind you that you are
only human....
when i really wanted to devour the person beside me ..
maybe i was just feelign hungry i guesss ..
hahahaha
just is highly likely ...

since im constantly hungry when on treks
I should go more often
its the only time you can eat as many chocolates as you want
and not worry about gaining weight
not when you are worrying if you can survive the next upslope ;p

Incidentally i watched Casanova
which starred *Heath Leadger*
(no i do not know how to spell..thanks you very much) too.
His persona was soo differnt in both films that I was ready to give him an Oscar at the end of the show.
but it is not mine to give ..of course
although it was a little cliche
a little disney-like-fairy-tale-ending
a little silly
but still
entertaining and sweet
awww..

maybe because we have all heard the storyline before
~the feminist falling for a don juan with
and the don juan giving up his philandering for true love..
yeahyeah
maybe we are all jaded

there was a report about how some korean art students staged a play
- a fake marriage on a train
aimed at inspiring people ~ touching their hearts
reminding them on the beauty of romance
there was a huge outflow of support for the supposed "couple"
but when the truth was out
the backlash was twice the magnitude
the koreans felt cheated and that the students should haev staged it at a theater or sumting...

Sighz
come on
cant they see that
their out pouring of support was a sign of success for the students
that they have managed to touch the hearts of others
and inspired many
that all the passengers on the train that day
have been touched in some small way
and their lives enhanced.
to have it played in the theather would not have the same effects at all
a waste

it is a pity that shows the closed mindedness of a society
the rigidnesss
the coldness
bah!

i wonder how would singaporeans react if it should happen here
probably they would react in the same way
but i sincerely hope that not all sinagporeans would be so
utterly void of imagination
that instead people would applaud such an amazing act of charity
that youths of today still would think of enhancing the lives of others
and only for themselves

i give my seats up to old ladies
yes
but my act of kindness
is nothing compared to vast amount of heart
that those stduents have
because that requires a differnt set of social conciousness
that great people posess

~a day of lazing but not a day wasted~ :)

Butterfly = Cho

2006-02-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

From now on my geisha name is Hotomicho
hahahha
oh my..
my pimp daddy messaged me and ask mi to choose my geisha name
and i said Sukiyaki Yoshinoya Tempura

but he refused
says geisha arnt supposed to have food names
but I said I love sukiyaki!!!

after some harranging
i have decided on Hotomicho
Hotomi = double beauty
cho = butterfly
soo now im a beautiful butterfly

woo flutter flutter
i certainly dnt feel like one ;p
but one can live in the world of make believe..:)

He bought for his harem thongs for V-day!!
how sweet can it be ..
i am amused when i think of how he can walk into Topshop and
start picking up a bunch of tongs off the shelves ;p
what on earth were going through people's minds as they take sneaky peeks at him ....
hmmmm

Anywazz V-day is like christmas right
just that the gifts have a more consistent theme ;p
chocolates. flowers. thongs. chocolates. flowers. thongs.
;p
but i dint recieve any chocolates this year
which is good considering the amount of food i ate that day :(
It was good quality fats as my PE teacher once said
Foie Gras. rich pastas. chocolate deserts. wine.
after 2 full italian meals
a fruit diet the next day sounded amazingly appealing
but i love the rich flavor of the cusine
and the rich culture that permeates through the food

With Vik at Restaurante De Valentino..
the chef comes out and chat with his customers
Serves the food himself at times
Greets some of his guests with a loud "Bon Giorno"
soo addroable
he looks like a older, plumper , italian verison of Jamie Oliver
I guess if i eat his food everyday I would be that plump too ;p

Dinner with robin at Da Paolo was poshhh
a total opposite of Valentino
the crowd was yuppy-snooty
one lady sent her food back with just a
:" a fly landed here, send it back"
ohh myyy
u wonder with all that money
shdnt they learn to be nicer
or does money give you the illusion of power
and people like to abuse power :(

the day ended with a nice beach walk at east coast
which incidentally was very crowded
at 12 pm !!
and ice cream with baileys
a sinful day
but its meant to be right...
*winks*

On a seperate note
I must say it is soo sexy to see a guy in full control of his car
A guy driving manual at high speed on the roads is just such a turn on
lol

~thanks for all the flowers.. its feels like spring time in my room..~

*stawberry kisses for dl for being soo sweet for soo long... althou I cant be your valentine... i hope you will find someone to kiss with that sweet-lip-glossed-lips ;p*

Hmm weird

2006-02-11T18:31:00.000+08:00

Thats weird ..
my last post was deleted..

Ahh well
I wonder..
maybe its a sign
he created a fuss after i went out for dinner yest
even thou he met uo with 2 gals
messaging me incessently
i think he is insecure
but he was the one who wanted to break up in the first place
to let us take some time off
to see if we see each other in the same future

seems like he sees me as more of a posession
that if he cant have me.
neither can other guys
scary ahh
i hope he doesnt go psycho on me

i think i attract pyschos
i wonder why
help...

psychopsychopsychopsycho....

Ting Hai * listen to the sea*

2006-02-11T17:57:00.000+08:00

The sound of waves breaking
The starry night sky
Fireworks seen from afar
Luscious crabs for dinner
Walking along barefeet holding my heels
Chasing the waves..

It was soo peaceful
sitting there on the breaker
school seems soo far away
if only it came with a movie soundtrack in the backgroud
Ah Mei's Ting Hai would be good
But this is real life after all..

there were squiggles in the sand
written by people long gone
there messages of love
hearts doddled everywhere
safely out of the way from the swarming waves..
who knows how long the message will stay
it would be great to see it slow fade away ..
bits of sand moved by foorprints, wind and rain ..

Inspired by them ..
I took my heels
Bend down and wrote the first thing in my mind
Salsa...

then .. looking at it ..
i added
La Vida..

then decided to sign it off with Jaslyn ..

hmmm not very inspired i guess
and not a message of love
but could it be??

haha perhapes its my little love note
to rythm and passionate moves
and to the friends that i have made through it

My virgin salsa performance was a fleeting momemnt of glamour
but the performance high was amazing
the buzzz in your ears that keep u smiling
in front of friends and strangers

I might not be the most coordinated person
a kultz is more like it
but for a few precious moments
I felt like a DANCER
hahaha
its a foreign feeling
but i could get use to it ;p

~The pics took after the performance were hilarious
everybody trying to be sexy with the guys' hats
i think there is sumting about a hat
that makes you wana pose
or maybe its just me ;p

*will pose them up when i get them*
i am incorigible
maybe i was a pornstar in my previous life
lol

~more dancing tonigh~
woohoo !! Vday party at LADC
but im sure nothing can beat our wine party ;p

Confused

2006-02-03T02:30:00.000+08:00

urghhh
lots of things happened during cny
and now im feeling pretty messed up

shall look for retail theraphy tomorrow
but i think somethings even shopping cannot cure
now im no longer love-sick
neither am i physically sick any more

im just feeling kinda sick
its that deep feeling at the bottom of your tummy
where you noe there are things you have done which you should not have done..
or should you ..
blah..
i dint really like myself very much at this moment

nonononono

Farewell ...

2006-01-30T06:58:00.000+08:00

Goodbye
I dint get a chance to say i love you
but actually i have never had
neither did you

But in both our hearts
we know that we have a bond that is beyond words

I thank you for these 23 years of care
And for the wonderful childhood you have given me
the memories will last forever
deep in the burrows of my heart

goodbye grandad
I may not be religious
and I claim not to believe in life after death
But in my heart I really do hope
you will find happiness somewhere
with grandma by your side

I finally understand the deep eloquence of those 3 words
>>Rest In Peace

may you

for it is for the rest of eternity.....

* a quite pause please .. to reflect on our lives and recollect all those that we love and bask in the deep feeling of being loved ...*

I am not the type to say "I love you"
not even to my parents
I believe in actions more than words
soo take sometime today to spend a moment with your love one
even for just a moment
the deep sense of connection can transcend words

and S.H.E sang ~ you are only lonely...

2006-01-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

The msn conversation went like this :

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~hehe still no Danna
~nobody want

Junyuan says:
~is not nobody want
~is nobody can afford

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~haha why
~not very ex what ;p

Junyuan says:
~really hahaha.. how much

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~haha err once in a while feed me.. buy me nice kimono..
~bring me out to watch sumo wrestling can liao

Junyuan says:
~hahahaha sounds reasonable

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~yah lor
~dunoe why pppl dun wan

Junyuan says:
~ppl blind

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~hahaha
~yea i guess.. many many blind ppl out there

Junyuan says:
~ALOT

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~u are not

Junyuan says:
~i have good taste

Sugar Sissy 1 says:
~yes definately ;p
~for that i will help u earn more $$

-------end-------------------------

I love my pimp daddy ;p
lol
okiezz..
seriously
why there are alot of blind men out there??
whywhywhywhywhy

they see you but they dont see you

when when when will they see...

i cannot wait all my life

i have been waiting all this time

*when will you look up into the sky and see me in the horizon..
before i fly out of view and out of your life*

AHhhh CHoooo!

2006-01-28T08:09:00.000+08:00

Woke up to a huge sneeze today
Gzeee
What a rousing start to a day
my eyes refuses to open fully
my eyelids obstinately glued together
forcing me to move around the house half-blind

you know... one of those days...
when your mind is awake but your eyes remain stubbornly asleep
The constant battle between both
causes a series of bumps around the kitchen
while you try your best to function in semi darkeness.
Hopeing that its your toothbrush that you are using
and not one that is for cleaning the mold off the tiles..
Thats its coffee you are making
and not weird concoction of milo, salt and floor.

Those are the days when you would gladly go back to sleep with your eyes..
But alas ..
back on the computer doing research for Proton Cars
Soo exciting .. ;p
I could hardly contain my excitment
my hands are shaking

noo..
hmm i think its just the coffee
extra strong with a hug dash of milo
a heartlanders mocha ;p

We are supposed to do an advertising project on Proton
and I tell that to people
they laugh and say its hopeless
what encouragement ;p

They say: isnt that suppose to be a lousy Malaysian Car
yes we know that
and the challenge would be coming up with a rebranding effort for it
but they are like ..
But is a Malaysian Car !
okie enough said

the first spirit of fight and fire are gone
leaving us with abit of dejection
and a huge headache
good luck to us....

But nevermind me and kb shall perserver
and come out with something edgy for it
and we are suppose to slodge through it for the CNY
sooo much for a festive season

Maybe we can do a "ah beng" branding for it
and it will be the next EVO or Subaru WRX..
our tag line would be *Zng Your Car*
hmmmmmm

*had a serious moment outside my door yest*
I think someone is not very happy
to play such a small role in my life
but i really have no time !!

The past 2 weeks have been crazy
but soo many things happened ..

~Grand Openning: Days of hard work and time put in for 1 minute of fame
and even then ..
i could hardly keep the smile on my face
i dont think im a born performer
but nobody believes it when i say im shy ;p

But the rock concert after that was pretty fun
thou i think its the was voldka
and the beer

i tried to teach alvin, hoseng and bk to play drinking goggles
why i do not know too..
for i actually suck at drinking games..
but i found someone worse than me..
hoseng ..
heheh
good to feel unstupid for short while
but they always learn ;p
somehow guys pick it up faster
maybe im just slow ;p

I AM SLOW
hahahah
in Darwin's theory of the survival of the fittest
ill probably be extinct

but im not.
soo ..
hmm maybe i have evolve some other features of adpatation that i am unaware off
i wonder what they are
hmmm

okie.. dance beckons..
++ to be continued ++

2006-01-18T16:24:00.000+08:00

* my heart skipped a beat*

damnnnn

Another insightful insight

2006-01-18T01:10:00.000+08:00

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly
motivated. Sharp
thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves
attention. Deep
feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm
Standpoint. Needs no
motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left
brain). Loves to dream. Strong
clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in
the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts.
Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless.
Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift

What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla

which according to bk is rather true.. i agree with him ;p

* i wana slip into oblivion*

2006-01-16T01:41:00.000+08:00

Sleeepy
but cant sleep
work to do
work to do

There is a fission of fustration
in my heart
I feel like yelling out loud
Enough is enough !!!

If only this world will fade away
but not to another day
to stay as it is while i contemplate
the reason for my state

I have an obsession that cannot be fulfilled
it eats into my very being
I just wana get drunk
and slip into oblivion

Depraved
for passion
untamed, unreigned, unrestrained passion
to consume my very being
and make me whole

GHM

~disclaimer: this is not meant to be a poem or a song or any form of artistic expression..those are best left to the experts or the seriously disturbed.. whichever comes first...
this is just the way i think ~

:: Rain before Dawn ::

2006-01-10T16:10:00.000+08:00

:: Prologue ::

Heard some really sad news yest.
Althou i sorta suspected ..
but never thought of asking ..

:: Main ::

Ahh..
good things never last..
but as they say
is it better to own it once
than never to have own it before ??

~Lets all look forward to the next dawn

So do not fear the loss
For a forsaken sunrise
will lead to a regretful sunset

Regardless of how saddening a sunset may be
at least you have seen the beauty of a sunrise
and it might be enough ..
just

me..
I rather live in my world
where
for one moment
just one moment
everything is captured in a snapshot
in my mind... that would be enough

i hope

i am moving on..
keeping a snapshot in my alblum of many
perfect sunrises ...

for now

:: Epilogue ::

But can I do that for the rest of my live
living for each perfect snapshot
and then not owning it
fustrating
it is..

indecisive..greedy... weak
would be what my friends think

maybe..
maybe not

:: Author's Notes ::

~im just a photographer in the journey of love
care to pose for mi ?

~An apology to those who do not understand a feaking thing i was writing about..
(while i highly doubt that you will continue reading till this part of post)
Due to the sensitive nature of the issues touched upon ..
the author has decided to write in highly metaphorical sense
and also as Eric has pointed out..
i am poetic by nature.. ;p
yeah right
more like highly nonsensical by nature

Thanks to : Jeremy
who helped on the spelling of "Epilogue"
*However he holds no responsibility to other spelling mistakes in this post*
The author is just dyslexic by nature.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

OAC gathering

2006-01-08T11:15:00.000+08:00

soo gald to see my OAC mates again..
this is the first gathering with the same number as the gals
which is amazing considering that we have 5 guys and 12 gals in the club ;p

and onli with them can i eat Seoul Garden ...
althou it wasnt particularly good food
but it has its memories .. :)

Journey to the MOS

2005-12-29T15:15:00.000+08:00

Back in 2005 ..
for this blog took a longgg time to reach its intended destination...
residing under draft status
.. spending a lonely new years eve by itself ;(

>>
Ohh doesnt Christmas fill you up with such warmth and cheer
that you want to just give everybody a big huggg
...
yahh rightt..
depending on who is near u i guess ;p

Another christmas came and left
And somehow year by year the magic of Christmas fades
a pale form of what it was when I was small and christmas trees were tall
yeahhh
now im not soo talll ... and christmas trees are still very tall
i still cant hang the lights without help from a laddle ..;p

Christmas eve was spent hanging out with sab and cora ;p
planned to go MOS ..finally
BUT the queue was amazing
it defys logic..
it just wasnt moving
everybody just looked they have been standing there like.. forever
it seems as if everybody came at the same time
"whomp" and the queue just fell from the sky into place

To avoid spending Christmas eve waiting for in a queue ...
although the crowd looked like they were having loads of fun *rolls eyes*
we went ta MOMO ..
and they were playing christmas songs !!
urgh?! hello.. 10pm already..
but it was then the first tingle of the christmas warmth wiggled its way through my body
ahh.. finally some christmas spirit in my cold cynical heart ;p

But since no one was dancing .. we decided to walk back to Clark Quay
and galk at the queue at MOS
hopping for some eye candy
and maybe some kind .. but very foolish but still very cute soul
would invite us to join them in the queue ;p

Anywaz.. we noe how that would end up
for naught of course
;p
soo in the end we opt for having some munchies at TCC to while the time away
and we talked
and talked
and talked

and suddenly.. people around us were shouting
"Merry Christmas!!"
....
i guess the christmas crept up on us..
and we dint even noe it..
but it was a nice cosy way to spend it..
we then proceeded to party the night away at momo
getting picked up by some young .. er boys
hiaz..
some things never change ;p

>> Then .. with music still in our blood
we planned to go MOS on the following Wed..
but alas ...it was another failed attempt ;p
and we missed the whole gp of salsa ppl who went there..
dang..

>>finally ..
on Friday .. we decided to go by hook or by crook ;p
Had a salsa gathering at the beach during the day
and got gloriously suntanned.
First time having an actual potluck on the beach
Usually when ppl say they will bring food..
it usually consists mainly of chips ..;p
but surprise ..surprise
baked rice-nuggets-spring rolls-jelly-sandwiches-punch-pizza.
wowz.. im impressed.. and very full
my little contribution was corn chips, salsa, and squeeze cheese>>
a most ingenious piece of food technology .
who ever thought you can squeeze cheese outa can..
and into ur mouth .. hehe

plus.. short bursts of beach captain's ball and frisbee..
mixed in with a bit of rugby whenever possible ;p
swimming with rita
being fed stawberries by sabrina..
dancing salsa in the sand with fadz
what a rose-hued day
i cant wait to see the pics they took

MOS>> me, sab, cora, yunfeng, rita, joyce..
queued freaking 2 hrs to get in
and .. hmm...while the interior deco was amazing
them music left me wanting
1 word : uninspiring

>> News years day after
was a quiet affair ..
catching fire works at the padang
Sky flowers.. amazingly pretty
one of those things ..
that even wide screen tv cant convey its magnificence, its beauty, the scale of its enormity ...

2006 >> Soo when's the next party ??
School has been freaking busy
i think im soo gg to die this term
classes are competitive with demanding professors
gym has become an obsession that i cannot ignore
salsa practices are becoming a chore
cant wait to do muay thai again this week
itching to give the good old sandbag a whack
Loreal e-strat is tedious.. and getting boring
Loreal brandstorm has just began
Research work is piling up
Marketing for muay thai is taking up too much time
I am fighting a sugar craving that even willy wonka cannot satisfy
My heart .. is running on its own mind..
dragging a confused me along
yoyoing between sadness.. happiness.. hopelessness and whistfulness
my brain is still on holiday and refusing to come back
in conclusion .. im going .. bonkers

But whats new ;p

>> 1 last party before true mugging begins: Lights Out bash at MOS
Hopefully with R&B at the main dance floor..
it will be more bearable
plus with lots of other friends there
let it be happening..
pleaseeee.....

BORING BROWN

2005-12-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Pah!.. i sound boring ;p hahhahah man.. i cant believe it

Ambrosia

2005-12-24T13:56:00.000+08:00

I <3 celeste's aviators..

My try at being lao dah .. with sabrina as my ..ermm mistress??? hahhaha

Pride and Prejudice

2005-12-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

Pride complicates matters
it brings upon
words that shouldnt have been said
sliences that should have been filled
actions that should not have been taken
things that we should have done

and most of all regret

If you are lucky enough,
like Elizabeth Bennet
you get to remedy it before its too late..
but its never too late right>>

hmmm ..
in the real life that we occupy ..
sometimes unhappily soo
we do leave things till its too late
and forever hold that little pang in the heart
for things unfulfilled ...

The film was great ..
while although not totally juciy like the book
it was enjoyable to see an adaptation that dint try to be "creative"
although mi and simin agreed that the whole show would be much more "watchable" if the actors were better looking. ;p
They made Biggings look like an arse from 'dumb and dumber'
Jane look like a 'crossed-eye more plain jane'
and Darcy unfortunately looks abit pudgy ..
he lacks the sharp sardonic air ..
I think Ewan Macgreggor would be soo much better ..
even Ralph Finnes..
and where is my Liam Neelson
*blah*
but thats sterotyping right.. hmmm

I guess to do the other actresses justice..
you just cannot look good when you are acting opposite Kiera Knightly
she is just too beautiful ..
perhaps the whole show was cast around her
;p

But it is lovely to hear english spoken soo
I love the way the old english language flows ..
and the cutting brittish accent
every word dripping with meaning
the subtilities of the language make every conversation laden with underlying themes
I have read pride and prejudice like 5 times.. and each time is a treasure hunt,
you rediscover gems and find new hidden meanings ..

just the other day at Kyno...
while browsing for Terry Pratchett books
I found a gaggle of teenage boys gushing over the author
at first i tot .. 'how tiresome .. what daft boys'
but since i was there.. i evesdrop while browsing
> a skill perfected by the female race eons ago ;p

And guess what ..
yes they were british
and somehow ..
even their gushings.. seem more ....cute ;p
hahha
im an accent-ist
find me a hot english bloke anytime ..
im just sit and hear him speak all dayyyyyyyyyyyyy/...

;p

::a day of sloching at home::
not so much outa my own will
but .. more of the will of my tummy :(
seem to have contracted some sorta gastric flu ..
yest night was a torture..
waking up to a persistent cramp in the abdomen
falling aslp in the toilet a couple of times..
but still my tummy has not left me in peace
*blah*

soo today im home-bound
shall do whatever domestic stuff that is required of mi
>>like finally cleaning my room ..after 1 year ;p
>>my shopping bags are creating a black whole in the center of my room
i keep heaping them into a pile..
but they never seem enough..
soon it will occupy a alternte dimension of its own
and start consuming the rest of my room ;p

*yawnz*
Yunfeng says that Mr Darcy doesnt exist in real life..
I shall beg to differ
he is the closest character to real life
for while he has his flaws .. he works towards whatever he feels is right
and for the best of Elizabth
Soo Mr Dracy shall remain my dream prince..
for now ...
and in my reality ..
Ewan is Darcy :)
coo

*might have to skip mambo tonight*
soo soori ben..
cant be a bunny for ur bachelor night
im sure you can find bouncier bunnies out there .. ;p
hehe

For now i need to busy myself on research about anti-money-laundering laws
how interesting
Zzzzzzzzz..

:: hope is a dangerous thing to have .. but i hope ...i hope that the memories i have left in the dregs of your mind.. will leave a lasting imprint with sprinkles of stardust and glitter ...that will bring a smile to your face whenever you think of me ...::

goldie

2005-12-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

*blig bling*
the shine is blinding me..
i see the future..
my trip to GUESS has got me Paris Hilton ambitions
flashes of gold with quirky accessories ..
*dreamz*
and soo i drift in my own world as i shop
until i bumped into Guan Hua
sitting by himslef, as girls mualed around him, ignoring his prescence
thats because he is "the invisible boyfriend"
the ones that fade into the shadows during sale and appear at the cash register .. with a strong willing arm, waiting to be loaded

ahhh
howw sweet..
i wish i had one..
mine just grumble and give me a time limit
every shop becomes a race.. a battle.. a stressful exercise ;p

Anywaz... i decided to plonk down beside him and have a friendly chat
which turned out to be a quick lesson on Mars and Venus ;p
>he said that men are naturally designed to be useless at shopping
because they can only focus on one thing at a time
and it just gets overwhelming with soo many clothes sometimes
>while women can scan and take in more things in one view
which also means we can check out a cute guy with our peripheral vision
while guys get caught checking girls out easily
LOL
> i made a reference to how guys cannot multi-task
and he said that is why when a guy is asked by his gf if he has thought of her the whole day... he will have to say no..
But the girl can say honestly that she has thought of him the whole day - while doing other stuff..

hmmm... seriouss.....
anywaz.. I wouldnt trust a guy if he said he has been thinking of me the whole day
that reeks of a huge flowerful lie

but would I want my bf to be a artful lyer???..
welllllll
if it makes me happy
i guess.. a teeny weeny white lie would do sometimes
like telling me how beautiful i am
how he wont mind if i ever become fat
how my face is actually better than the SKII model
how he worships the ground walk on
yeahhhhhhhhhhh right
like that would ever happen ;p

He wouldnt even walk slower for me
while i limp along on my bai kah leg down the stairs ;p
what a caring bf..
i imagine he would be a lovely father
training all his kids to develope strong leg muscles once they can walk
trying to keep up with him and not get lost ;p

I told him ..
I saw ci-ern's bf shielding her from the cold up on the freezng mountains
~ memories flashed back to Stong and Europe
and i got an insight (bright light and angelic music)..
>>he would never do that ...
if we were ever in a similar position
he would probably be too busy cursing about how cold he is
to bother about me
sad but true...
although he denied ...
it was a denial without much fight ;p
ahh welll
soo much for needing a hero

great ...
i am a kick-ass gal
and no one needs to take care of me yahh
that seems to be the general thought
hmmm i guess that comes with not having a heaving bossom
>> u will not have no big-strong alpha males wanting to sweep u away to some safe place (preferbly into their big-strong chests) ;p
*pui*

Anywazz...
The Decent was a great movie-- seriously fightful.. in a good way
i think it was inspired by Smeggle..from LOTR
but those smeggles are more blood-lusting than devious
:6 women getting caved-in in some ulu cave and meeting those creatures
robin said there woudlnt be much of a movie if it was 6 guys..
as guys would have made a quick job of those smeggles
but i shall treat that as a sexist remark and not comment
for some things .. rolled eyes will do

However the caving sceens are amazing thou
really inspiring to see those women do cool shit
makes me wana jump straight up and start doing cross crountry runs and rock climb and white water raft... and develope washboard abbs ;p
but that would also mean i have to open doors, carry my own bag and limp on my one good leg by myslef for teh rest of my life

ahhhh the choices we have to make ;p

on a happier note:
i got my grade review
although a B+ is still very gloomy :(
But with eyes like Rasphutin .. i would rather not talk to him anymore
I feel myself shrinking like Alice in wonderland everytime i talk to Menkoff

Kiwi on the other hand gave me an A+
!!! woohooo !!! go Supply Chain !!!
I wonder if the rest of the class saw it coming
i must admit .. we must have looked like a pretty bimbo gp heheh

Unfortunatly a 3.8 avg this term is soo not gg to get me my magna
blah

why oh why

sighz

i miss the flippant way you flip your hair, your yellow tinted smile, your jacket that kept me warm

Carnivore no more and scarred leggs

2005-12-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

*Groanz*
NO MORE MEAT
for a while at least ;p
Just got back from a huge dinner at Carnivore, Chijmes
Despite whatever my teamates had said during the trek that they could eat a whole cow ..we could hardly stand after half an hour of meat being served continuously to us... bleah .. the bbq-ed pineapple near the end was a nice touch thou.. the caramised sweetness.. balanced the tartness of the fruit and cleansed the palette of all the heavy meat taste..*yum*

Too bad it came abit too late.. i think Heng puked it out after we left
Sad to say it wasnt a very nice warm ending to one of the most grueling trek i have attempted to date. And I thought i was prepared for anything after going to Tahan ;p
Well i was prepared for everything other than 7 .. no 8 days of RAIN .. *bleah*
And all that could possibly go wrong ..did.. well kinda off..

Journal of the trek

Start of trek:
It was then we knew why it was called ulu sepat..
yes yes.. because it is freaking ulu
the trip to the starting point of the trek was a difficult one
the roads are almost inaccessible with loose soil ..
the 4 wheel drive got caught in the mud countless times and we were forced to get out and WALK through the freaking mud soo that the driver, Shafik can force his jeep through... at 3am in the morning.. *brrrr*

=stop=
needa pack ...gg for kayakking expedition tml
haizz.. regreting it terribly now man..
if it rains again tml i will throw my paddle at the sky and start raving at it .. and then just throw my wretched body into the sea .. in defeat..
How can anyone be possibley sooo suay .. maybe because its in my name *yun* ..
Clouds have a speacial affinity to me .. ;p esp those big, fat and juicy with rain ;p urgh
The laugh with glee everytime they see me .. they go *hoho there she is.. lets follow her and drench her and cover her from the evil sun*
*pui*
i miss the gals.. and wana SHOP with simin before she leaves.. *sobs*
and now that i got my RA $$$$..i can go crazy !!!!
hiazz got money but no time to spend.. i shd just hit myself on the head on the wall ;p

Nevermind.. shopping therapy will come soon
and Work is in waiting in line
maybe a facial and manicure too to remind my body that it is a lady and not a wild jungle woman..although my body will beg to differ.. my legs are now a criss-cross of scars and sand fly bites ;p ..

im crossing my fingers for *km reveiw* and my supply chain results

My dear Kwee .. please dnt let mi down

to u: I hope you feel better .. your misery makes mi feel horrible

soo many words i cannot say .. and shall not say

Pooh

2005-12-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Gosh ..
its been a long time since i jotted down my thoughts.
so many things have happened
and yet the ironic thing is
the more things happen .. the less time i have to write

but looking back..
im not sure if i had a good term or not :(
Just got back my spanish and marketing strat grades..
and B+ and a A- respectively ..
sighz.. looks like repeating a stella year of 4 GPA is near impossible
maybe i migth not even get another deanlist..
le sighz..
*dissapointment hangs heavily in the air*

Robin tries to cheer mi up..
but .. he doesnt get it that im not sad. NONONO..
Im angry with myself..
I noe i dint apply enough of myself into those 2 .. especially spanish .
I am angry at my incompetence...
When u have reach soo far..
falling below expectations is hard to swallow

ben said to me ..
if you have no expectations.. you will not be dissapointed.
funny .. thats what DL siad about relationships ..
But i said .. if u have no expectations, you will hae no goals, you have no goals, you will not reach far, if you do not reach far, you wont move

Thats different in a relationship right? i dunoe..
i do not set goals in my relationship.
like ..err *i want a A in kissing technique* and a *A+ in positioning * .. ;p
hehehee..

BUT some good things did happen:
> we won first prize in the Triumph Marketing competition !!!
Team Maxx: simin, cora, jeffery, alvin and me..
Although there were many sleepless nights, long meetingss and unhealthy snacks... ;p at least it was funny.. alot of lame bra jokes that seemed funnier at 3 am in teh morning .. -AND will not leave the room.. * i swear*
We had seemed like an unlikely group, but looks like we pulled the stunt of the year !!
haha and there seemed to be unhappy competitors .. according to alvin: there was a competitor from SMU no less, who panned our marketing plans on her blog:
I could barely contained my smirk as i read it.
>>SHe sounded really bitter, and she thought her group's idea was a sure winner, but the judges just did not understand it fully.
*rolls eyes* .. i mean the whole point of the competition is to COMMUNICATE your idea to the judges and to IMPRESS upon them how your idea will benefit their company. I like your idea of a gothic fariy tale..seriously .. i have always thought a darker twist to fairy tales was tres chic.. but exactly, the idea is not NEW- if you think its the greatest most innovative idea of the century..
>> Please! the idea was sooo LAST CENTURY.. if you are up-to-date with the promotions of companies out there ~ which you should if you want to be a decent marketing major~ the idea was used by many already...
like Dior's last season fashion show and even the ENVY levis ads now for the ladies jeans.. reaks of your idea.. *pui*
Okay .. i have ranted enough ..I just couldnt stand the sourness, the arrogance.. :P *too bad you have no money to go Thailand now.. if you need to depend on winning a competition to go to somewhere soo near like Thailand, then you are not only a lousy marketing student, you are a lousy finance student, bec you cant even handel simple budgeting to save like what, a measly $600 ??* *snigger*

Okayyyyy i ranted more.. sorri.. no more ranting, no more bitchness- i shall retract my claws ;p xxxxxxx

>I finally got my first sports medal in my university life. haha.. not a very glam IVP medal.. but still a medal ...for the SMU runabout.
Team SMUX : yu jian, robin, heng, alvin and me.
BUT we dint compete in the CCA catergory.. being astute game theorist that we are.. we have decided that the Nash Equlibrium lies in us taking part in the "open" catergory... where our odds are better.. why compete with the track and field team?? Let the floorball, soccer, rugby fight it out amongst themselves for the so called "blonde" as Nash would say.. we on the other hand will go for the "brunette" ;p and we got the babe !! 2nd prize.. with $$ in sportslink voucher yet spent ;p

Took part in the ultimate frisbee competition: dint win anything.. but got free booze all round at Brewerkz!!!.. someone fom the frisbee team was VERY GENEROUS. I think he was drunk when he offered to buy us more drinks. hehe and I made sure to look everyone in the eye when toasting - so as not to have bad sex for 7 years ..LOL
The 7-8 pints was not very kind to my gut thou.. me and robin blacked out in front of my house.. with the car door open... because i REFUSED to get outa car.. i came around at like 4am to find him sleeping on the cement floor beside the car.. omg ! I am amazed at how safe my neighbourhood is. AND that also means too that robin is not strong enough to carry me up to my house.. ;(
HOWHOWHOW .. my wedding night ... *hmf* .. this problem shall be dealt with soon. hahah He will have to do more push-ups ;p

ANwaz i puked like i have never puked before. Beer still brings shudders down my spine .. *brrrrr*

Ahh well. lesser booze.. lesser calories ;p but ohh!!! i cant wait to go clubbing again! i feel like DANCING!!! needa shake that huge booty of mine.. its getting big enough to play mahjong on ;p

Sadly this holiday would not the season to be a merry.. I do NOT do merry :p
pah..anwayz still have Andre's and Francis research ..
still meeting Triumph to settle the follow up of our plans..
still going trekking in Malaysia . yeah! clearing another 2 of the G7 of Malaysia! ~Another 7 days of kickass climbing.. no bathing.. instant food ..lousy sleeping conditions, perpetual rain with lots of LEECHES .. URGH !But still the ideal sounds tantalising.. call me crazy .. call me anythign you like actually .. as long as you are out of hearing range ;p

> Plus Kayakking around Sinagpore and Ubin after i come back .. yeahh to feel the power of the sea.. its great to be in the elements of nature.. that is if i do not come back with "pai kah", "pai qui" or both from the trek ;p
because, you see..I havent mastered the art of paddeling with my tongue yet .. hehehe

AHh i can hear terry calling mee....shall not keep him waiting . ;p
I shall cuddle up with my latest Terry Pratchett book now ..
I love Borders !!!..
did i mention i love borders ..
yes I love Borders !!
hahhaa

BUt the man of my live now is not terry thou ..
its DOnnie !!!
*Le Swoon*.. he is amazingly hot in Sha Po Lang .. the new chinese movie
about .. triads and police in HK..
apparently after Infernal Affairs..
now everybody wants to produce a Traid-Police Movies ..*rooooolllls eyyeees twice*
And they say only the Sinagporeans are unimaginative.. ;p

But no complains here.. the movie: SPL, was filmed and produced artisitically .. very darkish stylised film.. showed signs of Quientan Tarrantino's genius .. with a yummylicious donnie yen .. srutting around in tight leather jacket, and even tighter pants.. and *holds-breath* circulation cutting tight balck shirt ..
the story gets more exciting as he takes off more clothes.. lol
sounds porno yea..i think i sound like some lecherous old man watching a shu qi movie.. ;p
Duuhhhhh

Good night.. back to my books .. and maybe tonight i shall have sweet.. ~ note: NOT WET ;p dreams of Donnie in his hottest black carrying me up to my house while im drunk .. hahhaha... * pish* .. someone hit me ..pleaseeee...

*Chocolate Caliente*